Hoodrat Heroes

Emoji Pajama Methuen Baller Selling Hundreds Of Jordan’s He Got From A Drug Dealer Just So Happens To Be A Manager At Foot Locker

Emoji Pajama Methuen Baller Selling Hundreds Of Jordan’s He Got From A Drug Dealer Just So Happens To Be A Manager At Foot Locker

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This is Ricardo Carmona of Methuen:

And yesterday he came to a turtle rider’s attention when he started selling some fresh Jordan’s on a Lowell/Dracut Facebook yard sale page:

His Facebook page is actually a never ending sale of the official slippers of hoodboogers everywhere:


Almost all of the Facebook pages that he likes involve buying and selling things in the Lawrence area, as well as yardsale pages, and of course The Brockton Hub:

Guess where he worked……

Foot locker!! What are the odds an online Jordan’s salesman used to be a manager at a shoe store in the mall that sells copious amounts of Jordan’s?

Him and the wifey actually go to Jordan conventions and set up booths in some of the most ghettofabulous emoji pajamas you’ve ever seen:

So the turtle rider messaged him to see what the dilly was:

My plug? Da fuq? Time to hit up urban dictionary:

Oh OK. The Foot Locker manager gets his Jordan’s from a drug dealing connect. Yup, this seems legit.

The shoes he’s trying to sell retail at $260, but $220 seems a bit steep for merchandise that clearly was obtained through ratchtacular means. So we sent him a message to see if we could get the price a little lower. Didn’t work out too well….

And……..now we’re blocked. Come on Ricardo, how you gonna do the turtle like that? You’re gonna charge us $300 for stolen shoes that I can get for $260 at your former employer? You think this is my first time buying bootleg Jordan’s from a shady dude from Methuen on Facebook? Don’t insult my street skills fam!!

Naturally his Jordan’s Facebook page is just for business purposes and he doesn’t have any personal pictures on there. But he only has 25 friends on that account, and one of them just so happens to be himself. And of course he’s everything you dreamed he would be and more:

Chains, top shelf liquor, and overpriced jerseys made by a 6 year old kid in Bangladesh. It’s like the Bitcoin currency of your average Lawrence swamp donkey.

The moral of the story here is that you can’t even live in Methuen anymore because it’s too close to Lawrence. Once online Jordan salesmen move into your neighborhood it’s pretty much game over.

22 Comment(s)
  • Mg
    December 14, 2017 at 11:50 pm

    Can’t figure out who needs the bra more, him or his supah fly bio-hatch?

  • Bulldog
    December 13, 2017 at 8:11 am

    I REALLY hope someone finds out what store he used to work at and sends this to Footlocker.

    • Dave Lind
      December 13, 2017 at 8:52 am

      The shoe store at Lincoln plaza got broken into a few weeks ago through the roof, and all the air Jordans were stolen….. just sayin’

  • John Barker
    December 12, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    Jordan’s are hideous….

  • Chris
    December 12, 2017 at 9:38 pm

    It’s unacceptable how little his feet are.

  • They call me Ponch
    December 12, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    All them kicks are stoopid ugly.

    Like your moms.

  • whatevuh
    December 12, 2017 at 5:06 pm

    Ricardo you are nothing but a ghetto slob, going nowhere in life. You and your female are two of the ugliest PR’s I have ever seen. Stay up there in the ghetto , you are not welcome down here where white people live

  • Tyrone
    December 12, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    How did America come to this ?

    • True Reality Speaks
      Mirror Mirror
      December 12, 2017 at 10:13 pm

      Thank a lib.

      • input requested
        December 23, 2017 at 4:29 am

        are you a right wing bot?

  • Steven Stover
    December 12, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    Prolly knockoffs that he bought at Midtown Mall or the Lawrence Flea Market for 10 bucks a pair.

  • msheadkracker
    December 12, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    How much you wanna bet he was in charge of all the inventory counting? What’s a couple of pairs of missing shoes anyway…former employee, I bet not one pair of shoes was paid for, this dirtbag is the reason prices go up, and he sees nothing wrong with what he’s doing.

  • Haverhill Landlord
    Haverhill Landlord
    December 12, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    There’s a veritable tidal wave of human sewerage coming out of Lawrence and flooding the surrounding communities, and the only way to stop it is to have Dildo Baggins bring the ring to Campagnone Common and give it to one of the heroin-craving hookers.

  • Snow Owl
    December 12, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa…and that’s why nobody is sending their hard earned money to help Puerto Rico. When PRs learn to help themselves instead of suckling off public assistance, dealing drugs and stolen property, raising hell, and having millions of welfare suckling kids, then maybe….maybe people’s opinions of them will change. Ha ha ha ha ha…FORMER Footlocker employee. Geeee I wonder why.

  • Ricardo Carmona
    December 12, 2017 at 3:41 pm

    You realy know what that’s going to give me more cloud in the sneaker game offcoure is a nigga hating

    • awww
      December 12, 2017 at 3:46 pm

      *pat pat*

      we can’t all learn to read and write

    • Reality Check
      December 12, 2017 at 3:50 pm

      Firstly, throwing race cards doesn’t make you innocent. Tell that to everyone else who thinks like you.

      Secondly, look up the difference between “cloud” and “clout”, so that you try to look like someone who isn’t stupid enough to be fencing shoes from his former job on social media.

      Thirdly, this actually gives you less “cloud” (sic) because knowingly procuring stolen merchandise in those dollar amounts is a crime.

      Finally, rachet is as rachet does.

      • awww
        December 12, 2017 at 3:53 pm

        but you have to admit his jammie game is on point.

      • 5HourEnergy'd
        December 12, 2017 at 4:23 pm

        This should be printed up as a guide and handed out to about half of the ratchets that TBS profiles.

        Offcourse, we have no cloud with these people, so they probably wouldn’t listen anyway.

    • Chico and the Man
      December 12, 2017 at 4:28 pm

      HUH? lol

  • Ho Chi Minh
    December 12, 2017 at 2:46 pm

    Would rather live in Khe Sahn in 1968 than Methuen in 2017.

  • Miller Lite
    December 12, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    I hate Michael Jordan.

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