Emoji Pajama Methuen Baller Selling Hundreds Of Jordan’s He Got From A Drug Dealer Just So Happens To Be A Manager At Foot Locker
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This is Ricardo Carmona of Methuen:
And yesterday he came to a turtle rider’s attention when he started selling some fresh Jordan’s on a Lowell/Dracut Facebook yard sale page:
His Facebook page is actually a never ending sale of the official slippers of hoodboogers everywhere:
Almost all of the Facebook pages that he likes involve buying and selling things in the Lawrence area, as well as yardsale pages, and of course The Brockton Hub:
Guess where he worked……
Foot locker!! What are the odds an online Jordan’s salesman used to be a manager at a shoe store in the mall that sells copious amounts of Jordan’s?
Him and the wifey actually go to Jordan conventions and set up booths in some of the most ghettofabulous emoji pajamas you’ve ever seen:
So the turtle rider messaged him to see what the dilly was:
My plug? Da fuq? Time to hit up urban dictionary:
Oh OK. The Foot Locker manager gets his Jordan’s from a drug dealing connect. Yup, this seems legit.
The shoes he’s trying to sell retail at $260, but $220 seems a bit steep for merchandise that clearly was obtained through ratchtacular means. So we sent him a message to see if we could get the price a little lower. Didn’t work out too well….
And……..now we’re blocked. Come on Ricardo, how you gonna do the turtle like that? You’re gonna charge us $300 for stolen shoes that I can get for $260 at your former employer? You think this is my first time buying bootleg Jordan’s from a shady dude from Methuen on Facebook? Don’t insult my street skills fam!!
Naturally his Jordan’s Facebook page is just for business purposes and he doesn’t have any personal pictures on there. But he only has 25 friends on that account, and one of them just so happens to be himself. And of course he’s everything you dreamed he would be and more:
Chains, top shelf liquor, and overpriced jerseys made by a 6 year old kid in Bangladesh. It’s like the Bitcoin currency of your average Lawrence swamp donkey.
The moral of the story here is that you can’t even live in Methuen anymore because it’s too close to Lawrence. Once online Jordan salesmen move into your neighborhood it’s pretty much game over.