Sports

Eric Decker & Wife’s Erotic Pregnancy Pictures Are No Match For Tom Brady’s Royal Family

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No one can accuse Eric Decker and Jessie James of being publicity-shy, and the couple will add another sexy spread to their portfolio Jan. 28 when GQ hits newsstands.

“Mile-High Club” is the headline that accompanies a photo of the semi-clad couple in a provocative pose on the bed in their Denver area home.

The layout, shot in November by GQ photographer Ben Watts, shows the Denver Broncos wide receiver bare chested and in broken-in jeans, while his singer wife Jessie wears her skivvies and not much else (or in the bathtub shot, presumably just bubbles).

Her baby bump (it’s a girl we learned a few months back on their E! reality TV show, “Eric and Jessie: Game On”) is on full display as they cavort in the kitchen and what appears to be a study (bookshelves in the back and he has a football-shaped phone in his hands).

eric-decker-jessie-james images-255 decker-jamesTWO

And people think Tom Brady is a fruitcake? Newsflash Eric Decker: there’s only room for one superstar with a smoking hot wife around here. And unlike you, he doesn’t have to make surprisingly erotic soft core pornography with his pregnant wife to get attention. You can make fun of Tom Brady all you want, but unlike this nudnik, he’s won three Super Bowls. He can do whatever the hell he damn well pleases. Sure, Giselle might dress him up like a Euro-weenie. And yes, he is an Uggs model FSR. But this type of debauchery is beneath TB12.

All this aside Decker is the one who scares me the most going into Patriots-Broncos showdown this weekend. The game is literally all I can think about right now, and likely will be until kickoff. The thought of the Patriots losing this game makes me wanna listen to grunge music and talk about how much I hate my parents (just kidding Mom and Dad – TurtleBoy loves you). If we lose, I have a bad, bad feeling it will be because Decker has a monster day. Talib will take care of Demaryius Thomas. Jamie Collins is a super freak so he should neutralize Julius Thomas. Wes Welker will get his. But Decker is due for a big game. Nonetheless, Eric Decker and his smokeshow wife will never be true American royalty. This is it looks like to be the kind rookie:

tom-brady-gisele-kids-disneyland

Go Pats!!!

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2 Comment(s)
  • matt
    January 18, 2014 at 9:28 am

    I’ve been waiting for an AFC championship blog from turtleboy all week and this is what we get? Lol

  • Joey G
    January 18, 2014 at 8:18 am

    These are more pansyass than engagement pictures. These may be the most pansyassest pictures I have ever seen two (presumably) straight people pose in. This may be the greatest depiction of pansyassism since Bruno Mars. I almost have more respect for Rae Carruth than Eric Decker.

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