Failure Swift Claims To Be Selling “Anti-Skin Cancer” Ointments, And Her Lawsuit Is Drawing National Attention To The Rhode Island Judge And Lawyer That Allowed Us To Get Here 



We’ve got some updates on Failure Swift and her CAPS LOCK LAWSUIT against Turtleboy. A number of legal websites have chimed in now that the ACLU is involved and it’s not good press for Attorney/State Rep Christopher Millea or Judge Susan McGuirl. She also claims to be selling a cure or antidote for skin cancer, which is very, very illegal. Click here to read about it TB Daily News.


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30 Comment(s)
  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    September 13, 2019 at 8:38 am

    Failure?? Is this some of your home-brew?

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    July 4, 2019 at 6:03 am

    More bad news for Failure Swift……..

  • Mr. Wood
    July 3, 2019 at 1:28 pm

    Mr. Wood lost his wood while observing the Judge. As a matter of fact, Mr. Wood’s wood may have irreparable damage. Needless to say Mr. Wood would absolutely not allow his wood anywhere near Judge porky pig.

  • Poor Metro
    July 3, 2019 at 12:36 pm

    Waste 5 minutes to watch her video about how beautiful she is. It must be old, as she said she was just starting a new relationship…but oh my! This lady has lost it! Turtleboy…please see if you can upload the new videos today. Priceless. Metro needs to take her in for an evaluation.

  • Frankie Valli
    July 3, 2019 at 12:24 pm

    That’s McGuirl! Wow, wow, what a cow! Elsie McGuirl! Who makes her robes twirl, with the brain of a squirrel!

  • Barry
    July 3, 2019 at 11:35 am

    The judge is far more frightening than the lawyer or Failure Swift. FS is exactly what she appears to be; no more no less. There will always be unethical lawyers. They are enablers for hire and go in knowing that their case will get dismissed but as long as the money is green they won’t lose any sleep.

    That judge though… I’m fortunate to not have had any experience in the RI courts but this woman is under the impression that she can rule by decree. It’s not enough that a wrong was righted, she’s no less than a judicial liability and should be removed from the bench immediately and disbarred.

  • Alice
    July 3, 2019 at 10:23 am

    How does she convince these men to marry her and then turn them into pawns to keep her “business” alive and her “fame” intact? Someone explain this… it’s definitely not her good looks… I guess crazy is usually good in bed though, right?

    Pray for Metro.

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      July 3, 2019 at 12:21 pm

      Maybe it has something to do with chrome and a tailpipe.

      • Batman
        July 3, 2019 at 5:22 pm

        Hate to be that guy but it’s a trailer hitch not a tailpipe. But yeah that’s probably how she gets em. Skank.

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    July 3, 2019 at 5:48 am

    I hate to say I told you so.

    But – called it!!

    Back on the original Failure Swift blog I commented that this bint was totally off her head. She was my favourite for ratchet madness, but the voters didn’t agree with me.

    She will romp it next year, the vile, insane, gelatinous, thieving, predatory, litigious sea-cow.

    Poor, fucking Metro.

    • Natasha
      July 3, 2019 at 10:25 am

      It so fun to watch her slowly implode.

      I 100 emoji agree she should have gone farther in Rachet Madness.

      • dowen0895
        Dick Scratcher
        July 3, 2019 at 10:39 am

        She is beyond help.

        In other thoughts, we need to petition Facebook for an actual Newport100 emoji. 🙂

    • Big Wick
      July 3, 2019 at 12:19 pm

      That’s some collection of colorful adjectives for the lovely endangered manatee. I know you’ve nothing to worry about, being across the pond, but the Swift Failure most assuredly would care to sue you for deformation and hurting her feelz. I can almost sense your trembling… with laughter!
      Got any good limerick for this train wreck?

      • dowen0895
        Dick Scratcher
        July 4, 2019 at 3:02 am

        There will be a limerick about Failure the next time she gets a blog.

        It needs to be a masterpiece to reflect upon the magnitude of the impact she has here. 🙂

        • Big Wick
          July 4, 2019 at 6:19 pm

          Thank you! I’ll await it with patience. I have faith that it will be as memorable as ol’ Kathryn deserves.
          In the meantime, I’ll be following the continuing saga of the marathon cheat Dr. Frank Meza on the “World Famous” Message Boards. (A couple months’ worth of escalating train wreck.)

          • dowen0895
            Dick Scratcher
            July 5, 2019 at 4:36 am

            I hear the cheating cunt has topped himself by chucking himself in a river.

          • dowen0895
            Dick Scratcher
            July 5, 2019 at 5:29 am

            Just catching up on the cheating cunt Dr Frank.

            Makes Maude the Fraud look like an honest and trustworthy character.

            “The Los Angeles Police Department responded to a report of a body lying in shallow water shortly before 10am.” – not the first time his body has been discovered lying.

  • A business owner and entrepreneur
    July 3, 2019 at 12:26 am

    The FDA has a place you can report her claims. If she doesn’t have FDA approval for what’s she’s selling, she’s outta business.

  • Jeff J
    KC Narcisi's Delusional Grandeur
    July 2, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    My products can stave off cancer, I have fans all over the world, I’m pretty, my teeth Don’t look like they could gnaw a hole in the side of your house, I’m CEO of 6 successful online companies and I marry men for love not money.
    Ahhhh the gift that keeps on giving.

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      July 3, 2019 at 8:02 am

      You forgot – “Men keep adding me on Facebook because I’m so gorgeous and I’m also personal friends with and make Facebook statuses on behalf of Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus.”

      Stark, staring, totally-tonto, barking mad.

  • z
    July 2, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    I hear-tell that the main ingredient is feces.
    So, when you buy it and it doesn’t work, you’ll say
    “What is this shit?!?!?”
    and you will have said the answer without realizing it.

    “What is this??!?”

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    July 2, 2019 at 8:38 pm

    People think she’s yummy? She’s got fucking Billy Bob teeth, she’s cross-eyed, and has weight issues.

    • Kim Wescott
      July 3, 2019 at 5:19 pm

      What makes you eve that all kinds of men are hitting her up on FB? Especially the ‘pigs?’

      And even if they have only been dating a few weeks, she’s in a committed relationship, yo. Yup, a wonderful relationship with her next victim.

      This chick is truly delusional. May God help every person who crosses her path.

      Especially Metro.

  • Ray Patriarca
    Gina Raimondo's lost thought process
    July 2, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    Two guesses on how she votes? First one doesn’t count.
    The mental illness might be a dead giveaway.
    Any takers?

  • Cute Chick
    July 2, 2019 at 6:49 pm

    Maude in 20 years…

    • Natasha
      July 3, 2019 at 10:26 am

      Comment gold. Bravo.

  • Dick Lips
    July 2, 2019 at 6:08 pm

    Finally!! I needed me some over priced Face book cancer causing cold cream. Disability/Fame/Free shit here I come!!!

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    July 2, 2019 at 5:47 pm

    The beautiful and empowered Kathryn does not deserve to be called yummy and other pig comments on her pages. They clearly must be from right-wing Trump supporters. #StopTheHate.

    • Michelle Olson
      MoJo Nixon
      July 7, 2019 at 9:13 am

      First off, I am 100% certain that no one ever called her “yummy“ as she is the furthest thing away from that. Not sure where you came up with beautiful nor empowered to describe such a disgraceful waste of air. Hopefully all of her pill popping of Quisimia comes to light soon. I can’t wait for the team at DDP to find this out. She’s a fraud. She’s money hungry begging piece of shit that is quite delusional.

  • TL;DR
    July 2, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    She should open up a pot dispensary with her products because we all know how effective it is at curing lupus, scurvy, and mineral herpes.

    choke on uncooked macaroni elbows you slag.

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