Mainstream Media Fails

Fake List Of 10 Worst Places To Live In Massachusetts Is The Worst Ripoff Of Turtleboy Sports To Date

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So some website called “” apparently did a blog about the 10 biggest dumps in Massachusetts, because copying Turtleboy Sports is all the rage right now for unoriginal hack websites. We did the only story you need to read on this topic a few months back when we gave you the REAL list of the 21 towns and cities in Massachusetts that are bigger dumps than Worcester.

Basically the difference between our original story and their rip off is two things:

  1. They developed some sort of mathematical equation to come up with their list.
  2. They didn’t actually go to any of these places. Turtleboy Sports did.

You can learn about where a T-Bone steak comes from by reading about it, but I’d rather stick my head up the cow’s ass and see it myself. That’s just how we roll at TBS. I don’t give a shit what kind of formula you have – nothing beats seeing it in person. To judge how crappy a town or city is, you MUST go there and see the carnage for yourself in all of it’s glorious splendor. You can read about how crappy Athol or Brockton are by analyzing their depressing employment rates and crumbling schools, but until you see this sign on someone’s front lawn

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or a bunch of dudes chilling on appliances at high noon

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you will never really understand.

Their crappy list didn’t even have ANY of our top 3 in their top 10. Any list of crapholes in Massachusetts that doesn’t include Lawrence, Holyoke, or Chelsea simply cannot be taken seriously. I mean, Gardner was #3. The chair city isn’t exactly Beverly Hills, but it’s surrounded by crapholes like Winchendon and Athol that put it to shame. Here’s what their list looked like:

Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 12.08.37 AM

New Bedford? Get the fuck out of my face with New Bedford. That place is an overgrown extension of Dartmouth. It’s not even half bad. And North Adams? We went up to that part of the state to check it out and discovered that it’s neighbor to the south – Adams – is a million times crappier. They just arrested a terrorist in Adams yesterday, so suck on that. Hell, take a trip down Route 2 to Charlemont or Colrain if you want a real show.

Taunton’s been in the news a lot lately because everyone there is getting shot. But come on man, get out of my face with Taunton. Taunton is the Haverhill of the South Shore. Not so good, not so bad.

At least they had Southbridge (in the exact same spot we had them), Fitchburg, Athol, Brockton, and Ware on this list. Those are at least legit. But Fall River is way too high, crappy as it may be. And they had Wareham ranked 11th. Fucking WAREHAM!! Cape Cod Jr was ranked crappier than Lawrence – a place where dreams go to die.

This just proves once again that Turtleboy Sports is the ONLY blog that matters on the Internet. Everyone else is irrelevant.

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6 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    July 18, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    I still don’t understand how Webster isn’t higher on either list.

  • thibby
    July 16, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    living in southbridge is like being in a third world nation… please fuckin call sally struthers…..

  • Clive's not racist, just ask him.
    July 16, 2015 at 6:02 am

    Can we get a list of the top 20 worst hippies in central mass? It needs mathematical equations (ie graphs depicting how much white privilege they have in correlation to the use of key words like “institutional racism”) and social media examples of how fucking crazy they are.

  • July 16, 2015 at 4:52 am

    Next you’ll have a non story claiming you invented local pizza reviews

    • GoneWest
      July 16, 2015 at 9:33 am

      Nick you’re saltier than Little Caesars

  • Coco
    July 15, 2015 at 11:54 pm

    My top 3…
    1. Lawrence
    2. West Lawrence
    3. South Lawrence
    The place is an absolute shit hole! I’m pretty down on the Woo these days but compared to Lawrence, Worecster is like Disney World!

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