WTF

Fall River Mayor Jassiel “Lapdance” Correia Accidentally Posts His Tinder Account (Despite Having GF) While Accusing Concerned Citizen Of Hacking His Facebook Page

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Last month Fall River Mayor Jasiel Correia was arrested by the feds for defrauding investors out of hundreds of thousands of dollars on a stupid app that he invested no money into, and then blew all their money on strip clubs, whores, and fancy suits.

But because he’s Port-a-geez in Fall River none of this matters. He has not resigned from his seat as Mayor, and claims he will be found not guilty. This, despite the fact that there is damning evidence against him, including receipts and witnesses, plus the fact that the feds aren’t going to arrest the Mayor of Fall River unless they’re damn sure they can get a conviction. He does this because all you have to do to get ahead in Fall River is be Port-a-geez, pretend that Fall River is “on the rise,” and promise people you’ll give them free shit. Then his followers showed up to a “press conference” to yell at reporters who asked him perfectly valid questions about where all the money went, and why he wasn’t resigning as Mayor.

Well, the good people of the Riv started a recall petition last week, which apparently Mayor Lapdance thought was funny, so he tossed up some LOL emojis.

For a guy who almost certainly will be going to federal prison for a long time, he sure is cocky.

But wait, it gets better.

When a citizen saw the sitting indicted Mayor laughing on a newspaper’s Facebook page about a petition to recall him for corruption, they expressed their disbelief. Naturally Mayor Lapdance then blamed the individual for hacking his Facebook account and posting the laughing emojis using his name.

Except the “evidence” Mayor Lapdance posted made him look like an even bigger douchequeef.

Oops!! He accidentally revealed that he has a Tinder account while attempting to accuse a concerned citizen of hacking his Facebook page!! Don’t tell his girlfriend Jenny Fernandes with an s.

Of course she doesn’t want him to get recalled. Look at all the nice things he can buy her when he uses the Mayor’s office to promise investors city contracts in exchange for bribes, and that he never delivers on.

Can’t say I blame him, she’s a real junior smokeshow. I don’t normally swim in the lady’s pond but in her case I’d give her a scissoring to remember! Meow!!

Hope they allow conjugal visits in federal prison!!

She’s probably not gonna be too happy when she sees that he’s been offering up his spam javelin to strange women on Tinder. Don’t worry though, he’ll just accuse us of hacking his screenshots and tell her has to get back to work for the people of Fall River. Because that’s what you do when you’re a pathological liar and a con-artist. She seems stupid enough to believe it.

Wonder if her brother Peter will still have Jasiel’s back once he finds out that Mayor Lapdance has been dicking around with other chicks on Tinder?

Meanwhile Mayor Lapdance’s old man has been urging people not to recall his criminal son while attacking the 18 year old kid who has been leading the charge on the recall for being too young.

Keep in mind, this guy became famous for being the youngest mayor in the State. Irony goes way above these people’s heads.

Then Dad started calling the kid a loser:

Then this fake pastor showed up:

And also started calling the kid a “looser” for being a concerned and engaged citizen.

Evidently this kid’s uncle is planning on running for the seat, which Mayor Lapdance ironically has because the guy before him was recalled after Mayor Lapdance accused him of pulling a gun on him in a limo, which he was likely lying about as well. Naturally Mayor Lapdance is now accusing him of smoking crack.

He’s so composed on social media. I can’t imagine him putting up laughing emojis without being hacked.

Anyway, I really can’t wait to see how this all plays out. It’s only a matter of time until he goes to jail, but I’m enjoying all the fireworks that come along with it as the most corrupt politician in America attempts to prove that you can get away with literally ANYTHING in Fall River if you’re Port-a-geez. That however will be put to the test once poor Jenny inevitably reads this blog. Whatever you do, DO NOT share it on her Facebook page!!

26 Comment(s)
  • HairyClamChowda
    December 11, 2018 at 8:25 pm

    She definitely takes it in the bum bum.

  • Little man
    November 20, 2018 at 12:06 pm

    She is bigger than him. Blow me

  • Shut your whore mouth
    November 20, 2018 at 10:16 am

    Y’all realize she’s the sales manager at a jewelry store in charge of promoting engagement rings and watches they get in stock, right….

  • Didler
    November 20, 2018 at 8:15 am

    Jenny must have a fondness of little boys. She is probably a pedofile to be. Change your boyfriends diaper often?

  • Girlie Mayor
    November 20, 2018 at 8:02 am

    Jenny is a gold digger. Why else would she be with that twirp porch a geese fag. His face just makes me want to punch it in.

  • Yuck
    November 20, 2018 at 7:33 am

    Goddamn, his girl got some damn fine titties!

  • ThisIsMySarcasticTone
    November 19, 2018 at 9:12 pm

    Politicians need to never earn more than minimum wage. This isn’t a job, it’s a fucking joke. Why do the people who do so fucking little in this country make so damned much? Why do we reward laziness with money? In hopes that their laziness will also fuel the shit economy? Possibly. Forgive my conspiring but… well it’s what I do to be honest.

  • Wade Boggs Taint
    November 19, 2018 at 9:12 pm

    I like this kid. He’s got balls as big as churchbell.

  • suckittrebek
    November 19, 2018 at 8:07 pm

    Massachusetts is such a fuckin joke. working, savin that dough cant wait to get the fuck outta this giant scam of a state. I mean maybe there’s no normal people left in this country but imma find a spot where I at least have space away from all these welfare\heroin addict losers and crazy cat ladies.

  • Clitty Litter
    November 19, 2018 at 7:42 pm

    They look like they share the same make-up bag.

  • Native Americano
    November 19, 2018 at 7:30 pm

    Fucking Potugees here for 70 years still no speakee English.GTFO.

  • Chahlie Fakahb
    November 19, 2018 at 7:27 pm

    Big supporter. Went to the time. Yeah I know kinda weird for a Republican to attend fundraiser for a crooked Democrat, but you know I AM bipartisan so fuck you.
    My son will not be going to prison so oh well these days you can fuck everyone over and avoid prison or even probation. Look at my good friend “unindicted co conspirator “ Leo. No consequences baby! Billion dollar surplus and NO TAX REFUNDS BABY! Fuck you!

  • Brian
    November 19, 2018 at 6:22 pm

    He’s not Portuguese you racist fucking twat.

    • Linda
      November 19, 2018 at 7:08 pm

      He’s clearly Asian. Stop with the Portagee stuff.

  • Mayor McCheese
    November 19, 2018 at 4:36 pm

    Is this city in the United States? Holy shit is that city a mess. Build a wall around that.

  • Avenatti
    November 19, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    She has to be believed at all costs except when it is me. Then the rump swabs at CNN and MessNBC forget about the pound me too bowel movement. She hit me first do I pounded her. end of story. Now if my name were Kavanaugh and I wasnt a sleazebag the media would say hang em high by his balls and I am ok with that. I got Stormy to drain da pipes

  • Rockets Redglare
    November 19, 2018 at 4:04 pm

    He’s got teeth like he should be knawing bark off a tree…

    • Mayor Zika Head
      November 19, 2018 at 7:14 pm

      Another result of my illness. Luckily my Mariska Hargitay lool-a-like girlfriend likes me to use them to naw on her biscuit.

  • Pay for My Pussy
    November 19, 2018 at 3:51 pm

    I wonder how long little miss ‘you have to pay for my pussy’ hangs around after he’s busted

    I’m guessing not long at all

    • Stormy Daniels
      November 19, 2018 at 4:28 pm

      Till The next fella wit a fat wallet shows up DUH

  • Manuel
    November 19, 2018 at 3:50 pm

    Did you have to make half this column an indictment of Portuguese immigrants, who at 80 years old would run a circle around you even after three glasses of wine?

    • Captain Trips
      November 19, 2018 at 3:58 pm

      I have to agree. I know some decent hard working Portuguese people.

      • Lazy Scum
        November 21, 2018 at 8:07 am

        No such thing. Decent & hardworking portageese = Unicorn

    • You're a tool
      November 19, 2018 at 4:22 pm

      “Did you have to make half this column an indictment of Portuguese immigrants, who at 80 years old would run a circle around you even after three glasses of wine?”

      Portuguese people should disown you after a douchebag comment like that.

  • Captain Trips
    November 19, 2018 at 3:40 pm

    She’s wearing a men’s Rolex Datejust in the first pic. His I’m sure….

    “You’re going to pray to me boy, and you best pray good!” – Hillbillie from Deliverance and future cellmate of his

  • Latino Heritage Month
    November 19, 2018 at 3:34 pm

    Check his immigration status. There is no way anyone named “Jasiel” was born in this country.

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