Hoodrat Heroes

Fall River Oxysaurus Gets Denied Pills By Doctors, Threatens Internet Lawsuits, Claims She Has “Lupas,” Parasites, Fibromyalgia, Burst Ulcers, And “A Ton Of Other Stuff”

"I Am Turtleboy" now available on Amazon

Have a tip for a story? Email us at [email protected]

Follow us on Twitter by clicking here

Follow us on Instagram by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever Facebook page to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There’s never a shortage of Turtleboy material coming out of the Riv:

So let me get this straight fam. This oxysaurus, whose temperature and blood pressure are perfectly normal, just had “multiple ulcers ruptured,” along with PARASITES and a ton of other life threatening stuff. Because apparently she just came from Mumbai with a bad case of ringworms. She saw a “specialist” who “begged” her to “go get something for her pain,” but all Healthfirst gave her was tylenol. Then she began to scream for doctor in Boston because had she not done so she would have died. Now she will commence with the Internet lawsuit. And we know just the man to call……

Oh yea, this story checks out.

Many people began to point out the image she posted seems to indicate that she’s perfectly fine, and several parts of her story were just downright not believable:

Sixteen months of being untreated for parasites? They should be paying rent at this point! My favorite part is how she ended that post with “making my fibromyalgia up.” Couldn’t have put it better myself.

She kept adding onto the diseases too…..

Oh good, she’s got “lupas” as well. Just throw it on the vicatin pile. She knows her diseases so well that she can’t even spell them correctly. She’s also lost 100 pounds (likely because those parasites are treating her body like the Tin Tin Buffet) and 10 different ulcers have ruptured inside her stomach. This totally does NOT reek of pill seeking behavior.

And as she pointed out, she’s totally NOT a junkbox. She just used to be a few months ago:

So the coast is clear now. People who announce that they’re clean on Facebook for cheap likes almost never relapse. Ever.

Does this look like a woman who would fabricate and/or exaggerate an illness so she could get some oxycotin 80’s?

Nope, I totally trust her.

And if those pictures don’t convince you her totally clean voice and excessive use of dog filters will certainly clear any doubts you have that she’s telling the truth.

As you can see, she’s working her way up to the top of a pyramid scheme. She’s just having trouble getting started.

Oh yea, I wanna sign up for this woman’s facial products.

She seems like she knows her way around a facial.

Just don’t call it a pyramid scheme, because it’s totally not a pyramid scheme:

She’s not just a salesman, she’s also a client.

Actually she’s only a client, because salesmen make actual sales. Clients have garages full of inventory they were told would be easy to sell.

From the looks of her Facebook page this pill seeking behavior and outright anger when she doesn’t get a prescription seems to be a pattern as well…..

She might be on death’s doorstep, but it sure as hell isn’t stopping her from getting tatted up by a Durfee dropout who hasn’t figured out how to draw in a straight line.

Guarantee this chick casually drops “HIPPA laws” casually into conversations like she knows what she’s talking about. They always do.

The bottom line is that people like this make it harder for people who actually need prescription pain meds to get it. Too many people abuse this shit, and then when they can’t afford the pills and get over their fear of needles, they move onto heroin. Just ask Chris Herren. So good for Healthfirst and everyone else who has denied this woman the drugs she so desperately craves.

18 Comment(s)
  • reggie
    February 16, 2018 at 12:16 am

    the jews who write for turtleboy sports are a disgrace to jews everywhere. these turtlboy jews are so filled with hate.

  • Bearded Clam
    February 14, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    What a beak on this broad

    DAMN

  • Finn
    February 14, 2018 at 4:43 pm

    “holding water.. 10 ulcers ruptured, along with PARASITES” — a litany of stomach churning problems…

    Is it just me – or is this Desk Girl’s long lost sister?

  • LocalYokel
    February 14, 2018 at 3:47 pm

    Consider that in the history of medicine, pain has never been listed as a cause of death.

  • Bill
    February 14, 2018 at 3:35 pm

    I love these stories. All these people that just plain suck at life. I love it. If there is one thing to not suck at its life. This woman has already lost the game of life. Its over. She may have peaked in elementary school. Not sure. But just keep losing because even though my taxes pay for you to breath air it makes me wining at life that much easier.

    • Free
      February 15, 2018 at 6:11 am

      Air is free Bill. Nobody pays taxes for that just saying

  • Didi DelGhetto
    February 14, 2018 at 1:53 pm

    Happy V day to Faith Furtado!!

  • Mediocrity
    February 14, 2018 at 1:30 pm

    A few years ago, I was prescribed oxy for horrific pain after a procedure. I only took them at night so I could sleep; couldn’t take that crap during the day and function. How anyone can WANT to take oxy and feel that way every, single day is beyond me.

    • Bill Wilson
      February 15, 2018 at 1:42 am

      Try smashing up two 80s and hoovering them in one sitting, bang 1/2 up the right, 1/2 up the left. There is no more euphoric rush than that, 160mgs of the Kentucky Dragon rushing through the brain. Holy fuck was the rush incredible. I experienced no greater rush, neither sex nor 150 mph could come close. Luckily been off booze, boppers, and the peruvian headache for almost 15 years now. But I can remember and know how it grabs. The shyt disease gets tossed around allot, yeah it was a choice, but tell yah, was hard as fuck to stop. Body just cringed for more. Guess I must have been one of the strong, sweated for christ almost 2 weeks, didnt sleep hardly, and hated everything and everyone around me. Anyways, why I dont to involved in the disease argument, it was tough. My kids meant more though, none have seen this parent high or drunk ever!

  • vicxh
    February 14, 2018 at 1:10 pm

    I would not have Faith in her ….

  • Hugh Jass
    February 14, 2018 at 1:02 pm

    Wait, isn’t that the commenter who calls himself “White Cop” in those pics? Snicker…

    • White Cop
      February 14, 2018 at 1:22 pm

      Me? Don’t be silly, you deviant twisted unnatural fucking homo waste of air. I’m not the nigger in the picture. The working term is “white”.

      Hey, the Fens can be kind of dangerous. You shouldn’t walk around Park Drive alone.

      Snicker.

  • Osiris
    February 14, 2018 at 12:57 pm

    This woman has a five head. She should sell the space above her eyes for advertising, walking billboard.

  • Goose
    February 14, 2018 at 12:49 pm

    Fuck this woman. I was recently diagnosed with lupus, and I’ve come to realize that every other fupa sloth, dependapotamus, and douchefucker will claim to have it. 

    While it’s hard to tell from looks as to whether or not someone has it (unless they’re having a flare-up and get that annoying fucking butterfly rash on their face) and this woman certainly may actually have it- a few things make me suspicious. 

    First off, if you can’t even spell the issue you have, you’re probably full of shit. Secondly, unless she’s just listing all of her symptoms for sympathy, most of those are chronic issues that are also symptomatic of Lupus in some people. Most people just say “I have lupus.” Not; “Ohhhhh gosh my joints ache constantly, my immune system is shit, I get ulcers easily, I have a Vitamin D deficiency constantly, I get this stupid fucking butterfly rash, etc etc.”

    Lastly, if she really had lupus, she would know she is not *ever* going to get prescription pain meds for it (especially in what I’m guessing to be an ER) except in very special circumstances.

    Those circumstances being:

    You have a PC and you know each other well/have been seeing said PC for a while. You’re having an exceptionally bad week, have tried every other non-narcotic pain med. You’ve taken opioids in the past with zero issues.

    The *one* time I broke down enough to see my doctor because of a flare-up (something I’m betting she does every other week) my doctor had noooo problem writing me a small script of painkillers.

    Lastly. No one gives a fuck lady, stop posting stupid fucking shit to your FB. The world will, I assure you, continue spinning even if it’s not aware of your pyramid scheme antics. Also, it’s beyond embarrassing to see you posting your vitals like they’re poor. They’re perfectly fine. B/P and HR are a bit high, but I’ll chalk that up to you being a hippopotamus-erectus.

    • LocalYokel
      February 14, 2018 at 3:49 pm

      Mr Pap had lupus and that’s why he could smoke a bong pipe in shop class. That’s what he said anyhow.

    • Finn
      February 14, 2018 at 4:34 pm

      Ugh – so sorry for Lupus diagnosis. I hear it’s pretty debilitating, so I hope you’re getting the
      very best treatment.

      I was about to write, “I don’t wish this on anyone.” – but that’s a lie. I wish it on this woman for posting her (normal vitals), lying about her self diagnosis, and being a general twat.

      She’s a professional victim and that won’t go away soon (or ever). That’s what separates her from people who are actually struggling. I have someone very close to me at the end stages of cancer (ugly fucking disease), and one of her biggest fears is that people will find out she is sick on Facebook. She is such a proud person, she doesn’t want anyone to know or feel sorry for her – all the way to the end.

      Fondly,
      Finn

      • Bloggerman Green
        February 14, 2018 at 6:15 pm

        Sorry to hear of your friend Finn. Hopeshe finds comfort in the her remaining time. May bust your balls here and there, lol, but Turtles stick together.
        The Felchman

  • Well, No Shit
    February 14, 2018 at 12:20 pm

    Another opioid addict. Splendid. 

    I think that she’s confused. She doesn’t HAVE parasites; she IS a parasite. 

    Just. Fucking. Die. 

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It