Hoodrat Heroes

Fall River Rat Trap Queen Encourages Teenage Daughter’s Jr. Hoodbooger Streetside Beat Down In Shining Display Of Responsible Parenting

On today’s episode of “Growing up River Rat”, we have this beloved childhood memory memorialized on film, from New Bedford Live:




Who doesn’t have found memories of beating the brakes off bitches in front of an auto parts store while mom shouts out words of encouragement like the Section 8 version of Mickey Goldmill?


Before finally executing her specialty finishing move, The “A&B on a minor wig snatch”.


And then sternly marching off with her litter of crotch fruit in tow to purchase some celebratory ice cream sandwiches on EBT.

This is the pinnacle of Fall River parenting. Forget teaching your daughter how to cook, or garden, or even drive – these are not skills you need in the Rivah. Teach her how to drag a trick by the hair. The solid foundation upon which every model citizen is built. Clearly. This one is turning out to be a well-spoken and intelligent young line, brimming with self respect and class.


Naturally, Junior Miss Mayhem didn’t take too kindly to the title of “Hoodrat” being appointed to her mother/boxing coach and quickly went ALL CAPS NO PUNCTUATION #freemuhma all up in hurr.

Sorry, homegirl, but we found your mama. And the results say she is, in fact a hoodrat. And you’re well on your way, too, thanks in great part to her stellar influence.



I don’t know what else you’d expect to spring from the loins of this level of velociratchet, however. This is the face of a woman who refers to her monthly foodstamp allotment as part of what she “makes”, regularly tells her kids that their daddies aren’t shit, and meets all of her boyfriends over at Narcotics Anonymous meetings. FACKS.



Anyway, it is the official position of Turtleboy Sports that a parents job is to love, nurture and teach children important like skills like non-violent conflict resolution and how to properly spell the word “you”, instead of approaching the job like it’s the WWE.



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46 Comment(s)
  • ncfoothillbilly
    May 29, 2019 at 5:59 pm

    Mustachioed wymmins are so hot

    when you set them ablaze…

  • bob
    May 28, 2019 at 11:59 am

    Eye brows buy Laundry Marker Inc. Bresticles by Air-Soft, cologne by Fish Pier Inc. New Beige, Assachusetts. It doesn’t get any better than this…….or does it?

    May 28, 2019 at 10:55 am

    Is it too much to ask for the filmer to cross the street?

  • Whitey
    May 28, 2019 at 6:55 am

    I don’t know if anyone else noticed this but mom tagged her daughter along with two other people in a Facebook post about roadkill being ready for dinner, if you look you see that two names are in black letters which means that those people are friends with mom, yet Gigi is not in bold which means mommy doesn’t have access to her page. Sorry don’t give a rats ass who likes it, if my child doesn’t want their parents on their Facebook it makes you wonder what they have to hide. I bet moms old dicks mesg her daughter now. Imagine all that she don’t know about, and probably doesn’t even care. She is more worried about having those sharpie marker eyebrows. Be a damn parent

  • Fall River Rat
    May 27, 2019 at 8:10 pm

    She’s doing the best she can do. Holding down a full-time job and raising kids ain’t easy. Please lighten up y’all. Who am I kidding? Ratchet Skank #2

  • Torah! Torah! Torah!
    May 27, 2019 at 5:07 pm

    In her defence, she didn’t make any Duckfaces. But I wouldn’t take her to a tonight she’s so freaking disgusting.

    • Bsin5
      May 27, 2019 at 7:08 pm

      Fall River Bonnie Rotten and Ana Bell Peaks

  • Rod Rammer
    May 27, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    Jesus. I’d stove the fartbox in on both of ’em.

  • sterlingsilva
    May 27, 2019 at 10:17 am

    oh my those jugs, I can almost disregard the man face. almost.

  • Walley Clever
    May 27, 2019 at 10:05 am

    That, would make a freight train take a dirt road it is soooo freakin ugly. I smell a smell a fish stank when I saw her photo.

  • S
    May 27, 2019 at 9:56 am

    You can do better, 2nd rate story. You didn’t even post google trophies, slacking.

    • Walley Clever
      May 27, 2019 at 10:09 am

      Sorry, I got so veclempt after seeing that photo I lost my place and sanity when I typed the last post. Now its off to the eye doctor.

  • I see Dumb people... And I will never change my name i shitpost under because dumb people are EVERYWHERE
    May 27, 2019 at 9:47 am

    I just can not wrap my brain arpund how these parents think its ok to encourage and watch on the sidelines as your child is in a street fight!!! Be a responsible parent quit buying so much henny and put your baby in a fucking sport or if you absolutely are hell bent on watching them fight find them a karate dojo.. Atleadt then they will have proper coaches for handling altercations and any good karate dojo will teach your child that using your fusts in self defense is a last resort and only to be used if your life is in danger.. You can however even go the extra mile and sign them up for touraments where once they are of high enough rank in thier training they can start sparing with other students.. Fucking ratchets those poor kids never had a chance with these cunts as parents

  • Mom’s Basement
    May 27, 2019 at 9:25 am

    When the Wizard of Fall River enters at the :30 mark I was hoping that it was going to turn into a battle for middle earth but it turns out she was just there as a spectator.

  • Tim
    May 27, 2019 at 9:19 am

    That’s a dude!

  • Well, No Shit
    May 27, 2019 at 8:58 am

    Ahhh. If ratchetry had a face.

  • Dick GoZinya
    May 27, 2019 at 7:41 am

    Tammy Faye Baker has a Portagee doppelganger…

  • Chuck Schumer's non-existent balls
    May 27, 2019 at 7:40 am

    Jesus H. Fucking Christ !!
    There isn’t enough booze available in Fall River to drink this skank beautiful…or even remotely fuckable!
    She’s a verified
    d “two bagger” ( wear a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks).
    I don’t care how big her fun bags are. Wouldn’t. Couldn’t. Ever.

  • Wash your face!
    May 27, 2019 at 7:21 am

    A bit of advise for mom, put the make up down! I wonder if she uses a frosting knife to apply it and sharpie for those fkn brows lmfao!!! When she wakes up her face is on the pillow! She tries to be a ten but is 4, anyone who needs to wear this makeup is most likely ugly as hell, and the makeup is not helping either. Typical fall river chick, spend money for a rack, and what ever is left gets spent on crack. People know your mama.. this is nothing new for her. That and spreading those cellulite thighs ass up face down. Belly ass and thighs bounce and flap but the rock titties don’t move. Nasty hoe

  • Stunt Penis
    May 27, 2019 at 5:47 am

    that’s one fugly bitch.

    my penis just shriveled up and fell off

  • Dick Scratcher
    May 27, 2019 at 4:35 am

    Ratchet as fuck.

    Fantastic tits, though.

    • Silicone is gross. Home grown is much better.
      May 27, 2019 at 7:26 am

      Anyone who pays taxes paid for em!

      • Dick Scratcher
        May 27, 2019 at 9:56 am

        Then we should all get to see them for free.

        • Silicone is gross, home grown is much better!
          May 27, 2019 at 11:12 am

          I agree, seeing how classy she is, I’m willing to bet there are plenty floating around.

  • ninja turtleboy
    May 27, 2019 at 4:00 am

    love the lit cigarette next to her little girls hair

  • Jon O'Neill
    May 27, 2019 at 1:14 am

    nothing to see here. typical. the mother looks like brett’s girl.

  • Groucho Marx
    May 26, 2019 at 11:40 pm

    Those eyebrows are ridiculous.

    And the secret word is “hood rat”

  • Crotch Fruit Hater
    May 26, 2019 at 11:36 pm

    CROTCH FRUIT!!!!! Do not be afraid to punch kids in the face. CROTCH FRUIT!!!!!!!

  • Jeffrey Dahmer
    May 26, 2019 at 11:23 pm

    Liking those eyebrows baby! After I decipher your last long gone baby daddy tattoo on your breast I would like to take your nose ring and tether a chain on it and hang you by it until the last drop of liquid leaves your body and then take the dried husk of your corpse and grind and fertilise next years crops with it.

    And the same for your latest homeboy

    Sound good?

    Useless pieces of cows shit that you are…….

    • Stop selling on east main
      November 17, 2019 at 1:34 am

      Her man Yugi is a cocaine dealer.
      So I guess she wouldn’t be shit w/o her man’s drug money.

  • Wondering for a Friend
    May 26, 2019 at 11:04 pm

    Did our tax dollars pay for those tits?

    • Mr. Bubba
      May 26, 2019 at 11:41 pm

      I hope not. Them thangs be lookin’ quite sloppy.

    • Brows like a shit skid
      May 27, 2019 at 7:33 am

      They sure did.. lol couldn’t even get em done right.

  • Mr. DOLAN
    May 26, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    In my esteemed humble opinion, she should get the mother of the year award. What would you do? What would she do?

    • Mrs Dolan
      May 27, 2019 at 7:19 am

      We have a daughter?

      • Nick Dolan
        May 27, 2019 at 9:55 am

        Surely you remember my little sis? We all abused her quite regularly.

      • Mr. DOLAN
        May 27, 2019 at 5:25 pm

        Yes and I think she is hot with big tits. She will provide entertainment inbetween periods during tonights playoff game.

  • The Name Game
    May 26, 2019 at 10:53 pm

    Lauriane Berry looks UDDERLY fantastic in that white bikini, fallin’ out all over. Those eyebrows, THOSE EYEBROWS, though… DAYUM! A tat-tat here and a tat-tat there, wrist-a-tat, arm-a-tat, every ratchet’s tit tat. Hey Bristol, I think you mean “velociratchet.” I get it.

    • Conan The Anal Grammarian
      May 27, 2019 at 2:43 am

      Utterly NOT udderly

      • Elsie the Cow
        May 27, 2019 at 3:37 am

        Fucking idiot. Buy yourself a thesaurus.

        • Stupid Slut
          May 27, 2019 at 10:12 pm

          Dumb cunt that wouldnt be in a thesaurus. You filthy whore.

      • conan swallows
        May 27, 2019 at 7:09 am

        duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh he’s using the term to liken the cumdumps titties to the udders of a cow you dumbass spooge guzzler. asshole

        • Dumb Fuck
          May 27, 2019 at 10:14 pm

          Shitstain he is referencing your cum guzzling aids infected ass.

      • Derp
        May 27, 2019 at 7:19 am

        For such an expert grammarian, Conan doesn’t know what a pun is.

        • Blonan
          May 27, 2019 at 9:30 pm

          What kind of jackass fails to see the pun in Udderly?

  • Concerned Citizen
    May 26, 2019 at 10:31 pm

    Are you aware you have Telegram and Gazette Ads on your Page?

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