Nudniks Sports

Fat Bastard Andrew Rector Who Fell Asleep At Yankees Red Sox Game Is Suing MLB, John Kruk For Bullying

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One New York Yankees fan hopes that suing for snoozing will work out in his favor.

Andrew Rector, 26, was caught taking a serious nap during an April 13 “Sunday Night Baseball” game against the Boston Red Sox at Yankee Stadium. The ESPN cameras didn’t let him get away with it, either, shining the spotlight on Rector, who was slumped in his seat during the fourth inning of the close game.

Now, Rector has filed a defamation suit, claiming he was called “fatty, unintelligent and stupid” by commentators. He is suing Major League Baseball Advanced Media, ESPN New York, the New York Yankees and ESPN announcers Dan Shulman and John Kruk in Bronx County Supreme Court, seeking $10 million in damages for defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress, Courthouse News reported.

The lawsuit alleges that Rector endured an “unending verbal crusade against the napping plaintiff” from the ESPN announcers as they “unleashed avalanche of disparaging words against the person of and concerning the plaintiff.”

Rector is suing MLB for posting video of the incident on and subjecting him to harsh comments from viewers. Rector claims his reputation was damaged by Internet comments that portrayed him as “a fatty cow that need two seats at all time,” “a confused disgusted and socially bankrupt individual” and “a confused individual that neither understands nor knows anything about history and the meaning of rivalry between Red Sox and New York Yankee.”


Is that C.C. Sabathia sitting next to sleeping beauty? He appears to be licking his fingers, most likely because it’s covered in powdered sugar from the fried dough. I believe this is what the Yankees call “rehab.”

In this guy’s defense this game was probably held on “Dress like your favorite all time Yankee” night, and he was being Don Zimmer. What? Too soon? Fine, he was being Thurman Munson then.

Look, I feel this guy’s pain. Baseball can be brutal to sit through, particularly games involving the Red Sox and Yankees. You pound 12-15 Keystone Lights in that little league field next to Yankees Stadium, get all fired up for some baseball, and the next thing you know you’re watching Derek Jeter step out of the batter’s box right before the next pitch is delivered. Exciting stuff. And if they ever put the camera on David Wells during an off day they would likely see the same exact picture.

You think this was the only dooshnozzle that was passed out during this game? Of course not. He’s just the most hilarious on account of he’s a fat bastard and he’s drooling on himself. It’s too funny NOT to put on TV really. I sooo want this to go to court. If this guy can’t make it through a baseball game how is he gonna hold up in court? Watching John Kruk getting called to the witness stand to recreate this fat bastard drooling on himself would be a million times more entertaining then any Red Sox-Yankees game you will ever see.

In all seriousness though, this guy represents everything that is wrong with both America and Yankees fan. When this fat waste of space is awake he’s probably reminding everyone of the “27 rings bro!!” As if his fat ass had anything to do with it. Because if you look at this guy, how can you not think “dooshnozzle?”

robertrector-1He is like the culmination of every Yankees fan I’ve ever met ever.

He is what people in the rest of the world think of when they think of America. He’s fat. He drinks too much. He smells (probably). And instead of holding himself accountable for falling asleep at a Red Sox-Yankees game he goes and hires a lawyer to sue MLB for doing nothing but putting him on camera? What the fuck did John Kruk do wrong? He said that ballgame is “not the place you come to sleep.” God forbid. What exactly was he supposed to say? “That fat bastard is asleep but it’s not his fault. Baseball is obviously too boring.”?

And newsflash – John Kruk didn’t portray you as “a fatty cow that need two seats at all time.” Your lawyer did fat boy. Because that’s what you looked like. You’re a fat guy who apparently is at the baseball game by himself, passed out after stuffing your face with nachos and $11 Bud Light’s.

Look, I can’t stand people who don’t understand how the fucking internet works. It’s really simple. Once you’re on there you lose all rights to complain when people say mean shit about you. Because that’s what happens on the internet. I’d say 98% of the internet is people saying mean things about other people. That’s why it exists. You know how many times I’ve heard, “Hey Turtleboy, are you violating that magical turtle? Turtle fucker!!” You don’t see me suing anyone.

Or how about when every time we put the stupid things people say on Facebook or Twitter on this blog? Waaaaa, waaaa, waaaaaaa. That’s all I hear. “Turtleboy is bullying these people for the stupid things they put on the internet.” It’s the fucking internet. It no longer belongs to you once you’re on there.

When you go to a baseball game, fall asleep and drool on yourself, there’s a good chance you’re going to end up on the internet. MLB and John Kruk weren’t making fun of you. Everyone else was. Don’t want to be an internet meme? Don’t go to Sunday Night Baseball games if you can’t stay awake passed the fourth inning.

Someone needs to tell this guy that the case of Costanza vs. U.S. Open settled this issue a long time ago:


So I understand why the lawyer is taking the case. Lawyers want your money. But the only lawyer who actually thinks they can win a case like this one is this guy:


Better call Saul? Even he would tell you that he’ll take your money but there’s no way he can possibly win this case.

Oh yea, and is his lawyer really a lawyer? Because based on what he wrote in this complaint he’s never passed the bar in any state he’s ever stepped in. As a matter of fact he’s never passed by any bar he’s ever seen. Like check this out from the complaint:

Screen Shot 2014-07-07 at 5.25.14 PM

OK, sign number one that this lawsuit is going nowhere – this guy’s lawyer is illiterate. Sign number two is that the lawyer, Valentine Okwara, doesn’t have a website. Looked all over for this guy on the internet and could only find one Linkedin account. It appears as if he may or may not be a Nigerian lawyer operating in New York. If so, this lawsuit is right up his alley. Basically he’s taking this fat bastard’s money and filing poorly worded lawsuits like this.

I mean, “The rivalry game between the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankee is always the biggest in all of sport”? That’s an actual phrase from a real complaint written by a real lawyer.

He wasn’t done:

Screen Shot 2014-07-07 at 5.51.20 PM

I can’t help but respect this guy’s complete disregard for all things punctuation, spelling, and grammar. You think just because he’s a lawyer he puts periods at the end of his sentences or puts a space between the numbers and the the first word of the sentences? Nope. Zero fucks given by Valentine Okwara. “Nothing triggered all these assertions only that the plaintiff briefly slept off while watching the great game something or circumstance any one can easily found them self.” Huh? Wait…..what? A person who graduated from law school wrote that sentence. Phenomenal.

I’m not gonna pretend that Turtleboy Sports isn’t riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. But I’m also a 13 year old boy on a Turtle. I never even passed 8th grade. This guy went to law school, so we can hold him to a slightly higher standard. Then he threw this one in there at the end.

Screen Shot 2014-07-07 at 5.57.11 PM

M L B. Com? So let me get this straight. At the end of this complaint he decided to throw in the complaint that MLB is implying that the fat bastard is also homosexual? Is that what this is saying? Because that sounds like an allegation that’s definitely gonna go somewhere in court.

Look, I’m gonna come out and say it right now. I believe this ENTIRE THING is fake. It’s all a hoax. Why can’t I find the lawyer online? Shouldn’t he be in a database somewhere? It’s fucking 2014 people!! I should be able to find anything I want to about anyone with the click of a mouse. If you’re a real lawyer then links should come up with previous cases, and at the very least your name should come up for the law firm you work for.

But it’s not. Because it’s a fake lawyer. So when this whole thing turns out to be a hoax tomorrow remember you heard it hear first – Turtleboy Sports.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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31 Comment(s)
  • grizzles
    July 16, 2014 at 9:55 pm

    if it were really the bar association, why wasn’t it capitalized the first time but the second it was, and seeing as him saying you’re bias, admitting his mind is already made up, isn’t that biased? figured a “judge” would be smarter. and doesn’t count for judging duties by the way.

    • Skinny Bastard
      July 16, 2014 at 10:12 pm

      You’re a bigger asshole than Turtle-Face
      really stupid logic, — uppercase or lowercase makes it or not
      Ha ha ha LOL

      Oh, Turtle-pussy, from your reply to me, below,
      you’re actually getting negative publicity from this
      so enjoy the brief rise in web hits
      and when people see you’re an asshole, it will all stop, suddenly.

      • DUDE
        July 17, 2014 at 12:07 pm

        There’s no such thing as bad publicity. Welcome to Hollywood.

      • July 17, 2014 at 2:00 pm

        Probably just keep on blogging. Beep beep!! Turtleboy revolution coming!! Jump on board for hot takes!!

  • July 16, 2014 at 3:49 pm

    I can’t believe that one of our lawyers is using such inflammatory language such as calling this person a “Fat Bastard” and making every one of his statements on this site about this guys weight.

    I’d say your license is now in question, and if you ever come before me, to decide if you keep it, I already made my decision.

    Your bias regarding this incident is outrageous, and is way beyond what an attorney should be in public.
    I can see you’re a small minded person, with only hatred to vomit-out onto a public forum.

    Totally un-professional.

    • July 16, 2014 at 3:55 pm

      Hey dumbass, I am not a lawyer. I assume you mistakingly came to the conclusion that I am Michael Erlich because of the link to his Facebook page. But rest assured he has nothing to do with this page, he’s a lawyer that many around here would highly recommend. But hey, way to jump to conclusions and make a complete ass out of yourself. I’m glad to know that the doofuses running the Massachusetts Bar Association are such dumbasses.

      • July 16, 2014 at 4:16 pm

        Nice try, but no cigar.

        You’re hiding behind this site, to “protect” you from your statements.
        “ wasn’t me judge, …someone was using my name on that bad site..”
        I’ve heard it all before.

        We’re watching you, now..!

        • July 16, 2014 at 5:26 pm

          Right. I’m sure a judge leaves comments like this on random blogs they come along. Good one “your honor.”

          I get your jive. You’re a turtleboy hater, likely sent from Gish Jen or 98.5 to try to coerce me into revealing my real name. Better luck next time judgey boy.

          • Skinny Bastard
            July 16, 2014 at 5:49 pm

            Hey Turtle-Face
            Even if you’re not this lawyer guy, EVERYTHING this judge said about YOU in his/her first post is still true, of YOU
            A small minded asshole with just hate to post on a public forum
            Ha Ha, you’ve proved them right

            I tend to think you are this ass lawyer
            You sound like an asshole lawyer

            You also sound very paranoid
            A radio station is after you

    • July 16, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      By the way, thank you for redirecting all this traffic towards the blog. This is great for my SEO and page views. Helps me drive up ad revenue!! You get 10%. Where do I send the check?

      • Skinny Bastard
        July 16, 2014 at 10:20 pm

        Hey readers
        You heard him
        He likes this
        Just stay OFF this site.
        Don’t come back
        and he’ll go bankrupt
        and die!

        Works for me

        Bye Turtle-Pussy’s

        • July 17, 2014 at 2:01 pm

          You realize every time you click on my blogs and leave a comment I win right? Turtleboy so in your head right now it’s not even funny.

  • July 11, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    The best thing about all of this is that this fat-ass phuckstick is going to get shafted by this “lawyer” and that now, because of his juvenile behavior in throwing his temper-tantrum over this, HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of people, AROUND THE WORLD, now know all about his idiot, lazy, fat ass, falling asleep and being called out by announcers at a NY ball game! I would have NEVER known anything about this. And neither would most people, had he just manned-up, grew a pair and let it go. But NOOOOOO! He had to make a big stink and now EVERYONE knows about his irrelevance and his idiocy! THAT IS THE BEST THING EVER, RIGHT THERE! THANKS FAT BOY FOR CREATING YOUR OWN PUBLICITY TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT EVEN MORE THAN YOU ALREADY ARE! LMMFAO! And to understand Baby Huey a little bit better — here’s the quote from his mommy — Hana, regarding the “lawsuit”:

    “It should send the message that idiots need to stay out of people’s business and not make fun of people who are harmless,” she said. And THERE ya go. Now you know why Baby Huey is the moron he is today!

  • ron jeremy
    July 9, 2014 at 3:49 am

    Sparky Lyle is a dirty fucking shitdick, fuck you and that fat mother fucking piece of shit Rector, you’re both garbage!

  • ron jeremy
    July 9, 2014 at 3:30 am

    i hope this fat fuck hangs himself! Fuck him, Fuck his skanky mother, Fuck the Yankees, Fuck NY, and… FUCK BASEBALL!!! Baseball is for faggots!!!!

  • mike
    July 8, 2014 at 9:46 am

    hahahaha this guy just wants 10 mil worth of hot dogs

  • Sparky Lyle
    July 8, 2014 at 2:36 am

    Actually, who is a bigger turd, an overweight guy with a stupid lawyer or the giant douche who makes fun of him. The lawsuit is funny. The guys weight and your overreaction to it is not. I suppose it was very funny to you and your drunken pals at some urine scented Beantown drinking establishment when you were giving each other handies in the bathroom. Maybe your pals Aaron Hernandez and Jared Remy thought it was funny, no one else does.

    • July 8, 2014 at 7:02 am

      You must be fat because everyone knows fat people are hilarious.

    • Wabbitt
      July 8, 2014 at 8:24 pm

      If you were playing “Find the Yankees Fan”… there he is. Right up there. If you were playing “Find the Internet Activist”, please move along, as he made no reference to fat shaming or white privilege.

    • ron jeremy
      July 9, 2014 at 3:43 am

      Wow, this fucking fudge packer sure schooled everybody here! Go fuck yourself Faggy Lyle! Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!!!

  • July 7, 2014 at 10:08 pm

    Legitimate attorney?? He was admitted in 2013, and went to law school at the University of Buckingham, which appears to be in the UK. All I can say is WOW!

    • Wabbitt
      July 8, 2014 at 8:26 pm

      Are you saying they don’t speak and write English in England? Because that’s the only explanation for this grammatical abortion of a legal filing.

  • Dan
    July 7, 2014 at 9:41 pm

    I hope that fat cunt dies of cancer.

    • Skinnybastard
      July 7, 2014 at 9:53 pm

      You’re an ASS, and should be wiped

  • Weedlord Bonerhitler
    July 7, 2014 at 7:29 pm
    • Skinnybastard
      July 7, 2014 at 9:58 pm

      This guy has a legitimate case.
      He’s NOT a public figure, and should not have had such comments made about him.

      If they just showed him sleeping, without all the other comments, it would have been way different, having the viewing audience make their own comments, but to transmit such trash about him on national and world TV, …he has a very good case, and I hope he wins.

      • DAVE
        July 8, 2014 at 3:04 pm

        If you watch the telecast, they didn’t say anything that the transcript claims they said.

      • Wabbitt
        July 8, 2014 at 8:28 pm

        All they said on TV was that he was sleeping, asked if he was comfortable, asked if the guy next to him was his buddy, and asked how he could sleep through 50,000 people screaming after a home run. Literally none of the things alleged in the complaint were said.

        • Joey G
          July 17, 2014 at 4:30 pm

          Soooo… are you saying that this person is not, indeed, a fat bastard?

          • Wabbitt
            July 22, 2014 at 5:51 pm

            Oh, he IS a fat sack of Yankee loving shit. But the announcers didn’t say it.

            They should have, but they didn’t.

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