WTF

Fitchburg Bike Fight During Lonsjo Classic Is The Most Fitchburg Think You’ll Ever See

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Everyone from Massachusetts knows that Fitchburg is a dump. But the ONE good thing they have going for them every year is the Lonsjo Classic, a 50 mile bike race that finishes in the Burg. But of course this is Fitchburg we’re talking about, so naturally this had to happen:

Everyone’s all up in arms at the guy who did the punching, and I don’t get it. I mean, he had to spend his whole Sunday in Fitchburg. You’d be pissed too. Remember that poor moose who had the misfortune of getting lost in Fitchburg a few months back?

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Yea, that right there is the face of a Moose who realized he was better off getting eaten by a bear. He’s thinking, I survived winter for this? To get lost in Fitchburg? FML.

Besides that though, you ride to win the race. I don’t know what that guy did to end up getting punched in the face, but chances are he probably had it coming. You don’t just up and punch someone in the face in the middle of a bike race for no reason. And we started watching that right in the middle of it.

I don’t get why so many people are so up in arms about this. I mean, every other day there’s some bench clearing brawl in baseball. Every hockey game you go to players are knocking each other’s teeth out. MMA is literally organized savagery. This is why we watch sports – for moments just like this. I think it’s spectacular for cycling, and if it happened more often I’d go to more bike races.

Personally, I think the puncher is getting a bad name. Things get intense in a Fitchburg bike race, it’s just a way of life.

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8 Comment(s)
  • oneopinion
    Hanginpossum
    July 1, 2015 at 7:49 pm

    Bicycle sports that don’t incorporate huge ramps or crazy downhill slopes are boring to watch. I have no idea how Lance sold so many of those yellow bracelets. If the guy swinging plays his cards right he could make this sport watchable and get sponsored by TapouT or The Marines. I know that I want to punch every grown man that makes me cross the double yellow in my car because he’d rather gossip with his buddy than ride single file on the open road. Trading a little paint out on the course just might garner a little respect for the boys in spandex.

    • fitchburger
      July 2, 2015 at 9:22 am

      You’re right. It is a pretty big burden for you to turn your wheel slightly to the left and slightly back to the right again.

  • John
    July 1, 2015 at 7:13 pm

    try proofreading

  • Fitchburg-shuffle
    July 1, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    That’s how we roll!

  • Strata
    July 1, 2015 at 5:20 pm

    This isn’t about Fitchburg, it’s about a despicable act by an out of control person. We can only speculate why he acted the way he did. But I love the fact that this will follow him forever on the internet.

  • Maggie the Cat
    July 1, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    You can bet there’s money involved somewhere.

  • Non Sequitor
    July 1, 2015 at 4:10 pm

    The dudes from Princeton. THAT tells you a lot. He’s hitting a guy on the ground who can’t get up to kick this Princeton Pansy’s ass.

  • RSoxGuy
    July 1, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    Cowards. Some team mate just standing there watchin his buddy egt beat. Then Slippery Sam skids into the picture to put his hand on the guy’s hip to stop him. FUCK THAT. Assault a team mate of mine you are getting a clothes line from hell to the face.

    That panzy deserved an ass whippin.

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