Hoodrat Heroes

Fitchburg Fertility Fupas Throw Down At Car Wash, Block Car From Leaving, Then Run Dude Over On John Fitch Highway 


Some local ghetto raptors at the Fitchburg Car Wash got into a disagreement over the weekend and handled their differences the only way they know how in Fitchburg – with hair pulling, dick measuring, and a dude being run over by a car.

The dispute began as a couple spunk donkeys were pulling each other’s hair with some poor dude trying in vain to keep them apart.

It was quickly broken up as the tattooed hogbeast walked away in triumph.

As you can see she wore her favorite sports bra out that night so the men folk can stare at her glorious fupa with the hopes of feeding her enough Henny that she ends up going with one of the lucky ones.

But she was far from the only slam clam who wanted her licks at the other chick, as a woman who of course was barefoot at the car wash attempted to get to her too.

Finally she was able to get into her car which was summarily blocked, so naturally then she tried running over these Fitchburg speed bumps.

Just another night at the car wash for the mesh shorts mafia.

Not sure what’s higher – the national debt, or the total amount of child support owed from people who appeared in that video. Gotta be close.

The driver finally made her getaway but hardo in the green shirt wanted to make his feelings known by punching the front of her car.

That will show her!

Unfortunately another guy who attempted to give her a Fitchburg goodbye ended up getting his ass run over.

Although the guy who got run over disputes that he was involved and said he made it to work the next day.

In fairness, if you hang out at the Fitchburg Car Wash on a Friday night there’s at least a 40% chance you’re gonna get accidentally run over by a chick who just fought a bunch of bitches inside the car wash. That’s just science.

Then these grown men shook their fists and competed to see who was the biggest hardo on the John Fitch Highway that night by yelling at a car that they’d never see again.

So what was this all over anyway?

One of the gestation genies was evidently pregnant so naturally she got into a fight and all hell broke loose. Same time next week.


Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


70 Comment(s)
  • micksmercantile
    Wastefield Bartender
    August 13, 2020 at 10:50 am

    **clutching my pearls with highest pitch yelling Karen I can muster**

    “This is terrible!!! BLM, Silence is Violence. I’m sure if we gave them more SSI, EBT, Welfare, section 8, free education, free transportation, free iPhones, free iPad’s, free laptops, free Jordan’s, more money for each child they birth, free childcare….all of this Friday night imitation of the Outsiders would end!!! They just need our support and reparations!”
    If you support BLM reread that, slowly. Try and get your pea sized brain to comprehend just how fucking ridiculous your support of terrorist groups like BLM really is.

    • Snowflake Hunter
      August 13, 2020 at 11:04 am

      Oh boy did you hit that one out of the park. I haven’t heard a more concise and perfect sounding “liberal Karen” except for a real Karen in my life!! If that doesn’t make them all look in the mirror NOTHING will. I honestly wish the enablers would just crawl back under their rocks!

    • umm
      September 27, 2020 at 1:13 pm

      What does this have to do with BLM ?
      I see a bunch of people that need to find something better to do on a Friday night than to be fighting in a car wash, maybe watching some movies with the babies ( idk)
      This however, has nothing to do with people in authority taking someone’s life who wasn’t posing as a threat. Just sayin.

  • Juan Tubangu
    August 12, 2020 at 2:11 pm

    I wonder if all those people were late for work the next day. I guess not. My trash was picked up in the morning.

  • Dave Lind
    August 12, 2020 at 9:29 am

    If Mambo Drink on Water St was open, this wouldn’t have happened at a car wash.

  • Wetbacks and a carwash...coincidence?
    August 12, 2020 at 9:19 am

    By the looks of this group there must be a family shelter close by. They can no longer hangout at the carwash. The big question here is where will they go next? Be on the lookout frantic middle-aged warehouse workers and baby mamas looking for a hangout. Some people go da club and some go da carwash

  • bill fleming
    August 12, 2020 at 8:47 am

    I rather watch the Fitchburg Fists than the Foxboro phonies preaching social justice

  • Spider Lips13
    Spider Lips
    August 12, 2020 at 8:44 am

    The United States of Puertominica.

    How many fucking people does it take to wash 1 car or do they all do the wipe down dry there?

  • Jen Vacca
    August 12, 2020 at 1:32 am

    That tattood hog beast was me

  • Ray Patriarca
    Lord Gort
    August 12, 2020 at 12:24 am

    Ain’t diversity grand??
    Fucking savages !

  • Blm hey or do they.Im confused.
    August 11, 2020 at 8:58 pm

    They wonder why black on black shootings happen.Didnt you all say fuck the police.Wonder why you gonna have so many unsloved murders in the hood you low life bitchs.None of our people gonna give a fuck about your murders cuz you didn’t give a fuck about us.Remember that shit assholes.Food for thought low lives.

  • Chip Striker
    August 11, 2020 at 8:56 pm

    Blow up the ghettoes, these animals are domestic terrorists.

  • All lives matter...oops it’s Blm
    August 11, 2020 at 8:52 pm

    As long as it looks like a protest these ratchets don’t count fool.

  • What's Assimilation?
    August 11, 2020 at 8:26 pm

    They don’t understand Generational Welfare and the Democrat Plantation. This shit will never end.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    August 11, 2020 at 7:44 pm

    They’re not sending us their best.

  • Douche bag
    August 11, 2020 at 6:40 pm

    There at the car wash to wash all there dirty little spiggars for free with the left over spray fucking animals

  • dale woodman
    August 11, 2020 at 6:29 pm

    These Folks are exactly why I own Firearms!
    I’m so Glad I have ‘White Privilege’ because I could not live in the Filth these Animals call Home…..

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    August 11, 2020 at 6:20 pm

    Fitchburg speed bumps! LMAO

  • for Ingrish press 2
    August 11, 2020 at 5:47 pm

    and not a word of English was spoken.

  • Captain Trips
    The Beatles
    August 11, 2020 at 5:42 pm

    Being for the benefit of Donald Trump
    Dementia Joe has found a frump to be his running mate…….

    Biden’s family will all be there although Sleepy Joe will have no idea
    of who they are……

    Kamela Harris will then demonstrate
    the proper way to masturbate
    a john for bucks….

    You all best have Benjamins
    or Harris will not let you in her secret spot…..

    Markey’s ice cream truck just may pop on by
    as Markey unzips his fly
    for the little ones….

    Being 4 years of work in preparation
    a splendid victory for Trump
    is guaranteed by all….

    And of course the Democratic horse
    will need to start popping more pills!

  • Gunnery Sgt
    August 11, 2020 at 5:39 pm

    There is a reason Puerto Rico couldn’t get power on for over a year after the hurricane. They are all morons.

    • Judge dread
      August 11, 2020 at 7:32 pm


      If that island wasn’t a colony of the US, it would be just like Haiti. I think PR is excluded from the FBI crime statistics since it’s not a state. If it were included omg it would be bad. The only reason to spend time in PR is for tax shelter reasons.

      The PR parade in Manhattan was bad enough but the Dominicans are worse.

  • whatevuh
    August 11, 2020 at 5:37 pm

    And they wonder why we all hate them?

  • VP Spiro T Cheney
    August 11, 2020 at 5:37 pm

    Can someone reply to my comment with the embedded video of Harris getting her ass handed to her by Tulsi during the debates? Youtube “Tulsi Gabbard torches Kamala Harris on Criminal Justice Reform”

    I’m not a fan of Tulsi however she was totally blackballed by the DNC and her take down of Harris dropped Harris’ approval rating down to less than 1%. Harris being the VP nominee is the kiss of death for the Biden campaign.

    Think about this, if Biden wins, he will step down 6 months later for “health reasons” and Harris will be POTUS… let that sink in for a minute.

  • Dr Wu
    Dr Wu
    August 11, 2020 at 5:27 pm

    As always, just roll them in flour and go for the wet spot. Or- if she’s REALLY hideous- like ALL the heifers in the video- cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

  • VP That Monkey Was Me
    August 11, 2020 at 5:06 pm

    How can an American indian
    Lose out to a black india indian?

    That bannana was for me.

    Our first fried chicken eating president

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    August 11, 2020 at 4:56 pm

    Where’s Car Wash Karen with the mask patrol when you need her?

  • Judge dread
    August 11, 2020 at 4:55 pm

    quote of the day:

    Not sure what’s higher – the national debt, or the total amount of child support owed from people who appeared in that video. Gotta be close.

    Uncle is the man.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    August 11, 2020 at 4:54 pm

    Off topic: Kamela Harris is now Biden’s running mate. If it wasn’t so scary I’d be laughing right now!

    • Judge dread
      August 11, 2020 at 4:58 pm

      Did you hear her on a SoCal talk show saying how she was “cool” in college and smoked weed and listened to Snoop Dog and Tupac?

      Only problem… they weren’t producing music in 1987. She’s a fraud and a liar; she locked up thousands of black people for weed possession and supported the whole 3 strikes you’re in jail for life bullshit.

      • Hooker Harris
        August 12, 2020 at 12:08 am

        Locking up criminals in Cali sounds good. Her being a pot head listening to snoop before he was around sounds like a lie Hillary would tell. Don’t forget she was willy browns on call hooker.

        • Judge dread
          August 12, 2020 at 8:07 am

          the politicians say if your going to lie lie big! just like they did in 1939.

  • a chimp can beat hildabeast
    August 11, 2020 at 4:51 pm

    Monket Jsmsla HRris is presidential pick. Biden will be declared mentslly 8ncompetent Feb 1 2021

  • Guinea Geisha
    August 11, 2020 at 4:45 pm

    Technically, we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before.

  • Kamela Harris
    August 11, 2020 at 4:35 pm

    When I’m President, I’ll make The Dirtyburg will rise again!

    Just like Willie Brown

    • Sleepy Joe Biden
      August 11, 2020 at 4:40 pm

      The budget is a mess. Will you work under the table??

      • Kamela Harris
        August 11, 2020 at 4:42 pm

        I’ll do anything…and I know you won’t remember

  • Confusious
    August 11, 2020 at 4:02 pm

    This is just a smaller version of what we have been witnessing with this dysfunctional world we are living in currently. Maybe doctors should research human behavior during this pandemic.I’m sure they will conclude that the nay-sayers , the I’m invincible, the “you’re not gonna tell me what to doer’s” are the reason that we can’t seem to get a hold on this virus.
    Back to you Putin…….

  • Boston Irish
    Gov Charlie Parker
    August 11, 2020 at 3:07 pm

    Ricans being ricans

  • WeRFucked
    August 11, 2020 at 2:58 pm

    Not one person featured in the blog via the screen captures can write/spell at a 7th grade level.

    We really are fucked. These are adults!

  • Dees nutz
    August 11, 2020 at 2:50 pm

    I’m calling the rat line. nobody had on their masks. FINE EM ALL!!! haha

  • National Debt Here
    August 11, 2020 at 2:44 pm

    “Not sure what’s higher – the national debt, or the total amount of child support owed from people who appeared in that video. Gotta be close.”

    I would argue the real statistic of interest would be the “IQ-to-Debt” ratio. My hunch is that the ratio is about 0.0000000000000000001

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    August 11, 2020 at 2:38 pm

    I don’t get why there is so many goya gulpers at that carwash. Is there an aéropòstal next door?

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      August 11, 2020 at 5:03 pm

      Oh ST you are the commenter of the Gods here. Always excellent!

      • The Spic Tormentor
        Spic Tormentor
        August 11, 2020 at 5:30 pm

        The feeling is mutual

        • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
          Luke Fondleberg
          August 11, 2020 at 11:54 pm

          You two, plus Snarky Pete are the front line of this All-Star Team.

  • North of the Border
    August 11, 2020 at 2:37 pm

    I wish I could say, “Only in Fitchburg!”

    But I know that would be a lie.

  • Done with this shit
    August 11, 2020 at 2:37 pm

    They hang at a car wash? WTF?

    • JoeMomma
      August 11, 2020 at 3:29 pm

      Saturday night is bath night.

  • hartf811
    Filthy Animals
    August 11, 2020 at 2:32 pm

    BLM Carwash night? Bring all of your 3rd owner lease turnin moneypits and get the spit and slime of the hood washed off at $4 a minute. The biggest pimp onthe street is the carwash owner. Making mo’money than the homey selling spleef to get these banana pickers lit.

  • Julius Caesar
    August 11, 2020 at 2:17 pm

    By chance do they like Bengal Tigers?

  • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
    Joseph B.
    August 11, 2020 at 2:16 pm

    The policies of the O’Biden – Bama …. Obama administration have allowed such vibrant displays of culture and pursuit of happiness, granted by the, you know, the thing. I look forward to your vote on Super Thursday.

  • I don't always travel RT 2
    August 11, 2020 at 2:14 pm

    But when I do, I stay the hell on it.

    • WeRFucked
      August 11, 2020 at 3:03 pm

      Safe to exit anywhere east of Shirley. Otherwise fuck that 55 limit…. do 80 to get the fuck out of wherever you are on that road.

  • george costanza
    The angry taint
    August 11, 2020 at 2:10 pm

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah diversity!

  • Barack Obama
    August 11, 2020 at 2:09 pm

    We May Never Know What Happened

  • Somebody send Ice to Fitchburg
    August 11, 2020 at 2:09 pm

    I must be living under a rock .Who the fuck hangs out at a car wash?They clearly all a bunch of low life bitchs .Please Do everybody in surrounding states and towns and keep your loser asses in Fitchburg

  • Gov. Baker
    August 11, 2020 at 2:00 pm

    It’s OK, it was a protest. They don’t need masks in this situation.

  • BillClinton's Stunt Dik
    August 11, 2020 at 1:55 pm


  • Bob
    August 11, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    Feeding time at the zoo looks dangerous!

  • Ernie
    August 11, 2020 at 1:53 pm

    That fupasloth needs to wax her mustache and rinse her undercarriage. Try the Ernie’s Special next time.

  • Jane Goodall
    August 11, 2020 at 1:41 pm

    Fitchburgs canopy has always been very dangerous.

    • Julius Caesar
      August 11, 2020 at 2:31 pm


      the Colosseum is always looking out for the “best-of-the best”. I believe your expertise would be invaluable as part our evaluation process. Any interest?


  • Ace Rothstein
    August 11, 2020 at 1:41 pm

    Coming soon to a town near you if we don’t re-elect DJT.

    • randiguy2006
      August 11, 2020 at 2:52 pm

      I don’t get your logic. Trump is president now and this is happening.

      • Snowflake Hunter
        August 11, 2020 at 8:41 pm

        Huh- President Trump is not the mayor or governor in many other states and towns and cities where this is happening. He’s allowing them all to dig their own graves my friend.

  • Jack Straw from Wichita
    Jack Straw from Wichita
    August 11, 2020 at 1:37 pm

    Fucking savages. I would expect more civilized behavior from a troop of baboons. Of course we’re told that all cultures are equally valuable, and that we need respect Juan Pablo, Ricardo, and Fernando’s cultural differences when they chimp out down at the car wash.

  • Cash Me Outside
    August 11, 2020 at 1:32 pm

    if they washed their children and themselves as frequently as they do their cars, we wouldn’t have a Covid problem.

  • Edgar Winters Tanning Bed
    August 11, 2020 at 1:31 pm

    Fitchburg has been a world class cesspool for decades.

    • Captain Trips
      August 11, 2020 at 4:57 pm

      Sunscreen Frankenstein! Sunscreen!

Comment on this Post


All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It