Pro tip – if you dump a big of your shit along the road in Fitchburg…..
Make sure you get rid of the mail with your name and address on it
Addresses*
But wait, there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for why this human season had her trash dumped along a rural road where the dumper assumed no one would find it….
She paid someone to pick it up, and they dumped it. Don’t you hate when that happens? You have some boxes and crotch fruit memorabilia lying around, and instead of just throwing it in the trash on trash day you hire a company to come by and get rid of it for you, except instead of getting rid of it they throw it along the side of the road and you get blamed for it. It’s the absolute worst.
How do we know she dindu nuffin? Simple – she proclaimed as much on Facebook.
Of course she uses another season for a name on Facebook. If she calls herself Autumn she can have the stripper trifecta.
So who were the mystery friends she paid to dump her shit?
The world will never know. I attempted to ask her myself by commenting on her Facebook page but was blocked within minutes, which is totally what an innocent person would do.
Apparently some of the townsfolk thought it was the job of random people on the Internet to clean up other people’s discarded trash.
“What does complaining about it do?”
Well, it gets them on Turtleboy at the very least. And I would argue that publicly shaming a ratchet like this is a far more effective way at deterring shitty behavior than cleaning up for said ratchet without letting them know about it.
We’re talking about a chick named after multiple seasons who sells bottles of Henny online and her only redeeming skill is the ability to use dog filter.
Something tells me she wasn’t gonna go and pick up that trash if she wasn’t called out for it publicly. Maybe she won’t now either. But the bottom line is she deserved to be dragged like this, and it should happen to people like her more often.
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49 Comment(s)
Ya’ll too young to remember Arlo Guthrie … I found your name on an envelope at the bottom of of 50 foot pile of garbage … you can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant Massacree.. Some women should not be allowed to reproduce … amirite?
Not that it matters, but that’s not Henny, it’s Cocito… coconut booze made by spanish people around christmas time. lol
What are the odds she has created an onlyfans account in the past and is currently trying to rebrand and relaunch?
What do you bet she does dogs and other farm animals?
Casual Observations:
1) She lives in a piece of shit triple decker (avec plywood window dressings) in Fitchburg and subs out her trash removal? Sure.
2) Her FB is littered with the N-word and jumping people in retribution for her little brother. TBH, the entire communities lexicon has deviated too far to be considered English.
3) Her lack of introspection legitimizes pride that her kids are “just like me”
4) Fitchburg is the perfect example of why “The Purge” is a good idea.
If and when a scumbag gets caught throwing trash out ,except in a trash can, they should have all the shit they threw out,shoved, crammed,stuffed In any hole on their body.
what’s the deal with these instagram pics! Have you seen these? Are you a koala bear, or a women ? I mean how low is your self esteem that you prefer a fantasy character w mouse ears above your real face. Get me a bagel w a shmear.
This is quite literally a Leave It To Beaver episode..
RIP Eddie Haskell
AK is finally onto the key issue of our times.
Littering.
Smelly bitch never heard of a shredder.
It would be awesome if someone rifled thru the trash and got enough info to commit identity fraud and charge up a storm.
Filthy stupid bitch.
Her credit score is lower than her IQ.
The lil house is trash too. yuck.
Ato Kamau is one confused coon
She doesn’t look old enough to drive. So going to the Natick Outdoor Store parking lot to dump her trash was out of the question.
Are you sure that’s trash? I thought that pile on the side of the road was Bristol’s hopes and dreams to be successful.
Nice try, UT.
Where is a good pandemic when we need one in Fitchburg?
Not every Captain is obvious.
You got it Captain!
she has 2 kids and dcf has the other 2
The trash taking out the trash, life in Fitch doesn’t get any better than that!
Not the proper use of the word “dindu”. She’s white.
Aye yo, I just made it Winter Rein all over her chin. Then I beat her pussy up
Bro that’s just gross! You should go get your self checked for STDs before you die from them and they list it as a Rona death. Seriously you cant be that desperate?
She’s either missing some chromosomes or she has extra.
Would….NOT!
Those passersby must have eagle vision to have been able to discern between the dumped garbage and the regular Fitchburg landscape.
Piss off. Please send me your address so I can dump the next load on your lawn. You should see the load my boyfriend dumped on me. Matter of fact, most of the neighborhood have dumped loads on my bare lawn. Cause you know grass does not grow on a well worn path.
Our garbage disposals must be awful sad that we never drink any of the delicious smoothies they make for us. Summer’s Eve been onto it for years.
Garbage Genie… Guinea Geisha… i think she’s stealing your shtick, and i don’t like it. even if you are an old man in his underwear, you’re still my baby and Summer is going to be pushing up daisies at a landfill if she doesn’t clean up her act.
Awwwe… so sweet. Rest assured that The Geisha is neither old nor a man nor wearing underwear. I’d like to think I put the ass in classy trash bag though. If turtles should ever gather one day… I hope you’ll be the old man in his underwear that I picture, yelling “I won!!” while masturbating. G’night love.
Who said turtles can’t find real love, see, right here in the middle of a godamm pandemic. Take the girl, leave the cannolis. I now pronounce you Geisha and Silencio, you may kiss the Geisha
Actually this would be a great place for people to find love for not the trash trolls. most tend to share similar views and moral ethics While also being hard working productive members of society.
Most people here already have at least 1 thing in common. That being we all hate ratchet people. I think the dating pool would be for people over 40 here. Does not seem there are many riders here in their early 20’s to mid 30’s. People in my age range tend to be left and immoral.
You guys are so fucking cute. And embarrassing ;). BTW Welcome To Turtle Dates.com… the geisha is under 40. I just like older ninjas. But I appreciate your sentiments.
big wet one, baby (and i’m wearing a mask)
I’mma lift that Kung Flu vail and give you a great big raw dog smooch lover.
She seems to have problems keeping her apartment clean.
I have nightmares about eyebrows like those. Seriously, I am haunted by women’s eyebrows in 2020. Why do they want to look so terrifying??
Best,
Stewart
Well Stewart, it all goes back to your childhood. A fear of clowns and clown eyebrows, also a fear of vintage cabbage patch dolls. Miss Summer RedGreen here has both features. It’s the stuff horror movies are made from. It’s normal Stewart, my advice to you is to drink heavily and ignore all ratchets.
Dr. Kevorkian
I think you spelled Garbage pail kids wrong!
Spot on! If that slob spend as much time doing cardio than on her eyebrows She wouldn’t need the filter
Wow man another good story.
Weren’t you just bragging about the hella good music and current class you did? And yet not one mention of Alice’s Restaurant here.
This blog sucks.
Hey fuck boy,
If you don’t like he blog don’t read it. Have you ever been on the internet before? Also the way the 2nd amendment works is if you don’t like what someone has to say, don’t listen to them.
1st, derr. It’s getting late.
Those Amendments are so confusing.
He’s not going to kiss you.
Another way the first amendment works is if I think something sucks I can say so. Derr.
Yet here you are. Not only reading every story but taking the time out to contribute in the comments.
We thank you for your diligence and your efforts.
Now, off you fuck.
DS
It must have been a great story if you took time out of your day to read and comment. We thank you for supporting Turtle Captain through your clicks for add revenue!
Check please!
She’s a piece of shit. Of course she’s from Fitchburg and ratchet / dindu as fuck.
Everything she knows is wrong.
Her whole life is a lie.
Everything about her is ugly.
That’s not a redeeming skill it’s incriminating.
Ginger Woman your honor, no further questions your honor.