WTF

Flagg Street Elementary Lying Kid Tells Teacher He Saw Clown With Knife, Turns Out To Be Man Mowing Lawn, Principal Leaves Hilarious Voicemail

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Can’t stop laughing at this voicemail left for parents by the Principal of Flagg Street Elementary School:

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!! OK, it’s official. This clown shit is out of control. Seriously, why are we listening to anything that kids say anymore? Kids are clearly dumbasses by nature. They see clowns everywhere because they wanna see clowns everywhere. It’s the cool thing to do. And these clowns ALWAYS seem to have a knife. Funny how that works.

Couldn’t stop laughing when she said, “it was determined that what the student had seen was a man who was mowing his lawn adjacent to the school.” Because some guy mowing his lawn looks a lot like a clown standing in place with a knife. Sure, a lawnmower is extremely loud and the man pushing it was not wearing a red nose, oversized shoes, and parachute pants. But normal kids confuse guys mowing their lawn with killer clowns all the time anyway.

Obviously this kid did not see anything that resembled a clown. He or she just made it up because it’s what’s hot in the streets, and as a result the rest of the kids lost recess. Back in my day that was grounds for a swirley. But seriously, I don’t care how old this kid is, he needs to be suspended. These kids think this shit is funny. But we’re wasting valuable police resources having cops investigate dudes mowing their lawn on Flagg Street. And more importantly, kids are losing recess. That alone is unforgivable.

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21 Comment(s)
  • Dat
    October 10, 2016 at 9:31 pm

    We had clowns back in the day at Belmont st school.
    (the hill behind the school always had a strange reputation)

    At some point the story reached a level that they sent a notice home about
    “the clown” ,

  • At least I'm not from Auburn
    October 7, 2016 at 9:54 pm

    Maybe the kid was on super high alert because of all this bullshit nonsense. It’s got kids terrified, so the fact that this kid is probably SEVEN might have made him THINK he saw a clown. Leave the kid alone. The Principal did nothing more than report to parents exactly what happened. What’s so hysterical about that?

  • October 7, 2016 at 4:29 pm

    NI

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    October 7, 2016 at 3:04 pm

    They won’t suspend kids for fighting – how are they going to do so for lying about killer clowns?

  • Ed Augustus
    October 7, 2016 at 11:43 am

    The only clowns I know are my totally-owned bitches on the city council. They all jump in the clown car when Jimmy McGovern tells them what to do. Did you enjoy their frantic routine to extend my contract, way early, with a pay increase, after my shitty performance? It’s the greatest show on earth!

  • Rich
    October 7, 2016 at 10:40 am

    My question is why are we wasting police resources for clowns? Did heroin suddenly disappear from the streets?

    • Rational person
      October 7, 2016 at 10:46 am

      Well, if there really WAS a clown with a knife in the woods by the school, wouldn’t you want the police to investigate?

  • Publius
    October 7, 2016 at 10:21 am

    My kid does that would result in arse woopin. Recess not to be messed with.

    • The Operator
      October 8, 2016 at 8:04 am

      Yep. Teach the kid that they will get in trouble (or beaten by a psycho parent) if he or she reports a potential danger. Good work.

      • rat
        October 8, 2016 at 2:10 pm

        Publius is a perfect example of one of Hillary’s “Deplorables.”

  • Old, but not confused
    October 7, 2016 at 9:28 am

    And then when these kids become teenagers, they all will think their parents are clowns.

  • Rational person
    October 7, 2016 at 9:18 am

    I’m sure the principal was worried that rumors would spread about a killer clown in the woods next to the school and decided to send that voicemail ASAP to clear up any misinformation. I think that was a smart move.

    And in the VM, she said it was several children who reported seeing a clown, not just one kid.

    This is a non-story, TB.

  • Kristen
    October 7, 2016 at 8:39 am

    Great job to the teacher, you have to act first then investigate. Kudos!

  • HeWhoShallNotBeNamed
    October 7, 2016 at 7:53 am

    2016 has been an awfully strange year. What could make it any stranger?
    Well… now… we have a clown epidemic.

    • Reddog
      October 7, 2016 at 2:52 pm

      No,we have an epidemic of pussys

      • October 8, 2016 at 3:21 pm

        Well this is what I do when my kid gets annoying because I hate annoying as much as you do. We are the same you and me. I just ignore. That’s right ignore the little shit while I comment with the versatility and tenacity of a lawyer. My kid gets hungry? – fuck it. I’m not hungry. I’m good. It’s all about me. I’ll get to that little pain in the ass when I feel like it. First and foremost I need to comment here and get my fan base further established.

        Did you read my comment on the teacher contract article? That was one of my more brilliant (Goggle searches) analysis I have ever posted. I hope I get more positive responses and thank you very much Wwy for sticking up for me. I love you for that. BFF.

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        October 8, 2016 at 3:25 pm

        You are such an asshole WB. You must be Bob. I hate you and wish you would DIE! DIE DIE DIE!

      • Doc
        October 10, 2016 at 3:32 pm

        Thankfully we can elect a leader who doesn’t mind grabbing them.

  • True Reality Speaks
    Mirror Mirror
    October 7, 2016 at 7:21 am

    Kid’s a shoe-in for Democrat rep. in 2040.

  • Jafreese
    October 7, 2016 at 7:05 am

    My 6yr old daughter asked me last night if the clowns are trying to kill people. I told her “No, honey, that shit’s not real, don’t be retarded.”

  • Hugh Beaumont
    October 7, 2016 at 6:46 am

    A this clown talk reminded me that I haven’t watched Killer Klowns From Outer Space in quite some time.

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