Can’t stop laughing at this voicemail left for parents by the Principal of Flagg Street Elementary School:
HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!! OK, it’s official. This clown shit is out of control. Seriously, why are we listening to anything that kids say anymore? Kids are clearly dumbasses by nature. They see clowns everywhere because they wanna see clowns everywhere. It’s the cool thing to do. And these clowns ALWAYS seem to have a knife. Funny how that works.
Couldn’t stop laughing when she said, “it was determined that what the student had seen was a man who was mowing his lawn adjacent to the school.” Because some guy mowing his lawn looks a lot like a clown standing in place with a knife. Sure, a lawnmower is extremely loud and the man pushing it was not wearing a red nose, oversized shoes, and parachute pants. But normal kids confuse guys mowing their lawn with killer clowns all the time anyway.
Obviously this kid did not see anything that resembled a clown. He or she just made it up because it’s what’s hot in the streets, and as a result the rest of the kids lost recess. Back in my day that was grounds for a swirley. But seriously, I don’t care how old this kid is, he needs to be suspended. These kids think this shit is funny. But we’re wasting valuable police resources having cops investigate dudes mowing their lawn on Flagg Street. And more importantly, kids are losing recess. That alone is unforgivable.
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.
Wormtown Brewery, Union Tavern, Bennie’s Cafe, JJM Insurance, Smokestack Urban Barbecue, Smitty’s Tavern, Julio’s Liquors, The Gun Parlor Range, Attorney Anthony Salerno, Rotti Power Equipment in West Boylston