Pro tip – if you’re gonna drive home shitfaced, make sure you don’t live broadcast it on social media so the cops can track you down and arrest you like this idiot from Florida did.
Huffington Post: Drinking and driving don’t mix, but it’s an especially dangerous cocktail when you’re live streaming your wild ride on Periscope. Police in Lakeland, Florida, arrested 23-year-old Whitney Beall Friday night after receiving 911 calls from Periscope viewers reporting that a drunken driver was using the app to broadcast herself, according to . Periscope is an app owned by Twitter that lets people livestream events over social media.
Police said Beall told viewers she was “drunk,” F—ing drunk,” and didn’t know where she was. At one point, she said had a flat tire, according to Fox13.com. Thanks to numerous 911 calls, officers were able to track down her Toyota Corolla.Although Lakeland Police officers are not authorized to use Periscope, one of the officers added the app to his own phone in order to track the suspect, according to. When the officers initiated a traffic stop, Beall hit a curb, according to
“I really hope I don’t get a DUI,” she allegedly said seconds before hitting a sign in the median, a moment captured on video.
When Beall was finally apprehended, officers said she smelled of booze, spoke slowly and had bloodshot, glossy eyes, according to. Police said Beall failed a sobriety test and refused a breath test to determine her blood-alcohol level. The suspect was booked into the Polk County Jail on DUI charges. She was released Saturday on a $500 bond, according to jail records. Beall told WFLA on Monday that she “made a big mistake.”
Florida really is the state that keeps on giving. Here’s the full video of Whitney Beall’s failed adventure home:
I don’t mean to stereotype, but it seems like the vast, vast majority of people born after 1989 just don’t have the same survival skills as everyone else. There’s a million and one ways to beat a DUI, but this idiot just closed all her potential legal loopholes by handing over the most damning evidence possible for the world to see – video evidence. Video evidence that SHE voluntarily showed the world. She didn’t take a breathalyzer test, which always helps. But the problem is she also live broadcasted everything that preceded her getting in the car and proclaiming that she was drunk driving:
I remember my first beer. Good times. Even Tony Salerno and Mike Erlich couldn’t help this poor idiot. This is what happens when you feel the need to broadcast every aspect of your life on the Internet. Thank God this shit wasn’t around when I was growing up.
I’m sure no one actually watched that whole video, since it’s 40 minutes of her babbling on about how drunk she is, and America, and how red lights, and how lost she is. So here’s the only six seconds you need to see in one Vine – her worrying about getting a DUI and then immediately plowing into a sign:
Murica. Someone hook this babe up with the bacon jalapeño mac and cheese kid. Put them in a car together, have them play rock-paper-scissors to see who drives, and then point them towards the ocean and tell them there’s a Wendy’s straight ahead. Darwinism will take care of the rest.