Hoodrat Heroes

Food Stamp Friday: Henry Hoodbooger Looking To Buy $100 Worth Of Stamps For $50 Because He Blew All His Cash On Blunts, Grillz, And Ice 


Ya know what we haven’t done in a while? Food Stamp Friday. Time to bring it back. Today’s winner is Darrian Porter from Sacramento.

As you can see, Darrian Porter is looking to purchase $100 worth of stamps and is willing to spend no more than $50 to get them. My man drives a hard bargain for sure, but he’s slightly under market rate. Everyone knows that you have to be willing to pay between 60-70% face value or dem shitz gonna be gone real quick. Nevertheless, it doesn’t hurt to start with a low bid to see how demand is looking.

Luckily Marie Milk has fired out a poon polyp or two, so she’s got plenty of stamps to spare.

She just has to wait and see if she can get better value on the free market first.

It appears as if my man here is hungry and wants to buy some groceries. But he’s also low on cash because he’s spent it all on more important things needed for hoodbooger survival. The essentials, like blunts

Grills, chains


And a girlfriend who likes the finer things in life and keeps him out of jail.

That’s a food stamp love story if I’ve ever seen it.

Evidently he delved into the unlicensed marijuana business.

But no one wanted his shitty weed cookies so here he is looking for discount groceries and ending up on Turtleboy Sports.

On the bright side, when you have no reportable income it means you don’t have to pay taxes.

Don’t worry, the rest of us will take care of that for you Darrian.

California is arguably the only state in the country that is run worse than Massachusetts and their governor is a walking Ken doll with less personality. Could be an untapped Turtleboy gold mine.



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21 Comment(s)
  • Granite City Electric Boogaloo
    February 17, 2019 at 9:10 am

    Guy looks like Marlon Wayne’s in Don’t be a Menace to South Central While Drinking your Juice in the Hood. What…a…..mess!

  • Captain Trips
    February 16, 2019 at 6:38 pm

    Yeah be man bee, I be needin bee some food stamps a bee

    • Captain Trips
      February 16, 2019 at 6:41 pm

  • Nate Higgers
    February 16, 2019 at 6:33 pm

    Tar monkey.

  • Yaspar Kyashred
    February 16, 2019 at 10:12 am

    Filthy animals. My cat is a more useful creature than this trash.

  • Charles Barkley is Right
    February 16, 2019 at 9:46 am

    If you watch the Emmys or the Iscars you’ll see all these rich actors talking about how blacks are excluded from winning and how oppressed they are. Then you watch this guy and the millions that are like him out there living off of government support. Why don’t they clean up this shit. Instead they embrace it.and the entire ghetto culture. We had a first family who when they were around black people change how they spoke
    I know I’m not the only one who sees this

    • Bill acosby was too. Except for the rape thing
      February 16, 2019 at 11:10 am

      Will Smith and his ugly twat wife are prime examples. Jay Z and his wig wearing ho Beyoncé are another power couple using race to their advantage. We’re not impressed or buying

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    February 16, 2019 at 9:34 am

    Thank Democrats for creating these people through their ‘social support’ programs which completely ignores the tendency of human nature to abuse said programs

  • Chip Striker
    February 16, 2019 at 8:31 am

    This is the number one reason Trump won and will win again.

  • Nope
    February 16, 2019 at 8:19 am

    Was it too difficult to find someone local? There’s plenty of local stuff to blog about and I used to enjoy Food Stamp Friday but how about sticking to MA for your stories

  • whatevuh
    February 16, 2019 at 7:36 am

    Let’s stay in New England, shall we . . . who gives a flying fuck what happens on the west coast

  • DD
    February 16, 2019 at 7:32 am

    Food stamps are EBT debit cards now, so that makes this seem doubtful.

  • WeRFuked
    February 16, 2019 at 7:25 am

    Now TBS is going to be considered racist because it always picks on African-Americans.
    But are they really “American” just because they were born here? America is the USA. Land of the free, home of the brave. Land of opportunity.
    I don’t think America is about gold teeth, selling pot cookies, and buying food stamps at a discount. These are the people I call the N word. Not every black person in this country, because there are plenty of fine upstanding “African-Americans.” But there are one’s like Darrian who just want to be a lowlife. His American dream is that he’s proud of being an able-bodied adult who doesn’t pay taxes. He is the #1 reason for racism. He is the cause. So is his woman. Giving the middle finger in every picture says you are saying “F you” to everyone who looks at it.
    No Darrian. F You. You are everything that is wrong with this country. You are the reason cops beat the crap out of blacks, and why most of the country doesn’t give a shit. You will have a shitty, horrible life, because that is what you chose.

    • Peter Niss
      P. Niss
      February 16, 2019 at 10:31 am

      There are black people don’t act like this. They DO exist BUT they’re RARE in the spotlight. Well adjusted, well to do, productive members of society. They exist. I prefer them over anyone who acts like this guy. It has nothing to do with the color of his skin and everything to do with the type of person he is and how he acts.

  • Hugh Mungous
    February 16, 2019 at 7:24 am

    Can I get me a magnitude 9.8 quake in Cali, followed by a Fukushima sized wave.

    PS. If you can work in a lava filled sink hole for all of Main South in Woo that would be greatly appreciated.

  • John Ramey
    February 16, 2019 at 7:03 am

    These stories are kind of funny, until you look at your paycheck and remember that your actual work is paying for all this. This country is so fucked.

  • Let Me Up, I've Had Enough
    February 16, 2019 at 5:57 am

    California is on the brink of bankruptcy and people are fleeing in droves, thee left destroys everything they touch.

    • ElJefe72
      February 16, 2019 at 3:45 pm

      The problem with all the people fleeing from California is that they move to red states and then begin voting for the same type of politicians who got California in its mess. If or when Texas turns blue, this country is really screwed.

      • Reactionary
        February 16, 2019 at 5:19 pm

        Exactly…migrant Californians have ruined Texas, Colorado and are working on wrecking Idaho and Utah.

        Mass/NY transplants are ruining NH and Maine.

        Someday very soon normal people won’t have anywhere to escape to.

  • Big Wick
    February 15, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    I was gonna dis him for his “… one and only women” comment (ya know, singular vs. plural, for all you ratchet Turtle-haters reading here), until the pic of his Beefy Bunwich with her stink-finger. FINE citizens, these.

  • Peter Niss
    P. Niss
    February 15, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    I already disliked these fuckers. Now that I’m re-employed, I really hate these cocksuckers.

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