Hoodrat Heroes

Former Prisoners Celebrate Stabbing Of Corrections Officer In Shirley Max Because Prison Is Their Home And No One Can “Disrespekt” Them There


Souza-Baranowski maximum security prison in Shirley was locked down yesterday after a CO got stabbed by a prisoner.

You gotta have some big ol’ balls to be a CO, especially in this prison where the worst of the worst wait out their days on the taxpayer’s dime until they stop existing. CO’s walk amongst the most dangerous people in the state with literally nothing to protect themselves aside from their fists. These people have nothing but time on their hands to figure out ways to construct weapons. The unnamed CO was stabbed with a toothbrush covered in razor blades.

Anyway, there was a former guest at Shirley Max who shared his opinions on the matter underneath the story on Fox 25’s Facebook post.

Oh look, he doesn’t use the letter c. He must be a blood. So edgy. By the looks of it Ghetto Goofy also doesn’t use deodorant or Hooked on Phonics.

And you’ll never guess who his favorite sportball club is….

Flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat. The international symbol for “I owe mad child support but I’m buying the new iPhone anyway.”

According to him he was really oppressed back in his prison days.

He also believes that because he lived there for free, it was “our house,” and everyone knows you can’t be letting actual functioning members of society “disrespekt” you in your own house.

I see he didn’t take advantage of the GED program while inside. Probably because in order to get your GED you have to be able to spell GED first. Spelling, and English in general are not his strengths.

I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds important.

He’s really upset because CO’s treat him like an animal.

Newsflash – you are an animal. That’s why you’re in jail in the first place. Because you’re a wild, untamed savage who can’t be trusted not to hurt law abiding people on the outside. You’re almost definitely gonna end up back in your home in the not so distant future, although the fact that you’re out right now certainly seems to suggest that you’re what we on the inside refer to as a “snitch ass bitch.”

He’s quite proud of his life accomplishments.

Carlos FTW. Congrats on the enormity of your life successes Mr. Ckrazy. But at least now that you’re out it gives you the freedom to have special time with friends.

Now that “Stickman” isn’t there to keep him warm at night.

If this face doesn’t scream, “I was Kyle Kennedy’s backup bitch” before Aaron Hernandez killed himself….

Then I don’t know what does.

He wasn’t the only former guest who believed that a law abiding citizen deserved to be stabbed simply for showing up to work.

Imagine being the father of two girls and still writing stuff like that on Facebook? Dude obviously has life by the balls. And as Stephen pointed out, he got out pretty quickly considering he was arrested for robbing, pistol whipping, and shooting a dude over percs.

Almost like he’s a jailhouse snitch too.

Here’s to the CO having a full recovery, and Glen and Ckrazy becoming bunkmates again in the not so distant future.


Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


51 Comment(s)
  • Kim Wescott
    August 30, 2019 at 10:59 pm

    Oh, Turtleboy, I love you and yet sometimes I hate you.

    I love it when you point out the scummiest of the scum that need to be shamed with no mercy….

    And believe it or not, I literally cry reading a story like this showing the utter and total depravity of some of our so-called humans. I just don’t know what to do with my feelings of sorrow and rage at the animals that live among us.

    I’m not asking you to stop reporting. Just letting you know the visceral effect of some of your blogs.

    A loyal rider.

  • JoeMomma
    August 29, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    Just hurry up and OD.

  • Eddie Haskell - LAPD
    August 29, 2019 at 7:20 pm

    Take it from me, asshole mutts like these two are just that…asshole mutts. Even better, I’d be a rich man if i got a penny for every mutt “tough guy” who cried once the bracelets were applied. Pure pussies.

  • don
    August 29, 2019 at 3:33 pm

    this guy needs to get punched in his cocksucker

  • I know himmmmm
    August 29, 2019 at 11:05 am

    Real name is Joseph Poaletta. He lives in the salisbury ma area.

  • Relative of a CO
    August 29, 2019 at 10:37 am

    Here’s hoping they become bunk-mates in the morgue!

  • Dees nutz
    August 29, 2019 at 9:30 am

    Just put him down already…

  • Gash Basher
    August 29, 2019 at 8:45 am

    Paint that dude green and he’s an avatar

  • Silencio Dogood
    August 29, 2019 at 3:00 am

    he wears thick mittens to type, his brain disordered from Amazon and returned unopened, a true child of liberal works. put him through boot camp until he learns to play with others and develops the discipline to be a man.

  • A Screw
    August 29, 2019 at 2:18 am

    This froggy looking, fetal alcohol syndrome punk looks familiar.
    I did time at Souza and a couple of other spots, only difference is I did it 8 hours at a time.
    I guarantee that this one was the type to grumble and mumble trash talk under his breath when he was around any of us.
    If he acted up, it was either with a bunch of his homeboys cheering him on or from behind a locked door. He’s definitely the sucker punch from behind kind of pussy if he ever got physical at all.
    Some cons were stand up and they understood that respect is a two way street but I’m sure this one couldn’t grasp the concept.
    For this puke calling himself “Duh”- I scored high 90’s in any test I took, to include the PD exam.
    In the service I was offered nukes, so I must not be too dumb.
    Like Fred said, wrong pigmentation (and gender) to get picked up. If that wasn’t the case, I’d already be retired from the local PD instead of looking at a few more years in the DOC.

  • Chip Striker
    August 28, 2019 at 11:25 pm

    These tough guy thugs are so tough they can’t even handle everyday life. So tough they have to be separated from society and caged like the animals they are. Nice outfits too, we are all very impressed, you losers really have grabbed life by the balls. You want “respekt”? Start by pulling your pants up, acting and dressing like mature adults and get a fucking job. Learning to spell wouldn’t hurt either.

    Until then, you are just fucking losers.

  • Jack
    August 28, 2019 at 11:02 pm

    What’s up with the fem red slippers he has on? “Dorothy” “Wizard of Oz”?

  • Captain Trips
    We'll Be Waiting
    August 28, 2019 at 10:59 pm

    These tough hip hoppers who can’t handle the real world should be extremely thankful that we are not in charge of the system. Well, not yet, anyway.

    If we were, every one of you felon-fuckers would be already quickly executed and made into fertilizer.

    Laugh at our post if you will. But we are not alone. The day is coming when the system will break down and you all will be ours. We, the armed and ready militia, are sitting by for the day. With 20+ trillion in US deficit, it’s only a matter of time.

    Watch the clock tick motherfuckers. Time is on our side. When the system shits itself we will be visiting all of you. Hope you have said your prayers by then. All of the tough talk and tattoos won’t help you for shit. We have all of your names.

    See you soon.

    • Oh yes...
      August 29, 2019 at 2:25 am

      A purge might be in order.
      Almost time to get rid of the cockroaches.

  • Cim Cardashian
    August 28, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    This guy should be the face of fetal alcohol syndrome.

  • Springfield Armory
    August 28, 2019 at 10:10 pm

    Phrenology is real look at that space in between his eyes.
    China still does executions via firing squad. At least they have that going for them.

  • Paul Casale
    August 28, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    I bet “his boi” braids this mongoloid’s hair.

    • I am DEAD
      August 29, 2019 at 12:05 pm

      God forgive me but…..


  • Frank
    August 28, 2019 at 8:51 pm

    How’s that criminal reform bill working out chuck?

  • eugene
    August 28, 2019 at 8:42 pm

    I’m sure this moron will end up in prison some day soon and the Guards will know about his comments that are posted.Payback will not be fun.

  • Brian Schmider
    August 28, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    Not even an honerable mention?!‍♂️

  • Hi
    August 28, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    I actually know a badass bitch who is a CO at shirley…shes crazy. Dont know how she does it! Hope the CO is ok!

    • Markus Parkus
      August 28, 2019 at 9:03 pm

      Ok Beth, we know this is you

      • Jen Brtan
        August 29, 2019 at 6:00 am

        I too was a CO at a max in Texas. It takes a special kind of women to handle it. Prayers for all the COs stay safe.

        • george costanza
          The angry taint
          August 29, 2019 at 3:36 pm

          drinks? on you of course then maybe later you could shackle me and call me a worthless piece of shit?

  • Cheddah
    August 28, 2019 at 7:56 pm

    Correction Officer is unfortunately the most underrated, thankless, and overlooked/forgotten jobs in law enforcement.. Definitely need big balls, patience, and elephant skin for that job.
    CO’s that work at Souza-Baranowski and Walpole walk ‘’The toughest beat in the State” as the saying goes…

    • Markus
      August 28, 2019 at 9:01 pm

      Ok Beth, we know this is you.

      • epstein barr
        August 30, 2019 at 10:05 pm

        everyone knows by now that corrections officers are all corrupt homosexual sadists. i am very happy that piece of shit corrections officer was stabbed and all corrections officers have been exposed as corrupt thru the jeffy eppstein death

  • Corky
    August 28, 2019 at 7:30 pm

    Dude got an extra chromosome, you could land a 747 between his eyes.

  • Johnnie AirMaxes
    August 28, 2019 at 6:57 pm

    God damn do I love turtle boy sports when I found out there was a blog targeting the most inhumane ratchet lowlife scumbag Chicago Bulls hat wearing losers of society It was like Christmas came early and I was 11 years old again. This smelly Chinese/Spanish looking motherfucker is a father and is proud to say that he spent years “up the max”. I love how this is a blog for public shaming it’s just unfortunate that although some of these people get butt hurt most don’t because they really feel no shame at all. They are the low of the low. Drug dealing EBT collecting Gangbanging Closeted homosexual’s. Seriously how much can you enjoy spending time in a fucking building for years with nothing but men around you. You really must develop a slight taste for penis while in those showers. And you just keep going back for more. Fucking rosary bead tatted air max wearing neck tattoo having ass fagboys. I work 60 hours a week I have a dog and I will own a house someday and will get married to my gorgeous girlfriend. While you’re sniffing your bunkies ball sack Flossing last nights sloppy Joe Out of your teeth with his pube hair. Have fun up the max buddy now go do some push-ups .youre looking like a bottom.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    August 28, 2019 at 6:36 pm

    Dude is an eyebrow plucker and that makes him a rooster sucker. Pull your pants up, punk.

  • Julie the Jarhead
    August 28, 2019 at 6:34 pm

    Real news = what’s happening.

    Fake news = what people are talking about.

    This = the latter.

    • Julie IWasDroppedOnMyHeadTooMuchAsAChild
      August 28, 2019 at 6:41 pm


    • Real News
      August 28, 2019 at 6:52 pm

      Kirsten Cunt Gillabrand just dropped out of the presidential race

    • Real Jarhead
      August 28, 2019 at 6:53 pm

      Get a job Julie and stop blogging all day. How does anyone that wire a uniform turn into such a liberal fool and a know it all

      • ncfoothillbilly
        August 28, 2019 at 7:30 pm

        Everyone knows WMs are the first to fall out of a hump or run, then the admin peeps.

    • MrSmiley
      August 28, 2019 at 8:24 pm

      Yet here you are time after time.

  • Ckrazy Miller
    August 28, 2019 at 6:17 pm

    My lips stuck to cock like CKrazy glue.

  • Shit Be CKrazy Up In Here Yo
    August 28, 2019 at 6:15 pm

    I gave the best blowjobs on the unit. Peeps called me CKrazy Beecher.

  • randiguy2006
    August 28, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    COs are guys too stupid to even pass the dumb police exam.

    • Just Saying
      August 28, 2019 at 6:55 pm

      What respectable career path have you taken professor?

    • Fred Knessl
      August 28, 2019 at 7:26 pm

      I’ve met a dozen or so CO’s over the years. Most are folks who did well on the Physical, Oral and Written parts. What they failed at is Minority status. With names like McDonald, O’Brien, even Parenteau and Ricci there are just no positions open for them.

    • A message for Mr. Duh
      August 30, 2019 at 12:37 am

      You are a lowlife troll cunt.
      Probably got your cheeks split during a shit county bid and now you’re mad because the blue shirts you talked shit to had zero sympathy for you when you got shredded and creampied.
      You’re probably a skinner that kept the activity within your family. Nothin’ says lovin’ like rapin’ a cousin, amiright?

  • His Mom
    August 28, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    Whether he is in prison or on the street our tax dollars pay for his existence. What a piece of shit

  • Joey
    August 28, 2019 at 5:42 pm

    His mum probably drank when pregnant. Fetal alcohol syndrome gives you a face like that, lookin’ like your eyes are running away from eachother. Or he’s part Na’vi.

    • Y
      August 28, 2019 at 6:06 pm

      Beat me to it; he’s definitely a fetal alcohol Avatar!

  • whatevuh
    August 28, 2019 at 5:30 pm

    One good thing is, he has no education, no skills, and no fucking brains, so he’ll fuck up again soon, and be back in prison where he belongs, taking it up the ass a couple times a week. Good riddance, loser.

  • We Have it Wrong
    August 28, 2019 at 5:24 pm

    Incarcerate? I say incinerate

  • brianmorris1976
    Dick Trickle
    August 28, 2019 at 5:16 pm

    This might be the most ratchet article of all time.

    • george costanza
      the angry taint
      August 28, 2019 at 6:38 pm

      Agreed, my IQ was dropping trying to decipher what the fuck he was saying. The N.S.A. should hire him to write code, no one would figure it out.

Comment on this Post


All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It