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Everyone’s buzzing about the father who ran and tried to attack disgraced pedophile US gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar during what seems like day 48 of victim impact statements in Lansing, MI:
— Reuters Top News (@Reuters) February 2, 2018
This is one of the few times I think we can all agree that Sharia Law would be preferable. Larry Nassar would’ve been stoned to death six months ago and saved the taxpayers millions of dollars that will go into trying him, and keeping him alive until he dies in prison.
And before I go on, we haven’t blogged about Larry Nassar yet and I just wanna share something. Obviously we all agree he’s scum of the earth and should never see the light of day again. That’s not exactly a hot take. We could’ve also gone hardo dad and gave the generic Facebook comment about how, “if that was my daughter, he’d be dead by now.” That’s what always happens whenever a child molester story comes up – a bunch of dudes go to the comment section to act hard and talk about what they would’ve done if this happened to their kids.
But what amazed me about this story is how the women’s gymnastic teams won the gold medal in back to back Olympics, despite everything this monster did to them. Think about how crazy that is. Simone Biles, Ally Raisman, Jordan Weber, McKayla Maroney – these are all victims of sexual assault. While they were training and mentally preparing for the Olympics they were groped, fondled, and penetrated. And they still went out there, performed, and set the world on fire. That is just a remarkable aspect of this story that I think is being understated.
Anyway, we all sympathize with this guy. I can’t even imagine the hell his daughters were put through, and how the father likely blames himself for not stopping it. At the same time, Larry Nassar did this to hundreds of girls. When you do something like this you kind of take away from the justice that everyone gets. I’m sure the rest of the victim’s fathers would’ve loved to do this too, but it’s just not the way it works.
Either way, you could tell this was not a stunt. He came there for one reason and one reason alone – to punch Larry Nassar in the face. The back and forth between him and the judge was fantastic:
“I would ask you, as part of the sentencing, to grant me five minutes in a locked room with this demon,” he asked. “Would you give me one minute?”
“That’s not how our legal system works.”
“Well, I’m going to have to,”
Here’s my question – who do SJWs and butthurts hate more – Larry Nassar or Turtleboy? Because I’m pretty sure they’d pick us. They come at us hard, but you never, ever see them going after child molesters. Just sayin.
Anyway, this guy has the most grizzled name ever – Randall Margraves. He wore a IBEW union sweatshirt, blue jeans, and five o’clock shadow to court. That’s the kind of guy whose daughter you don’t diddle if you’re Larry Nassar. It’s like playing with fire – something Randall is probably not afraid of doing either. This is a man who has spent his entire life working with his hands. He’s an electrical worker, and we found a podcast of him talking about the kind of work he’s into:
He likes to use his hands, operating heavy machinery, riding tractors, and farming. Guys like this always get a bunch of daughters and no sons. And they get very attached and protective of their daughters. It’s a deadly combination, and once again, this is the kid of guy whose kids you don’t fuck with.
Randall Margraves is the American dream. He’s not really into book learning, but that hasn’t stopped him from advancing in a field that he’s good at. According to the world wide webs he’s now the VP and secretary for R.M. Electric, INC out of Michigan:
They’ve even got a Facebook page!!
And in the least surprising news ever, a bunch of people have started GoFundMe pages for his legal defense:
I’m sorry, but if you give money to this you’re an idiot. Not because you don’t support what he did, but because there’s no way the money is getting to him. I’m not gonna lie, as soon as I saw people commenting about how they’d like to donate to his defense fund, the first thing I thought was,
“This would be the perfect time to run our first GoFundMe scam.”
Seriously, there’s never been a better time to make easy cash than right now. People are dying to help this guy. And morons obviously don’t care who you are or bother to check you out. They just see a GFM for Randall and donate to it. The guy who runs this GFM lives in Pennsylvania. Ya know what he’s not gonna do? Find Randall Margraves’ phone number, get his PayPal account, and send him the money. Ya know what he’s gonna do with that cash? Pocket it. Ya know who’s gonna find out? Nobody. Because random people on the Internet don’t have to show you receipts.
But alas we did not create the fraudulent GFM because then we’d have to blog about and expose ourselves. Regardless, I can’t think of a better time a “free muh boi” would be in order than right now. Free him!