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GED Express Looking For Stranger On Facebook To Babysit Kids, Cook, And Clean House For $50 A Week, Goes Full Ratchet On People Who Think She Should Pay More

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Posts like this are why we need Turtleboy bloggers from across the country….

Yes, that’s right. They’re looking for complete strangers on a community Facebook page in Kentucky to babysit their twins for the week, cook for them, and clean the house. And they’re willing to pay you…..$50!!!

In other words, they need a slave. Or at least a Russian chick in a box. Because even in Kentucky that seems to be slightly below the minimum wage.

At first I figured this was some kind of joke. Surely no one would trust a stranger they met on Facebook to watch their children all week, if that stranger was willing to work for $50. This is like a pedo invitation. And I’m assuming her CORI background machine is broken. Turns out she’s 100% serious…..

This is my favorite run-on sentence of all time. And I thought New England ratchets were fun. Kentucky is like if Winchendon was granted statehood.

“No one asked for your apponion.”

Now I’m hungry. Apps with onions in them are my favorite! Excuse me while I order an Awesome Blossom!


As apposed to asshalfs and assquarters.

No wonder Kentucky is a breeding ground (literally) for 16 and Pregnant superstars. She’s only 20 years old after all….

That edumucation sure is paying dividends!

Here’s the best part. She posted this on her page (which I’m assuming is suspended because she insists on posting from her baby daddy page now):

Yea guys, she is very particular about who she lets babysit her kids. Meanwhile, are there any strangers on this community yard sale page that wanna go full Mary Poppins for $50 a week?

This of course means that she got pregnant while she was a teenager. Shit happens I suppose. You would think that being illiterate and broke would guide you towards prophylactic wrappers. But evidently her and her spam javelin decided that this would be the ideal time to have a raw dog rowdy down and fire a couple shots out of the baby cannon instead. Don’t worry, they’ll figure out the details on Facebook later.

20 Comment(s)
  • Dear Abby's son
    August 25, 2018 at 8:04 pm

    She’s a cute little thing, even got the tongue ring too. I can easily see her with 4 or 5 more kids by the age of 30. Unless she is really good at giving head and knows how to use that tongue ring. Realistically, she needs to start camming and selling panties and build a clientele and offer up the pussy for good customers. And invest in an iud. I know i would drop a 50 for a pump and dump once a week providing she showed me a clean std test and proof she she’s on bc. That would pay for her child care!

  • post comment
    August 23, 2018 at 11:39 pm

    “No one asked for your apponian…”

    That’s right, because no self-respecting Armenian is watching your kids for $50 a week, either!

  • Kim Un Jong
    August 23, 2018 at 6:21 am

    That’s a whole lot of ignorant wrapped in one nice looking package.

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    August 21, 2018 at 6:27 pm

    Why the fuck are the homies in the pool hanging on like the titanic is sinking? Oh wait nvm answered my own question…..lol

    • Rockets Redglare
      August 22, 2018 at 10:19 am

      You mean the people in the pool with their clothes on? Must be a Kentucky thing….

  • Judge dread
    August 21, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    Notice how in the second picture these two are swapping spit in what seems to be like an apartment pool. Their kids have no floatation devices. If anything happened or these idiots turned their back for one second, one or both of those kids would sink to the bottom of that pool like a rock. Then they would have to find someone who knows child cpr. I bet they don’t know it so it was be a tradidgy.

    • Why
      August 21, 2018 at 6:09 pm

      I’ve never seen 2 sadder looking children in a pool in my life. One looks miserable and the other one has tears in her eyes. Pathetic.

  • IHateRatchets
    August 21, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    She is actually pretty. Especially compared to most of the ratchet bitches on here. Thick as shit though.

  • KimberlyS
    August 21, 2018 at 3:36 pm

    I live in Kentucky. I can attest that the word “apponian” is a correct phonetic spelling. Also, “endurance diapers” are a real thing, especially in the eastern part of the state.

  • MrSmiley
    August 21, 2018 at 2:58 pm

    Fucks sake it’s Kentucky. Like a ground ball on the infield grass.

    • post comment
      August 23, 2018 at 11:41 pm

      What IS an ‘endurance diaper?’

  • ncfoothillbilly
    August 21, 2018 at 2:32 pm

    Facebook, where grammar and punctuation go to die.

  • Hughbo Mont
    August 21, 2018 at 1:45 pm

    Pro tip – don’t have kids if you can’t afford them. Also, don’t get married when you’re 15.

  • Clitty Litter
    August 21, 2018 at 12:31 pm

    Sperm donor looks like Evil Ed from the 80’s Fright Night.
    “You’re so coooool, Brewster”

  • Feel the Bern
    August 21, 2018 at 12:19 pm

    In my appoinion, if Bernie Sanders is elected in 2020 he will provide free childcare courtesy of the wealthiest 75%.

  • itsjustme
    August 21, 2018 at 12:11 pm

    I made $50, or more, 20 years ago when I was a teenager babysitting for couples going out for a date night.

  • z
    August 21, 2018 at 12:08 pm

    $50. Assume 40 hours a week. 2 kids is 62.5 cents an hour per kid.

    That’s what these kids are worth to their parents. 62.5 cents an hour.

    • Henry Fool
      August 23, 2018 at 8:31 am

      Please stop with the math, the story is hard enough to figure…

  • ElJefe72
    August 21, 2018 at 11:46 am

    Who or what is that supposed to be sitting behind her in the last photo?

    • post comment
      August 23, 2018 at 11:43 pm

      Wondered the same thing – is it her husband or her mother?

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