We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible: Wormtown Brewery, Union Tavern, Scavone Plumbing,  Bennie’s Cafe, Craftech Restoration, JJM Insurance, Smokestack Urban Barbecue, Attorney Michael Erlich, H-S Trading Firearms, Smitty’s Tavern, Julio’s Liquors, HomeWarrantyReports.com, The Gun Parlor Range, 3B Auto,  Attorney Anthony Salerno, O’Connor Insurance 24-7, Monster Movers, Firesafe Chimney Services, The Law Office Of Joseph J. Carigila, Skyhook Tree And Sons

Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer. Want to make money real fast? We will pay you cash if you bring us advertisers. 

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Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click the image to get your loved one the 2015 Turtleboy Sports Naughty List Christmas Special for their stocking this Christmas.

Remember the hippie boycott of Turtleboy Sports? It started back in March when Joyce McNickles, Dana Remian, and Chris Roberge started emailing TBS advertisers, harassing them by threatening to stop doing business with them. As if they ever went to any of these places to begin with. Anyway it was a legendary fail. A friend of Turtleboy’s who worked at Bennie’s Cafe annihilated one of the protesters in a scathing return email. And when hippies do stuff like this, we blog about it, because turtle riders are loyal to those who support freedom and truth. As a result Bennie’s was flooded the next day, which seems to be the exact OPPOSITE of what a boycott is supposed to achieve:

Love Turtleboy Nation.

Anyway, we assumed they had given up by now. But apparently they just won’t admit that they lost. This despite the fact that since the “boycott” began in March, our Facebook followers have more than tripled, and we have regular gigs on the radio in eastern, central, and western MA. But yet they INSIST on poking the turtle. Don’t. Poke. The. Turtle. And consequently we are given no choice but to double down our efforts to support the Turtleboy sponsors. Here’s what was posted on Smokestack Urban Barbecue’s Facebook page today:

First of all, that’s a lie. No one would ever stop going to their favorite restaurant because they advertised on a blog. Secondly, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – show me ONE racist thing that has ever been uttered on Turtleboy Sports. Just one. We’ve published over 2,000 blogs, so I’m sure it won’t be hard to find ONE blog with something racist published in it. Because we hear this jive a lot, but no one can ever seem to find any evidence, despite the fact that it’s all readily accessible on the world wide internets.

Here’s another thing Cole Robert. If you’re going to accuse people of being racist, don’t have profile pictures like this:

Ya know, because some people might construe your picture as offensive towards Mexicans. After all, your buddy is stereotyping Mexicans as silly man with boat shoes, knee high socks, and gigantic Pancho Villa hats. Apparently it’s OK for you to caricature an entire race of people. But please, tell me more about how Turtleboy is the racist one.

The name sounded familiar because this particular Turtleboy writer happened to graduate from Doherty High School, and happened to have a teacher named Mr. Robert. He was a real piece of work. So I went to this kid’s Facebook page and saw this:

Yup, there he is. The English teacher from hell. I remember being in his class the day after the 2004 presidential election. George Bush had just pulled off a squeaker against John Kerry, and this guy told the class, “Studies show that people who voted for Kerry are more intelligent than people who voted for Bush. People who voted for Bush are generally uninformed voters.”

I’ll never forget that, because I know that my parents voted for Bush, and here is my English teacher telling me how dumb my parents must be. Screw this guy. Talk about unprofessional. Teachers of course are entitled to their opinions and beliefs, but you don’t have a right to demean students and make fun of their parents just because you consider yourself part of the intellectual elite. You’re paid to teach a specific topic, not indoctrinate a bunch of 16 year olds. If you wanna brainwash kids with your dumbass ideology then go teach at Worcester State.

Now I know where this kid is getting it from. Because clearly he’s too young to actually come up with this garbage on his own. You get taught this type of hate at home. And Turtleboy has no time for hate. All we wanna do is love everyone and spread joy and cold hard truths. And when you do that you upset people like this who go after small business owners trying to make ends meet.

To that end we would strongly urge you to do business with Turtleboy Sports advertisers whenever possible, especially during the holiday season. Oh yea, and if you do go to these places, make sure to write “Turtleboy sent us” on your receipt, take a picture and send it to us. We need to remind these people that the bad guys don’t get to win anymore. So we have written a Haiku for each of them to explain to you why they deserve your business.

A car accident

Can be a shitty ordeal

So call J-J-M

Raccoon in chimney?

Firesafe will get it out

For cozy winter

If trees get too big

They will fall and smash your house

Skyhook cuts down tree

No one likes moving

Call Monster Movers

They lift heavy stuff

Everyone screws up

Michael Erich helps you out

Get you CWOF at most

Bad guys are out there

Family needs protection

H S hook you up

Cheap drinks, good people

Union Tavern on Green Street

So many hot babes

If you are injured

By moron who can’t drive car

Call Cariglia

Liquor, wine, and beer

Julios in Westboro 

Booze make you happy

If you take huge smash

Wipe butt with paper towels

Scavone fix for you

In trouble with law?

Salerno used to be cop

Knows law really well

Bad guys in Worcester

Know you shop at gun parlor

Don’t come to your house

Bud Light tastes like piss

Be Hoppy is grown up beer

Wormtown brew taste good

Best wings in Worcester

First Turtleboy Sports sponsor

Hope you like bacon

Turtleboy Jr

Loves to eat Bennie’s Cafe

Chews with mouth open

If Turtleboy dies

Turtleboy Jr. needs cash

O’Connor provides

Homes are expensive

If your furnace goes to shit

Need home warranty

Only good people 

No dooshnozzles allowed

Classic Worcester bar

House all messed up from

Water damage and fire

Craftech Restoration fix

So there you have it. Please do business with these great people and support freedom during this Christmas season.

Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.