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So inside the courtroom in South Boston today, dooshnozzle terrorist Jafar finally said he was sorry for the Boston Marathon bombing. Not that anyone gives a shit what he has to say because he’s a dirty terrorist. No, no, the REAL person that people came to hear speak today was a guy outside of the courthouse named “George Washington Jr.” And this jingomaniac gave one of the most epic rants in the history of the Internet:

Seriously? We’ve got one fucking video of this legendary rant, and the numbnuts holding the camera holds it vertically? Are we never going to learn from our past mistakes? Has Busgate taught us nothing???!!! Do you see all that black space on the video? That can all be colorful parts of the scenery. But it’s not. Because for some reason in 2015 we’re still videotaping epic rants like this vertically. SMH.

But anyway, holy shit George Washington Jr. You really need to pick a topic and stay on it. Also, maybe calm down a little bit. Or don’t. It’s actually the most entertaining five minutes I’ve had so far this week. But seriously, you gotta write down what you’re gonna talk about bud. This guy started with a conservative rant about illegal immigration, which made sense because the terrorist inside was from an immigrant family that had been abusing our never ending Bay State safety net.

But somehow this quickly turned into a whole thing about Bruce Jenner and Barrack Obama playing golf. He’s kind of like every person I used to see commenting on the Telegram back when it was anonymous.

But in his defense, I don’t think he was expecting the hard hitting questions from the crowd. Like when that woman asked him if he had ever served in law enforcement. Dude was not prepared for that. It’s like, this was supposed to be his epic crazy guy moment. He had it all planned out. Then some snot nosed reporter comes along and asks him a question, and the next thing you know he’s talking about transgender congressmen. I have to admit though, the moment when he said he was “transisting” into George Washington Jr. was the moment that this guy became one of the greatest legends of all time. Ride on GWJ. Ride on.

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