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Glorious Hippies From Amherst Showed Up To Protest Obama For Being An Anti-Weed Fascist At Worcester Tech Graduation

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Turtleboy has gone mainstream. Check out our blogs for WEEI.COM’s Dennis & Callahan’s Producer’s Blog.


Newsflash to Margee Pesikov – Barack Obama, the President of the United States and the most powerful man in the free world, CHOSE to come to Worcester MA today. While you’re complaining about how much you hate this place because of all the handicapped people and pen thievery, Obama chose to leave his house, hop on a plane, and fly into the heart and soul of New England. So suck on that.


So Obama’s day in Worcester has come to an end. Worcester today looked a lot like Watertown and Boston did last April – empty roads, helicopters all over the place, and a heavy police presence. Look, I’m seeing a lot of people complaining about the $200,000 cost it took for the President’s visit to Worcester today. I just wanna clear a few things up:

  • Four Presidents in American history have been assassinated by gun shot
  • President Truman and Ford each survived two assassination attempts, while Theodore Roosevelt, Herbert Hoover, Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, and George W. Bush have all survived assassination attempts foiled by the Secret Service.
  • Barack Obama has been the object of three different assassination attempts, all of which were foiled by the Secret Service.

This is why it costs money to protect the President – because people are constantly trying to kill him. When the President gets up to take a monster presidential sized dump in the morning, it costs money. Because the President of the United States is easily the biggest target in the world no matter who that person is. The alternative is just kind of winging it and hoping everything goes fine. The President of the United State MUST travel. It’s part of the fucking job. And when he does that, it costs money. Do people really wanna live in a country where the President is overthrown every five years so we can save a couple bucks?

When our field reporter on the scene saw the motorcade go by today, it was clear they weren’t fucking around. Obama’s limousine is the second one that passes through. In the black SUV that follows him there was Secret Service riding with the window down and an M-5 cocked and pointed towards the crowd:

It’s hard to see him, but he was in the second row here:

Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 12.05.12 AM Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 12.05.22 AM

With that said, I have to say that I am very disappointed with the local Tea Party. Look, I really thought you people would be down there in full force. I’ve been looking forward to this for a while now. I wanted the FoxNews, Glenn Beck mafia complete with “NoBama,” “Beghazi,” and “Impeach Obama” signs. I had a list of hilarious questions I was gonna ask you people. They included:

  • How do you feel about having a Muslim President?
  • Don’t you think Obama should’ve invaded Iran after Benghazi?
  • What does it mean when a President is impeached?
  • I was in Hawaii and went to the hospital Obama was “born” at, but they wouldn’t show me his birth certificate. Is this a massive cover up because he’s a Kenyan terrorist?
  • Is Obama the worst President ever? Can you please compare and contrast his administration with that of Warren G. Harding’s?

The answers you people would’ve given me would’ve made the greatest blog ever. But none of you asshats were there? What’s up with that? You people talk a big game all over the Facebook machine, but then the antichrist himself shows up in your city and you people all just stay home?? Frauds.

Instead the only people who kept it real were these wonderful hippies from Amherst. They were protesting for weed, particularly the legalization of it. Just like me they were expecting a lot more protesters and were disappointed that people talk a big game on social media and then don’t show their face when the antichrist himself shows up. Now Turtleboy Sports is a family blog, but we have no problem with this message at all. These wonderful souls would never harm a fly:



These people are as American as apple pie. I forgot to get their names, but Grizzley Adams had some badass American pants on:


So obviously these people meant business. Oh yea, and he had this SWEET rap/poem about….well, lots of history I think? Warning this video is the awesomest thing you will ever see. Prepare to never be entertained by anything ever again after watching this…

I still have absolutely no idea what the hell that was, but I need more of it in my life stat.

So why do these people think Obama is a hack? And do they REALLY believe that President Obama smokes weed in White House? And if so, does he fishbowl the Oval Office?

Yea Obama, why don’t you stop being such a fascist dictator and legalize weed already? We all know you’re a stoner. Fascist.

As for the graduation itself the President gave a classic cliche graduation speech. We couldn’t get inside but from what we saw on the outside it was classic Worcester. A bunch of grown ass men with doo-rags and baseball hats with stickers on them. A bunch of women who spent all day at the beauty parlor to get “dressed up,” which of course means wearing a skin tight dress and wearing way too much makeup. Then you throw in your useless suits, dignitaries, and politicians who think they’re actual big shots, and you have a collection of Worcester’s finest under one roof.

Anyway, we’ve got more coming on this later. Facebook has been the most entertaining I may have ever seen it in the last 24 hours. The comments have been priceless and they just keep getting better and better. We’re amassing a Top 10 list of dumb things people said today about the Obama graduation. If you said something dumb on the internet, now might be the time to take it down before you end up on Turtleboy sports. Stay tuned for more hot takes.

Were you in Worcester today? Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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1 Vote



Follow us on Twitter and on Facebook

Turtleboy has gone mainstream. Check out our blogs for WEEI.COM’s Dennis & Callahan’s Producer’s Blog.












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