Sports

Glorious Patriots Fans At Free Brady Rally Might’ve Just Forced Roger Goodell End The Supsension

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Today there was a freedom rally for the Greatest of All Time, Tom Brady, at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro. I saw it on Bleacher Report yesterday and obviously had to check it out. So we brought down the new “Free Brady” and “Je Suis Brady” shirts to check out what all the hub-bub was about. What we found were some of the most colorful, magnificent, creatures you will ever encounter.

Roger Goodell needed to be sent the message loud and clear, that he needed to get his shit together…….or else. And what better way to show him we mean business than with this:

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The official pizza of Peyton Manning, giving out free pizza to Tom Brady fans. In your face Goodell.

 

Some people went with the more traditional signs to stick it to Goodell:

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But I don’t know if signs like that are gonna get him to do the right thing. I mean, people have been saying “Fire Goodell” for years now. No, if we really wanna convince the owners to fire him, we need something more convincing. And if this sign right here doesn’t convince him to free Brady, then I don’t know what will:

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Somewhere Roger Goodell is looking at that sign and crying himself to sleep.

Then he got totally facialized by this girl:

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Boom. Roasted. Your move Goodell.

Anyone who was anyone was down there, including Jr. Smokeshows:

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the religious

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the wounded warriors on crutches

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the young

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the old

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the tailgaters

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the bridge club

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the Patriot mobile

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the Patriot truck

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the grizzled

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the morons

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the sexified

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and the Chuck Taylor, Jorts-wearing diehards

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Will this have any effect on Roger Goodell’s unprecedented punishment? I’d say 50/50. Somewhere in New York he’s probably sitting in a room with all the other NFL owners talking about what they’re going to do about this rally. I mean, that guy got a Belichick tatoo on his inner thigh and pulled his Goddamn pants down. How do you come back from that if you’re Roger Goodell? You can’t. You have to give in.

Sure, it was a bootleg collection of ragtags, with no real order who just kind of stood in a circle and stared at each other.

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Sure, there was no microphone and 95% of the time it was just random people starting any chant they could come up with that had no more than four sylables:

Sure, the fact that it lasted a full 90 minutes was because of t-shirt sales and free pizza.

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But that doesn’t change the fact that the message was sent loud and clear to Roger Goodell – free Brady or we’ll be here again next week for more free pizza.

Don’t be the only Patriots fan out there without your Free Tom Brady/Turtleboy or Je Suis Tom Brady/Turtleboy shirts. Email us at [email protected] or message our interns on Facebook and we’ll have the Turtleboy elf deliver to wherever you want.

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11 Comment(s)
  • MS
    May 26, 2015 at 1:18 pm

    Looks like a retard convention. I have no respect for a man who wears a shirt with another mans name on it. If that’s not gay, nothing is. Then add the jorts to it.

  • TurtleBoySpurts
    May 25, 2015 at 10:38 am

    It’s so nice to see that white people also have critically important social causes that will turn them out in protest. One can scarcely imagine how they’ve endured the horrors of such unending oppression for so long. Thanks, TB, for such a true and accurate look at the depth of white spirit. Just one big circle jerk.

    • the.kurgen
      May 25, 2015 at 3:33 pm

      We were going to invite you but, hey who am i kidding, your own mom wouldn’t invite you over so why would anyone else.

      • TurtleBoySpurts
        May 25, 2015 at 3:58 pm

        Wow, that’s the best you can do? Wait, what am I saying? Of course it is. 🙂

        • the.kurgen
          May 25, 2015 at 4:09 pm

          hey I was good enough for your mom, but hey I’m white so why wouldn’t I be.

          • TurtleBoySpurts
            May 25, 2015 at 7:35 pm

            Hahaha… Mom just told you that so your feelings wouldn’t be hurt. She says she tried not to laugh, but most guys have bigger pinkies than what you’re packing. But at least we know you’re telling the truth about being white.

    • Finnish Goalie
      May 26, 2015 at 8:05 am

      I could certainly think of many more productive ways to spend Memorial Day weekend.

      But, figuring there were rallies and movements to defend Rice and Peterson, this is tame.

  • the.kurgen
    May 25, 2015 at 10:36 am

    We sent you the invite asking you to be the guest speaker, guess your mom opened your mail again, maybe she thought it was for her, we addressed it to the douche of the house. Please get back to us for the next one. thanks

    • TurtleBoySpurts
      May 25, 2015 at 10:44 am

      Well, at least you acknowledge the accuracy of Johnny’s statement, and are honest enough to count yourself among the trash. I gather from your reply that you’re on the managing committee.

      • the.kurgen
        May 25, 2015 at 3:38 pm

        Hey just because no one would ever invite an old balls wanna be like yourself anywhere doesn’t mean the rest of the world can’t still have fun, and if being a Patriot fan makes me trash then so be it, but you have to ask yourself, what does it say about you, who sits and tries to judge everyone on this blog, I’m thinking you sit home wishing some girl would just look your way so you could tell your cat that you have a new girlfriend, of course when the cat comes up from your moms basement i’m sure your mom straightens the misunderstanding out for him.

  • Johnny Jizz
    May 24, 2015 at 9:21 pm

    I didn’t know there was a white trash convention today!

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