Sports

God Loves Us More

 

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Yesterday was perhaps the biggest Boston Celtics pants tent inducing day we’ve seen since they won the NBA Championship in 2008. First the Green signed four time All-Star Al Horford, shoring up their weakest position for years to come.

Then this happened:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BHXvoOjA8jp/

It moved. I can’t remember being this aroused in quite some time. Just look that outfit the GOAT is wearing. You will never, ever see a more confident metrosexual championship athlete in your lifetime.

Before this photograph was taken there was probably a 1-2% chance Kevin Durant brought his talents to Boston. Now you’d have to say it’s at least 50/50. The only person who could possibly screw this one up is Kelly Olynyk. If we don’t get Durant then he gets the blame. Why he was invited is beyond me. Seriously Kelly, way to get dressed up for the meeting:

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Because I’m sure KD won’t be able to resist the urge to play alongside a soft 7 foot bench hippie.

Besides the Olynyk thing, this is the most brilliant marketing move Danny Ainge, or any GM in any sport has ever pulled off. How can Kevin Durant not come to Boston now? You wanna go play in Golden State? Who are they bring to the meeting? Derek Carr and Coco Crisp? And the Spurs? Oh wait, San Antonio doesn’t have any other teams, never mind a four time Super Bowl champion. You can go play for one of those loser franchises and MAYBE win a ring. But even if you do, it will hardly matter. You come to Boston and win a championship and you officially become a legend. This is our greatest bargaining chip, and I’m so glad we’re starting to use it. No other city in America has this sort of unity amongst its sports teams.

And that’s the best part about being a Boston sports fan – we get to pick which Hall of Fame legend from another one of our teams to bring to meetings with big time free agents. Because we are blessed by God himself. All he does is grace us with championship caliber players. And make no doubt about it, Kevin Durant and Al Horford are championship caliber players. Horford won two titles in college, and Durant has been to the finals, and should’ve probably won the whole thing this year.

The best part about Durant is his loyalty. He’s playing in a loser city with fake fans, and he’s really hesitant to leave there. If he’s this loyal to a crapbag city like Oklahoma City, then he would probably kill a man to defend the wall if he donned Celtic green.

Papi also made it clear to KD where he needed to be next year:

https://twitter.com/davidortiz/status/749372847156523008

It’s been over four hours and my Celtics pants tent is still in full effect. Time to call a doctor.

Oh yea, and if there was any doubt how much KD looks up to Brady……

https://twitter.com/TurtleBoySports/status/749414203417628672

Oh. My. God. Bring Kevin Durant to Turtleboy. The Horford signing is nice, but ultimately it means nothing without Durant. We’ll be the second best team in the east, which means shit. In the NBA you don’t win without superstars. But Horford is the bait. He is the Ray Allen, brought here to bring in the bigger fish. It has to happen. It must happen. But even if it doesn’t happen, at least we can say we went down swinging. At the end of the day, God loves us more, so the odds are in our favor.

 

 

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10 Comment(s)
  • Tudor turtle
    July 3, 2016 at 5:49 pm

    They should have brought bill russell. He won nine titles with the celtics, and the league named the playoff MVP the bill Russell trophy.

  • BobnMic
    July 3, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    Goosebumbs goosebumbs goosebumbs. I mean really. Tom Brady on board with the recruiting team? I mean, how fucking cool is that? Big Papi chiming in as well? I’m loving this right now. This is beyond cool.

    If KD signs then it’s a lock for at least the finals position if not the whole fucking thing. So psyched up it’s scary.

    On the edge of seat.

    • GoneWest
      July 3, 2016 at 4:39 pm

      I mean I know he spelled goosebumps wrong, but damn people. You’re really giving it the thumbs down? I got your back Bob

      • Your mom
        July 4, 2016 at 9:41 am

        I’ve been at the point for a while where I just thumbs down everything Bob says without reading it, but now that I actually read it, is this even the real Bob? It’s not posted at 4 in the morning and it’s not completely psychotic like it usually is. Maybe he’s back on his meds.

        • GoneWest
          July 4, 2016 at 9:56 am

          Is this Wabbit? Did you change your handle? Can you guys kiss and make up already?

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            July 4, 2016 at 11:06 am

            Okay I wasn’t going to say anything, but I find it really odd that you would even remember that bobnmic and wabbit had a teeny tiny argument. I find it MORE odd that you would bring it up when none of it had anything to do with you, nor were you even involved in that argument. I find it EVEN MORE odd that you took the time out to reply to “Your mom” and ask if it was wabbit.

            Sometimes I wonder exactly how many identities could bob really have on here. I have counted 5 so far. Other people are starting to notice as well, hence someone saying Three Ball Fred is BobnMic in another blog post.

            I really don’t fucking care because I’m over the Bob thing as its starting to border a true psychological disorder, but the more these kind of weird posts happen, the more I start to wonder who is who on here…

            Fucking creepy…

            Also one of Bob’s classic sayings on here is, “I have your back” I have read it over and over again from him several times, it’s urking so it always stuck with me. My memory is impeccable and im over analytical. I Find it odd that you said the same exact thing to him… that with the defending comments and accusations that “your mom” is wabbit, makes so much sense to me.

          • GoneWest
            July 5, 2016 at 2:26 am

            Fiesty now you’re just paranoid. Other than that one time someone used my handle to talk about the 20 thousand miles in the air thing, I can assure you all the posts have been from me. Well, at least as far as I can tell. I’ve told Wabbit I had his back too. I just think Bob got some undeserved thumbs on that one. Anyway, glad to hear it blew over. I wasn’t on here as frequently the past couple of weeks and didn’t know where things stood. See you in the next blog

          • BobnMic
            July 5, 2016 at 5:05 am

            Ok I going to admit and confess to everything. I am the worst person on this earth. Big asshole, big fucknut, big shithead, big dipshit big fucking whatever, big – I dunno whatever. I have done everything wrong that could possibly be done wrong. I have 102 possibly 407 actual fake identities on here and I am Fred and everybody else and I love to fuck with females. Because I hate chicks. Because chicks suck. And I cause all the problems on here. It is all on me.

            Ya OK.

            Well, seriously no they do not in real life. I was being facetious because I married one. And I love her very much. My best friend and soul mate forever.

            Hey seriously – I wish happiness for everyone. That is just me, Bob. Peace.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            July 5, 2016 at 8:35 am

            Okay GoneWest…………sure. you have been on here, what are you talking about? Just letting you know, that argument between wabbit and Bob happened in the middle of May. It’s July 5th. You have a great memory for small details of an argument not concerning you. God bless that memory. I can tell you that if someone argues with you todsy, in 30 seconds I won’t remember because I wouldn’t care enough as it doesn’t concern me personally. Also if you need to stick up for someone because of down votes? I get down voted all the tike, it’s better than a thumbs up. It means pussies are crying when reading my shit.

            L
            O
            L

            OK bye “GoneWest”

  • GoneWest
    July 3, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    It’s like the meeting of the five families

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