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Yesterday was perhaps the biggest Boston Celtics pants tent inducing day we’ve seen since they won the NBA Championship in 2008. First the Green signed four time All-Star Al Horford, shoring up their weakest position for years to come.
— The Ringer (@ringer) July 2, 2016
Then this happened:
— gary washburn (@GwashburnGlobe) July 2, 2016
It moved. I can’t remember being this aroused in quite some time. Just look that outfit the GOAT is wearing. You will never, ever see a more confident metrosexual championship athlete in your lifetime.
Before this photograph was taken there was probably a 1-2% chance Kevin Durant brought his talents to Boston. Now you’d have to say it’s at least 50/50. The only person who could possibly screw this one up is Kelly Olynyk. If we don’t get Durant then he gets the blame. Why he was invited is beyond me. Seriously Kelly, way to get dressed up for the meeting:
Because I’m sure KD won’t be able to resist the urge to play alongside a soft 7 foot bench hippie.
Besides the Olynyk thing, this is the most brilliant marketing move Danny Ainge, or any GM in any sport has ever pulled off. How can Kevin Durant not come to Boston now? You wanna go play in Golden State? Who are they bring to the meeting? Derek Carr and Coco Crisp? And the Spurs? Oh wait, San Antonio doesn’t have any other teams, never mind a four time Super Bowl champion. You can go play for one of those loser franchises and MAYBE win a ring. But even if you do, it will hardly matter. You come to Boston and win a championship and you officially become a legend. This is our greatest bargaining chip, and I’m so glad we’re starting to use it. No other city in America has this sort of unity amongst its sports teams.
And that’s the best part about being a Boston sports fan – we get to pick which Hall of Fame legend from another one of our teams to bring to meetings with big time free agents. Because we are blessed by God himself. All he does is grace us with championship caliber players. And make no doubt about it, Kevin Durant and Al Horford are championship caliber players. Horford won two titles in college, and Durant has been to the finals, and should’ve probably won the whole thing this year.
The best part about Durant is his loyalty. He’s playing in a loser city with fake fans, and he’s really hesitant to leave there. If he’s this loyal to a crapbag city like Oklahoma City, then he would probably kill a man to defend the wall if he donned Celtic green.
Papi also made it clear to KD where he needed to be next year:
It’s been over four hours and my Celtics pants tent is still in full effect. Time to call a doctor.
Oh yea, and if there was any doubt how much KD looks up to Brady……
Oh. My. God. Bring Kevin Durant to Turtleboy. The Horford signing is nice, but ultimately it means nothing without Durant. We’ll be the second best team in the east, which means shit. In the NBA you don’t win without superstars. But Horford is the bait. He is the Ray Allen, brought here to bring in the bigger fish. It has to happen. It must happen. But even if it doesn’t happen, at least we can say we went down swinging. At the end of the day, God loves us more, so the odds are in our favor.
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