God Still Loves Us More And We Will Win The Super Bowl Next Year

Have a tip for a story? Email us at

Follow us on Twitter by clicking here

Follow us on Instagram by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever Facebook page to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information.






I’m still in shock. We lost to a backup quarterback. I refuse to blame this on the refs even though Nick Foles caught a touchdown pass on an illegal formation, the Zack Ertz touchdown was the exact same thing as the Jesse James non-catch, and Clement never had control of the ball on his touchdown. This is what loser fanbases do. Winners like us recognize that you never should’ve bee in a position where the refs can decide the game in the first place. We should’ve murdered this team. We didn’t.

No big deal. Same time next year.

We have a 40 year old quarterback who just put up the greatest Super Bowl performance of all time, and seems to be playing the best football of his career. Brandon Cooks got exposed for being a one trick pony and a pussy who is so afraid of contact that he tried hurdling a dude, and ultimately was the reason he got knocked out of the game. I can’t believe all the excuse making on Twitter about Cooks. Just look at the play he got knocked out on:

He got knocked out because he was running away from contact. Julian Edelman would’ve ran right through them and gotten five more yards. But fear not, because Edelman will be back next year (a REAL Patriot), we will win the Super Bowl again, and all normalcy will be restored in the universe.

This loss is not on Matt Patricia’s defense either; it’s on Bill Belichick. How is Matt Patricia supposed to do his job when his boss is telling him he can’t use one of his best employees?

Belichick benched Malcolm Butler because he wanted to make it clear how ginormous his hog is. His excuse that he put the best players in the game is pure bullshit. Eric Rowe got roasted like the Nutty Professor over and over and over again. This exact same scenario happened in Super Bowl 49 when Kyle Arrington kept getting beat. Remember what Belichick did? He benched him and put in Malcolm Butler. This time Rowe played the whole game and as a result we got beat by a backup quarterback. 

And no, Butler was not sick, and he did not have the flu. If that were true then he wouldn’t have played on special teams.

Anyway, I’m over it. I’d say that I’m happy for the Eagles, but I’m not. I wanna win every single year, but if we don’t win I’d like to see someone cool and random win, like the Jags or Tampa Bay or some fanbase that has less than a 1 million likes on Facebook. I hate it when real fanbases win (Cowboys, Giants, Eagles, Steelers).

God still loves us more. He just tests us from time to time.

P.S. Where does Nick Foles play next year? Answer: Buffalo.

27 Comment(s)
  • Rocky
    February 6, 2018 at 7:19 am

    God is make believe, faggot

  • philly is cursed
    February 6, 2018 at 6:07 am

    Fans in Eagles Jerseys ring NYSE opening bell.

    NYSE suffers historic single day drop.

    • Keynesian Economics, 101
      February 6, 2018 at 12:05 pm

      If you believe this, then you are a fool! The market was destined for a decline after rapid growth over the last two years! Uncontrolled growth results in “checks and balances” to keep the market in step with lending practices and the interest rate (any fool knows that!)

      Not the result of “fans” wearing Eagles Jerseys!

      Simple Keynesian economics!

      • Mis Quoting Other Peeps, 101
        February 6, 2018 at 5:30 pm

        Believe what? historic single day drop on 2-5-18 = FACK.
        Eagles jersey on deck at opening bell = FACK.

        The part about philly fans causing the drop is something you made-up, nobody claimed that but you. You put words on somebody else then argue against your own words, you is a dum dum.

        Keep repeating your new words of the day, (keynesian economics). Maybe you would better understand Kenyan Economics.

  • Philly Fans Eat Shit
    February 6, 2018 at 5:42 am

    #phillyfanseatsshit not an insult he literally ate horse feces off the ground.

    #DiDiSista DiDi’s soul sista stabbed her two children to death in Brockton.

    Philadelphia Eagles Fans literally EAT SHIT.

  • Big Philly
    February 5, 2018 at 6:38 pm

    Suck it losers. Next year my ass, that lily white cracker qb is retiring, and that yard Gronk is showing signs of brain damage at 28 yrs of age. The Pats, much like New England is all done, never to return.
    A third tier team for a third tier region.
    Time to make America great again, and you guys missed that bus long before you started losing super bowls in 2018.

    • Big Philly
      February 5, 2018 at 6:40 pm

      -not Yard

      • Philly Is A Bunch Of Homos
        February 6, 2018 at 5:50 pm

        Tom, by himself, has 5 Superbowl rings, you fucking douchebag.

        The Eagles just won their first Superbowl.

        One. One fucking Superbowl since Superbowls began.

        You want to brag about that?

        • Fucknewengland
          February 6, 2018 at 7:12 pm

          Do you know how many dicks he had to suck to get them?

  • How 'Bout Those Winning Jerseys You Were Going to Print Up?
    February 5, 2018 at 4:21 pm

    Did you print them, and they are now being worn by kids in third-world countries?

    Did you print them, and distribute them to kids in Worcester, in the hopes that they would worship you and your pathetic website?

    Did you print them, and now they’re being used for rags to mop up crap?

    Just wondering!

  • Stop being butt hurt the Eagles' beat you Patsies' fans
    February 5, 2018 at 3:38 pm

    Except the ref clearly explained why it was a TD catch by Ertz ( not the same thing as Jesse James at all ) , Foles was no lined up in an illegal formation ( direct snap to RBs is allowed ), and Clement absolutely had control of his TD catch.

    But other than that….

    Hey way to go TB. These new writers are really working out. Nice to see an idiot that knows nothing about sports… writing about sports….on a site called Turtleboy…wait for it….SPORTS!


    • Phil Your Crack
      February 5, 2018 at 3:43 pm

      Do it four more times so you can catch up to us, dingleberry.

      See you in 140 years.

      • Phil's face looks like a crack
        February 6, 2018 at 7:59 am

        Not even an Eagles or a Pats fan jackass just an objective one that can’t stand all the whining. You got beat. Deal with it. Put on your big boy pants.

  • Troubled Nostrils
    February 5, 2018 at 11:52 am

    Meanwhile many Iggles fans are doing what they do best: Behave like animals.

    Fuck’em – they’re still losers, even after their team wins the SB.

  • Hugh Jass
    February 5, 2018 at 11:23 am

    DeDe is the Kryptonite to TB’s (poseur) Superman shtick.

    • didi’s disgustingly huge ass
      February 5, 2018 at 12:39 pm

      Why do you purposely spell your name wrong?

      • TortugaNino
        February 5, 2018 at 1:00 pm

        her dumbass thinks that keeps us from knowing its her, but the smell remains. I don’t even think the over played “walking dead” trope of covering herself with the festering innards of the undead to could hide her stench.

  • Hugh Jass
    February 5, 2018 at 11:21 am

    God loves DeDe more than TB; because she helped DeDe put the sledgehammer to TB’s FB biz plan. I mean, he is left to run crappy house ads now, which do not even pay!

  • Next Year
    February 5, 2018 at 11:09 am

    I’m really wanting to know why Butler was benched but I don’t think we will ever find out. I think that absolutely cost us the game

    • Hugh Jass
      February 5, 2018 at 11:31 am

      Butler ran afoul of DeDe. So she leveled him just like she leveled TBS FB biz plan. DeDe is tougher than tough… Butler poked the bear at his own risk, and now he’ll get pennies on the dollar compared to last year…

  • Ryan
    February 5, 2018 at 9:36 am

    Lolololol nice swiss cheese defense. Probably could’ve used that Butler guy.

    • Ryan
      February 5, 2018 at 9:41 am

      Maybe could’ve used that Chandler Jones guy too

  • “Patriot Nation” is Why Everyone Hates the Patriots
    February 5, 2018 at 9:17 am

    Tom Brady is the G.O.A.T.
    Bill Belichick is one of the best coaches to ever be a part of the game. 
    The NEP have arguably been one of the, if not THE, best dynasty franchises in professional sports. 

    True fans of football will not argue these three points. 

    That being said, fuck “Patriot Nation” and their whining, entitled, crybaby bullshit. Whenever the Pats lose, these meatheads crawl out of the woodwork to piss, bitch, and moan about how they “got fucked” by {insert conspiracy here}. It’s horseshit. The Pats may be one of the best organizations of the modern era, but they CAN lose due to poor play calling, or poor execution. Patriots losses are not due to some anti-New England cabal, plotting to destroy the franchise. Get fucked with that shit. 

    Learn to win and lose gracefully, “Patriot Nation.” Until then, go fuck yourselves. 

  • February 5, 2018 at 8:58 am

    Are people still mad at me? Did my tomfoolery have any effect on the result of the game?

    • Ryan
      February 5, 2018 at 9:37 am

      In fairness, she did look like a little pissant last night.

  • TortugaNino
    February 5, 2018 at 8:54 am

    the butthurt is strong with this one…

Comment on this Post


Who Did A Better Job Of Cheating: Jason Kidd or Mike Tomlin?
Cleveland Browns Backup QB Is Best Kept Freak Show In NFL
Priceless Fan Reactions to Alabama-Auburn Game As BCS Fails Again In It’s Final Season