GoFundMe Scam: Grown Man From Spencer Wants $1,500 Because Being A Free Spirit Doesn’t Pay The Bills And Also Got A DUI

GoFundMe Scam: Grown Man From Spencer Wants $1,500 Because Being A Free Spirit Doesn’t Pay The Bills And Also Got A DUI

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Check out this GoFundMe scam of the week:

“I truly believe that money and the search and accumulation of it by us working people is ruining the human aspect of living.”

Now please give me $1,500.

You’ll never guess who his favorite blogger is…..

Yup, Red Danny Margolis. Wocester’s most infamous communist revolutionary.

The fact that losers like this don’t like our blog is all the evidence you need that we’re doing something right. We don’t want people like this to like our blog. We want them to hate it. Because we’re exposing and blowing up their twisted and bullshit world view.

Only in America can a single man with no kids beg for money on the Internet and feel zero shame in doing so. Sometimes I think about how rich I’d be if I didn’t have kids. Don’t get me wrong, I like them a lot, but they’re nothing but money pits. The day I ever feel sorry for a single male in his 20’s is the day Turtleboy Jr. doesn’t intentionally try to kill himself.

So just to review why you should give your hard earned money to this grown man in the prime of his life because:

  • He drove drunk in 2014 and got arrested and as a result he has no license (even though a first DUI charge would not result in him having a 3 year license suspension)
  • He has daddy issues
  • He had many setbacks mentally
  • He had a rough road, growing up in Auburn and being a track star

  • The tough life he’s lived in the Massachusetts suburbs have given him strength to become the “truest, most powerful self to evolve and manifest.” Whatever that means.
  • He was on the path to success but corporations, politicians, executives, and bankers made it impossible to accumulate his “deserved wealth.” Because he deserves wealth for being a free spirit.
  • He can’t afford to pay the license reinstatement fee because his minimum wage job doesn’t pay a living wage.
  • He’s been trying to save himself but he’s “exhausted” all his options.
  • He hasn’t made any money over the years because he’s been too busy “grounding himself as a valuable member of a society sick from monetary conditioning.” In other words, he tried to live a life in which money didn’t matter, but it turns out money does matter.
  • He’s had spiritual setbacks at the minimum wage job he works.
  • Giving him money is an investment in “all of our futures.” Somehow.
  • He has big goals and dreams, but without you giving money to him it will be lost in a see of “blatant inequalities.” Because when I think of a 25 year old white man in America, the first thing I think is “inequality.”
  • He wants to go back to school and apparently $1,500 will cover it. Even though he’s already attended UMass Dartmouth and Worcester State.

  • He wants to save the planet from inefficient leadership, and $1,500 should do the trick.
  • If Jimi Hendrix were alive today he’d donate.
  • He has no time and energy for any criticism of his very legitimate GoFundMe scam.

Holy Jesus, this guy is a like a commercial for the anti-pot lobby. He’s not even a junkie. Just a stoner who wants to blame other people for his problems. That sounded like the Occupy Wall Street manifesto. Please, explain to me how corporations and bankers are preventing you from making a living in this free country of our’s. I’d love to hear how GE is preventing you from paying your bills.

Newsflash – if you can’t make money in America then your’e a fucking douchebag. There’s a million and one ways to make money. Let me show you what the American dream is all about. The Turtleboy family’s mailbox is a disgrace to humanity. It cost $20 and I dug an 18 inch hole, stuck in there and then covered it with rocks. It’s an abortion of a mailbox. Then I came home the other day and this was attached to it:

This mother fucker right here just got my business. Wanna know why? Because he drove around looking for people with shitty mailboxes and stuck his brochure on it. This isn’t junk mail. It’s specifically targeted towards abortion mailboxes like mine. Sure, I could go down to Home Depot, get a nicer mailbox, go on Youtube and figure out how put in a mailbox, and then go and buy the supplies I’ll need in order to do that. But time is money in the blogging world and I’d much rather just pay someone else to do it. What are his prices like? He’s got that all in his nifty brochure:

Probably gonna go with the All-In-One or the Classic Pressure Treated. Less than $200 for something that’s gonna last me 20 years and saves me time and money? Sign me up. This guy supplied a demand. He showed initiative and entrepreneurial spirit. He is America. His prices are more than fair. And he will get my business.

And as you can see in his brochure, he started his business as a college student. I fucking LOVE people like this. I LOVE people who didn’t buy into the bullshit that you have to depend on other people for your financial happiness. If you’re whining about the minimum wage like Joe Montville, then you’re doing so because you’re dependent on other people to decide how much you should be paid. But this is America. YOU should be deciding how much you get paid, and this is how you do that. You come up with a good idea, you invest in some cheap brochures, you develop a business plan, and you market towards the right crowd, which in this case is people with white trash mailboxes.

If losers like Joe put half the time they do into whining on Facebook about how unfair the American economic system is, and instead sat down and asked themselves, “what do people need and how can I sell it to them,” then he wouldn’t have to resort to working at Price Chopper and begging for money on the Internet. Instead he’s posting posting Facebook videos about how hard it is to be him:

about how hard it is not to be privileged:

Explaining why he’s gonna block you from getting to your job:
And whining about how heroin addicts don’t need help:
But he does need help. After all, the skydiving trip he took with his girlfriend two weeks ago isn’t gonna pay for itself.



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14 Comment(s)
  • Kris
    June 26, 2017 at 9:32 am

    Turtle boy sports- fake news for fake people

  • TDF
    June 26, 2017 at 8:06 am

    The Dude looks like Billy from “One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest”

  • itsjustme
    June 25, 2017 at 11:01 pm

    Skydiving is expensive, when I went 15 years ago it was $350, I imagine it’s a lot more now. Doesn’t it only cost $125 to get your license reinstated? Totally tool just looking for free money.

  • Noseface
    June 25, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    This fucking kids teeth irritate me beyond words.

  • gfldgadfly
    June 25, 2017 at 9:52 pm

    I’d love to have the honor of interviewing him for a job just to get to send a form letter declination about personal hygiene and grooming. Bitch, hie thee to a barber .
    No one wants to hear about your personal journey. They want to hear what your qualifications are, and not worry they will be mortified when a client comes in and finds Sideshow Mel sitting in the corner cubicle.
    Yikes. Please tell me your Frontline applications are current

  • They call me Ponch
    June 25, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    It used to be bake sales, car washes and lemonade stands growing up.
    Now, I’m subjected to the shakedown whenever I try to leave the West Side.
    Cardboard sign holders, football helmet holders, boot holders, batting helmet holders.
    Screw providing a service anymore. Just beg.
    Teaches a bad lesson.
    I don’t care if your kids dance troupe wants to go to Disney.
    Fuck you and your standing in traffic.

  • Joseph Montville
    June 25, 2017 at 9:23 pm
  • Joseph Montville
    June 25, 2017 at 8:04 pm
  • Common Man
    June 25, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    What a fucken douchenozzle………

  • Maggie the Cat
    June 25, 2017 at 6:33 pm

    I agree with The Executioner in spades. Losers like this Go Fund Me guy are contributing to the decline of civilization. I am so tired of these shitty people. (As you can probably tell from my recent posts.)

  • Igotamedal
    June 25, 2017 at 6:09 pm

    I have a Wahl hair trimmer that I spent less than $30.00 and I would like to introduce this brillo-headed free spirit to the novel concept of a “haircut.”

    Maybe if he showed up at a job interview with a decent haircut instead of a wiry, wild tuft of pubic hair gone wild he may get a job where he makes more than $11.00.

  • The Executioner
    June 25, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    Another GoFuckMe page that deserves to be on an exit ramp for Vernon Hill. Get a life pal, or get a cardboard box and move in. LOSER

    • Emily
      June 25, 2017 at 6:52 pm

      Please NO! There are more then enough on Vernon Hill!
      RT 146… Chandler St…even saw one on Salisbury St today. He’s going to make a bundle there. I can’t even afford to drive down Salisbury St. LOL

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