Hoodrat Heroes

GoFundMe Scam Of The Day: Fall River “Massage Therapist” About To Fire Prize Out Of Baby Cannon Just Realized She Needs Everything Required To Raise A Baby And Baby Daddy Is Busy Posting Insightful Things On Facebook

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Here’s your GoFundMe scam of the day out of Fall River….

So let me get this straight. Ashley Serra is a 23 year old “recent graduate” of….somewhere. She’s scheduled to fire out a raw dog trophy in September, and she’s done ZERO PLANNING for it whatsoever. Now she expects society to bail her out with a GoFundMe.

Oh yea, she’ll fit right in at the Fall River PTA meeting.

She claims she was laid off as a “massage therapist” a month before “maternity leave.” Apparently they have an interesting dress code at this massage parlor….

“Massage therapist.”

She was laid off, yet doesn’t qualify for unemployment. She doesn’t have much family or friends to help. Except for the able bodied baby daddy who seems to have knocked her up.

Oh. My. God. That might be the greatest image we’ve ever published in Turtleboy history.

She’s been prego for 7 months, but she hasn’t gotten a crib, a car seat, clothing, diapers, bottles, a stroller, or pretty much anything a you’d need to care for a baby. Apparently her plan was to wait until the last minute and have the Internet take care of that for her. And of course she can’t afford to pay rent, phone, utilities, or car insurance either. So obviously this child is in good hands.

Oh, and she’s having a baby shower too, which she forgot to mention in the GFM….

She’s also got plenty of cash for other Fall River necessities, like Henny, and cats….

But don’t you dare go around judging her…..

Only God can do that. 100 100 100 emoji.

Luckily her baby daddy Deven Robinson (who apparently is from Fitchburg) sounds like a grounded individual who has his shit together, and likely will stick around for the long haul…..

Definitely want that guy being around my son. Solid male influence in his life right there.

Here’s an idea for the ratchets of the world – stop reproducing. Planned Parenthood will give you birth control for free. We literally pay taxes so that muffcooters like this have the tools to stop multiplying. Or you could just go with the Turtleboy birth control method – the chest. Works every time.

Nah. That would require planning and responsibility. Concepts these sludge bunnies aren’t familiar with. Instead they just keep on reproducing, and we keep paying for it all. If you really can’t afford to give your child anything, then you should have to give you kid up for adoption. I’m sick and tired of these deadbeats bringing human beings into this world without a thought for their well being. You wanna fuck up your own life, knock yourself out. Stop dragging innocent children down with you and repeating the cycle of ratchetry.

25 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    July 21, 2018 at 4:20 pm

    She’s a massage therapist in the same way the Chinese girls in the jack shacks are. And the Chinese girls are better looking.

  • Rockets Redglare
    July 18, 2018 at 9:32 am

    Can anyone expose who the fucking moron is that donated 25$ ?

    • Mo money
      July 18, 2018 at 10:28 am

      You can make money from gofundme just by people sharing it with friends. Idk how much, but that’s why they always ask for it to be shared

  • Ratchtacular
    July 18, 2018 at 5:26 am

    Get out your check books, we’re paying for this shit show.

    • Hughbo Mont
      July 18, 2018 at 2:11 pm

      Love Bill Whittle! Mr. FACKS.

  • Revrun Fishknuckle
    July 18, 2018 at 2:59 am

    So are they together or not? I can’t read ghettobabble..

  • WeAreFucked
    July 17, 2018 at 8:44 pm

    Fuck her. Fuck him. Sadly, that baby is fucked already. Not even born yet and he’s fucked.
    Someone chop the n’er’s dick off before he fathers 4-or-5 more kids. “Working 16 hour days 6 days a week…” LOL he’s not very good at math.

    More tattoo’d fucked up people. Surprise.

    • Hughbo Mont
      July 18, 2018 at 2:13 pm

      Complete with the “I’m here for the job!” neck tattoo.

  • Twat waffle
    July 17, 2018 at 8:08 pm

    OhhhhKayy. too bad they missin half the story.

  • TJB
    July 17, 2018 at 7:20 pm

    I dont like working, getting up early ‘n shit. And going to and from work is a bother. Hmmm, if only there was a way to stay home, watch TV and smoke, drink in the middle of the day; and have someone else pay for everything. Hmmm…..

  • Screw PC
    July 17, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    Fucking dingbat. They can’t afford the first one and he’s still trying to fuck her in that bathroom selfie.

    There are crazy people everywhere. Why can’t one of them see at least one of these pictures where fuckheads flip the bird and say “that motherfucker’s flipping me the bird” and go beat him with a shovel? Why can this not happen? Do normal people have to deal with all manner of crazy shit except for that one awesome potential side effect of being surrounded by crazy people?

  • z
    July 17, 2018 at 6:53 pm

    He comes across as the most realistic of the 2. That’s not saying much.

    Not sure that many guys are into tatted up pregnant strippers/hookers. I know I’m not. Can’t be good for business, hence being let go.

  • TJB
    July 17, 2018 at 6:31 pm

    Attention, Brockton landlord with the 3 family with 20 people living in it; make room for two more.

  • Will Crusher
    July 17, 2018 at 5:48 pm

    They are a race of children.

  • MonketTrashNeverLearns
    July 17, 2018 at 5:40 pm

    Time to raise raxes on the evil productive white woking tax payer again. The evil whiteman must pay and psy for the bastard hatched out her filthy snatch.
    All the rap songs about bang8ng pussy gettin pussy takin pussy and then blacks and browns leave as soon as the result(baby) of banging dat pussy happens.
    Even animsls dont leave their young to fend for themselves. If black and brown lives matter try fatherhood it really helps out socially and ecconomically

  • hank
    July 17, 2018 at 5:23 pm

    It would be fucking awesome if KOOLs came out with a “make me sterile” cigarette. Society would truly be better off for it.

    • z
      July 17, 2018 at 9:25 pm

      Or spike the Henny.

      • P. Niss
        July 17, 2018 at 10:25 pm

        Poisoning the henny would solve a great many problems in society. Of course you could say, just do the batch going to certain areas. We wouldn’t want to poison the few decent people who drink the henny just out of curiosity. We just want the ratchets.

      • Wabbitt
        July 21, 2018 at 4:19 pm

        We could slow the spread of ratchets just by spiking their drinks with Plan B.

  • Honkey Kong
    July 17, 2018 at 5:16 pm

    What do a cat’s asshole and a chickenhead’s baby bump have in common?

    There is no way to convince the cat or the chickenhead that they’re not beautiful and you don’t want to see either of them.

  • Wooooowwww
    July 17, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    Are you fucking kidding me? I’m so sick of these welfare skanks reproducing. Someone ask her where she used to work and call her out on her bullshit. Skank hoe

    • Hughbo Mont
      July 18, 2018 at 2:21 pm

      LOL She was a stripper and worked at a ‘rub and tug’.

  • Clitty Litter
    July 17, 2018 at 4:56 pm

    Quit drawing on yo self.
    Shit cost money.

  • TFDC
    July 17, 2018 at 4:45 pm

    I am willing to bet everything she is in welfare. And when you are pregnant on welfare, they give you money for everything. Including a crib. You should have kept your legs shut if you can’t afford a human

  • The Mooch.
    July 17, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    The Mooch has definitely seen this ratchet naked: 3/10.

    Also, the Mooch thinks that preggo bathroom selfie is second only to the Burlington Mall Fupaslug with the iced coffee wedged in her diabetic titties.

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