Hoodrat Heroes

GoFundMe Scam Of The Day: Westfield Womb Broom Wants $995 Versace Sneakers Because He “Has Other Things I’ll Be Spending Money On 

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I thought we’d seen it all when it came to GoFundMe scams. Then someone sent us this today from my neck of the woods in Westfield:

I figured it HAD to be a joke. I mean, seriously? This sounds like someone trolling to get on Turtleboy on purpose. He wants you to buy him $995 shoes that he can’t buy for himself because “I have other things I’ll be spending money on.” This can’t possibly be real. Except it was…..

If you don’t see why this would end up on Turtleboy, then you don’t know Turtleboy. Just because you’re being honest doesn’t make your actions any less ratchet Dylan.

“This isn’t some scam to try and hustle your hard earned money to pay my bills or buy food to survive.”

Believe it or not the people who are doing GFMs to pay their bills are more noble than you. Sure, they’ve completely abandoned their shame by getting other people to bail them out of their responsibilities. But at least you need food and shelter to survive. Begging friends to pay for your $995 Gucci sneakers is much, much, more ratchet than 99% of the people we profile. Just because you’re honest about your intentions and aren’t selling food stamps to raise the cash does not change that fact.

Here’s a idea that clearly is lacking for millenials like yourself – pay for your own shit. And if you can’t afford to buy something, that’s OK too. Because sometimes life is about choices and we don’t get everything we want. Or just buy shoes that cost $400 instead of $995. It’s called “budgeting.” It’s a 90’s thing.

All I’m saying is, if Facebook actually approves of this fundraiser, my head is going to explode after all the things they’ve taken down from us.

11 Comment(s)
  • Truth&Lies
    May 26, 2018 at 12:05 am

    Use to find your shit amusing but in reality your just s I’m losing trying to feel better making others feel horrible. Not everyone is scamming. And you have no idea what the true story even is! Maybe u should learn real journalism instead of of this pus st a As. SHIT. Can talk shut about everyone and hide behind a fake name and screen haha haha your the biggest loser \ scanner out there!!! You don’t even get the whole story. I fuck people in nothing.you’re pathetic!! why don’t you reveal who you are? Oh yeah because you’re a pussy fake

  • The Man in the Yellow Hat
    May 24, 2018 at 6:41 pm

    Turtleboy, you got trolled. Little Ginger Balls is probably printing and framing this article as we speak. Virtual high five, Little Ginger Balls! You did it!

  • Spunky
    May 24, 2018 at 3:01 pm

    Do people really wear those ugly ass sneakers?

  • Ray Patriarca
    Ray Patriarca
    May 24, 2018 at 9:50 am

    Here’s a hint, fuckstain. Spend a little less money on your stupid fucking tattoos, get a job, budget your money and….wallah !!….you can purchase your silly faggoty shoes. You see, that’s what real men do. Real men work for a living, pay their own way, and buy their own shit. But, as an entitled millennial asswad, you think everyone owes you a living. Some day, when you leave mommy’s basement and learn to fend for yourself, you might learn this.

  • Larry Zibisco
    May 23, 2018 at 2:59 pm

    You Turtleboy fucknuts criticize people for lying to get people’s money, and thus label them ratchets. We get that and agree actually. This guy is being straight forward and honest. If people want to help him buy super snekaers, that’s on them, because once again, he is being totally straight forward (assuming anyway.) You people think you have the right to identify what gofundme is used for, but your presumptive projections are fucking wrong. There’s numerous categories in goffundme. People post for many reasons, e.g. to get supplies and subscriptions to their hobbies, things for suprises for others, and the list is nearly endless. Not everything has to be an emeregency or for a new kidney or something. Your arguement fail when someone is being honest. You do not get to predetermine cause and eligibility. We do understand there is a certain audience base that is stupid enough though to hang on your every projection, which, IOHO, is the true ratchetness going on. We’re not in Kansas anymore Toto.

    • Rick Shaw
      Rick Shaw
      May 23, 2018 at 3:13 pm

      Hey dummy! Stop trying to sound intelligent. Your grammar is an embarrassment to 3rd graders everywhere. What is this prodigy spending his other money on? Maybe some Streisand tickets, a Subaru, or some leather hot pants? Or maybe he’s spending his money on his Salter School education?

    • Screw PC
      May 23, 2018 at 3:30 pm

      Fuck you Larry, you stupid fucking cunt. He’s asking everyone and anyone for money for some fucking Peter Pan faggot shoes. Because he’s asking everyone for money, I’m one of everyone who gets to blast him out for it. If he asked a specific group of 11 fucking people, those 11 would be the ones to tell him to suck more cocks than he usually does until he’s got enough to pay for a fucking useless vanity item himself. Why give this ginger pussy shit? Because GoFundMe should be relegated to people who are in dire need and not the types that pull the financial fucking fire alarm to get pussin’ boots. You want something, work for it. If you pull this shit, you’re fair game for ridicule. Fuck off, eat shit, turn green and die.

  • Screw PC
    May 23, 2018 at 2:29 pm

    I miss the days when a kid would get beaten for even thinking of just putting on Versace sneakers. Fucking shit, today’s kids are total homos. There’s no way that anybody who would wear those fucking fairy slippers could get a hard on from a chick. It figures. When you let your kid grow up watching “High School Musical”, there’s no doubt he was going to suck cocks when he got older.

  • Irv
    May 23, 2018 at 2:17 pm

    To be a modern day $hithead do you need to have facial hair and tattoos where people can see them?

  • GingyKidd
    May 23, 2018 at 2:08 pm

    This kid is clearly trolling and it’s hilarious. I love him. You really believe this kid? AND you’re calling him more ratchet than the scam artists? Literally the funniest thing I’ve ready today. I mean I have a job and all so there aren’t too many contenders right this minute but still…..

    May 23, 2018 at 1:49 pm

    Honestly, I appreciate this clown’s approach more than others who lie and cheat their way through life. I would never donate a cent to him, but at least he’s upfront about it.

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