Good News For USMNT: Ghana Suspends Best Players For Slapping The Shit Out Of Management

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Good news for the USA today. We can still lose this game against Germany and it might not matter. That’s because only Ghana is a realistic threat to pass the USA with a win over Portugal, and they just lost two of their best players for the rest of the tournament:

The Ghana FA has confirmed that midfielders Sulley Muntari and Kevin Prince-Boateng have been sent home before the vital Portugal match for two separate incidents. Muntari is said to have slapped Ghana management committee member Moses Armah Parker. The FA released a statement yesterday that read:

The decision was taken in the wake of his unprovoked physical attack on an Executive Committee member of the GFA and a management member of the Black Stars, Mr. Moses Armah on Tuesday 24th June, 2014 during a meeting.

Muntari’s accreditation for the 2014 World Cup has been withdrawn with immediate effect.


Ghana just slapping their managers before the big game. So Ghana it hurts.


It gets better:

Marmah was slapped and “even chased with with broken bottles at the hotel over disagreements with appearance fees and other bonuses owed the players,” which, Christ. Earlier this week, players had threatened a boycott of today’s game, demanding $3 million in appearance fees, to be divided among the 23 players. In response, Ghana sent a plane full of cash that was supposed to arrive on Wednesday.

See that right there? This is why America beat Ghana. America doesn’t lose to countries that have to borrow electricity from the Ivory Coast. America doesn’t lose to teams who hold their country hostage and make them fly $3 million in a plane because they don’t believe they’ll end up getting paid. America doesn’t have to slap the shit out of management to ensure payment.

Turns out one of the Black Stars went buck wild on management too:

Muntari squared off against the Medeama SC owner and Black Stars management committee member at a meeting between the players and management where both men exchanged punches before storming Parker’s room where he smashed a MacBook Pro, destroyed phones and property in the room at the Brasilia Palace Hotel the official was staying.

An exchange of words ensued with Muntari reportedly telling Parker something along the lines of “if you people make small coins you think you have money so you can talk to us anyhow.” Muntari then threw a first punch, Parker retaliated hitting the Milan star and drawing blood in the process.

This is why Ghana can’t have nice things. No one pays attention to your country for four years. Then the World Cup comes around and you’re all of a sudden relevant. And what do you do? Lie to your players and promise payment that never arrives, which leads to the players refusing to play and culminates with the star players storming managements hotel room and smashing their MacBooks. Nice going Ghana.

The only thing I’m kind of worried about is that Ghana just goes into this game not giving a fuck about anything and lose like 6-0. Then our German coach throws the game in the final act of vengeance for Germany and we lose and our World Cup is over. That would suck.

I believe that we will tie!!!

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Turtleboy has gone mainstream. Check out our blogs for WEEI.COM’s Dennis & Callahan’s Producer’s Blog.








1 Comment(s)
  • June 26, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    America doesn’t lose to those types of countries (except for the two world cups)

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