All around Worcester you see these donation bins where you can give your excess crap to charity. But as you will see, these things need to go:
This is why Worcester can’t have nice things. We don’t know what to do with it. These bins might work in Shrewsbury or West Boylston or Oxford. But you throw a few of these things in Grafton Hill and this is what you get.
Some people look at this pile of junk and think, “That’s pretty grimy looking.” But not Grafton Hill folk. Oh no, Grafton Hill folk look at that and think, “This would be a great place to shoot our newest rap video.”
Look, I have no idea who’s job it is to take care of this, but real cities don’t have shit like this lying around. This is what’s supposed to separate us from the Ware’s and Athol’s of the world.
And what’s really sad is most of this shit will disappear on it’s own. Largely because Worcester is filled with people who think like this:
See that? That’s the difference between the West Side and the rest of the city. The West Side wouldn’t put up with this shit. It’s why it looks nice. But Grafton Hill folk? To them this isn’t trash. It’s free shit. Dont like looking at a pile of trash in your neighborhood? According to Grafton Hill’s favorite dumpster diver John David, this makes you “Worcester’s elite.” This is why normal people leave Worcester. They’re forced out by the John David’s of the world.
And if you suggest that this is an eyesore to look at, this is what happens to you:
You want your neighborhood to look nice? Take that shit to Westboro. This is why Worcester can’t have nice things. Because of Grafton Hill buttnuts like John David. That’s why people like this leave Worcester:
and people like this stick around:
Some people are blaming it on the fact that we make people pay for trash bags. Fuck that. Paying for trash bags is one of the only things Worcester gets right. There are some grimy, grimy people in Worcester. And grimy Worcester folk have a special superhuman ability to produce six bags of trash per week.
I see trash bags in this city filled with Dunkin Donuts iced coffee cups, styrofoam containers covered in Golden pizza remnants, and empty milk cartons galore. Do these ding-dongs realize how much empty space that shit takes up?
These are the same people who pay no proerty taxes and purposely don’t recycle, despite the fact that it’s free, because they’re just that lazy. Shouldn’t they pay more? Shouldn’t you pay individually for the amount of trash your household creates? Of course you should. Any municipality that isn’t making you pay for each trash bag you use is ripping off people who are responsible for the sake of nudniks.
In the Turtleboy house we use one trash bag every three weeks, and 50% of the bag is filled with Turtleboy Jr’s dumps. If you haven’t figured out how to game this system yet then you’re a sucker.
Here’s a little Turtleboy tip. Every time you go to the grocery store grab 10-15 paper bags. They don’t care. The best ones are the ones from trade Joe’s because they have handles. Of course Worceter people wouldn’t know what to do with themselves at a Trader Joe’s, so this will largely fall on deaf ears.
Then what you do is throw some trash in the bottom of each recycling bag. After that you fill it up with your styrofoam containers, Burger King bags, Dunkin Donuts cups, and used paper towels, and no one’s the wiser. I have no idea where those bags go and who sorts out the coffee grinds from the paper and pastic. Not my problem.
Because we have adapted to the pay-per-bag system, we probably pay $15 a year for trash bags. But if we DIDN’T use the yellow city trash bag system, the rubbish disposal services would be added onto all of our property taxes, and you can bet it would be a lot more than $15.
Anyway, this relates to the donation bins because the people dumping their crap outside of them are the Dodo birds of the recycling game. They haven’t learned how to adapt to the yellow trash bag system. Let’s take a look at what they could do with this stuff….
OK, the bureau. When I see that, I immediately think “fire.” Let your kids smash that thing up by throwing it down a flight of stairs, and then go into your backyard, crack a few brewskis, and have a family camp fire. Everyone wins.
All those clothes? You can drop those all off at the Goodwill store at the corner of Grovr Street and Park Ave. They take everything.
The TV? That’s what I like to call “Leicester’s problem.” You take a quick drive into the middle of nowhere, walk 30 feet into the woods, and then nature takes care of the rest.
The bottom line is Worcester has to do one of two things. Either get rid of these things or make the Salvation Army start doing their job and pick this shit up more often. But we all know that nothing is gonna change, because at the end of the day Worcester is filled with proud dumpster divers who look at this trash and get a Worcester pants tent.