I don’t think that anyone would argue that the most notorious ratchet in the history of Turtleboy Sports is this woman:
She used to be known as the Fall River Guttermuppet, but now she’s just Guttermuppet. Because there can only be one. We’ve blogged about her more times than I can count, but if you’re not familiar with her this blog by SSTG best summarizes some of her greatest hits.
Anyway, we often get asked what she’s been up to lately and the answer is never, ever “making positive steps to get her crotch fruits back.” And in today’s episode she can be found no longer selling her body for drug money, but planning for her upcoming wedding in Woonsocket! There’s just a couple problems – she has no one to conduct the marriage, she doesn’t have a wedding cake, she has no money or transportation, and the groom will be dead in less than 30 days. So she’s doing what she does best and asking strangers on Rhode Island Facebook yard sale pages to hook her up.
Every time there is a Guttermuppet siting we get messages from turtle riders. And like clockwork there is always some poor soul who hasn’t read the blogs yet and unwisely attempts to offer help.
Bless your heart dear, but she’s not looking for anyone who is expecting any sort of financial compensation in return for their services. She just wants your money.
Another person offered her a link to a limo driver and baker, and as usual Guttermuppet was willing to put in exactly zero effort to follow up on her offer of help.
These poor people. It happens every time.
Meanwhile Guttermuppet has made some big changes in her life. For instance, she has pink hair now.
Her and her future husband Wayne Ferreira, who will be dead in thirty days according to Guttermuppet, got matching his and her tittooes.
It would’ve been so much better if his said Guttermuppet though. No one knows who the hell Cassandra is. And it’s unclear how long that tittoo will last on his rotting corpse this winter.
She didn’t explain what disease will kill him in less than 30 days, or what scam she’s trying to pull by marrying him before he allegedly croaks. But it appears as if their plan to “stay at home and save lives” did not work as planned.
COVID doesn’t kill people like Wayne, but Guttermuppet might.
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