Hoodrat Heroes

Guttermuppet Got Matching Tittoos With New Fiance And Is Asking Strangers To Finance Their Wedding Before He Dies In Less Than 30 Days


I don’t think that anyone would argue that the most notorious ratchet in the history of Turtleboy Sports is this woman:

She used to be known as the Fall River Guttermuppet, but now she’s just Guttermuppet. Because there can only be one. We’ve blogged about her more times than I can count, but if you’re not familiar with her this blog by SSTG best summarizes some of her greatest hits.

Anyway, we often get asked what she’s been up to lately and the answer is never, ever “making positive steps to get her crotch fruits back.” And in today’s episode she can be found no longer selling her body for drug money, but planning for her upcoming wedding in Woonsocket! There’s just a couple problems – she has no one to conduct the marriage, she doesn’t have a wedding cake, she has no money or transportation, and the groom will be dead in less than 30 days. So she’s doing what she does best and asking strangers on Rhode Island Facebook yard sale pages to hook her up.

Every time there is a Guttermuppet siting we get messages from turtle riders. And like clockwork there is always some poor soul who hasn’t read the blogs yet and unwisely attempts to offer help.

Bless your heart dear, but she’s not looking for anyone who is expecting any sort of financial compensation in return for their services. She just wants your money.

Another person offered her a link to a limo driver and baker, and as usual Guttermuppet was willing to put in exactly zero effort to follow up on her offer of help.

These poor people. It happens every time.

Meanwhile Guttermuppet has made some big changes in her life. For instance, she has pink hair now.

Her and her future husband Wayne Ferreira, who will be dead in thirty days according to Guttermuppet, got matching his and her tittooes.

It would’ve been so much better if his said Guttermuppet though. No one knows who the hell Cassandra is. And it’s unclear how long that tittoo will last on his rotting corpse this winter.

She didn’t explain what disease will kill him in less than 30 days, or what scam she’s trying to pull by marrying him before he allegedly croaks. But it appears as if their plan to “stay at home and save lives” did not work as planned.

COVID doesn’t kill people like Wayne, but Guttermuppet might.



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42 Comment(s)
  • Amber Vance
    June 4, 2021 at 3:26 pm

    I just worked for this lady and let me tell you you guys opened my eyes to who she really is.Everything you hear from her is a sob story and handouts

  • CaptainNotSavingAHoe
    October 17, 2020 at 7:09 pm

    She’s disgusting garbage, but Wayne was actually a really great guy. He looked so bad in these pictures, not because he was using anything (he wasn’t). He was in liver failure and really actually dying. She physically abused him, cheated on him and used his SSI checks. He was just not wanting to die alone and she took full advantage of it. He died yesterday with her in their apartment and now she’s using his phone and messaging all kinds of people (including his family… I’m a relative of his) looking for sympathy. And probably money.

  • Turd Furgeson
    October 5, 2020 at 9:38 am

    Wow, this writer is dumb. A ‘siting’ of her? Did you mean a sighting? It’s hard to take seriously a guy who makes his living by calling other people stupid.

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    October 5, 2020 at 7:57 am

    If he’s going to die, he better do it! And decrease the surplus population. ( Ebeneezer Scrooge)

  • micksmercantile
    Wastefield Bartender
    October 4, 2020 at 7:59 pm

    Ok….so the dude has exactly 30 days left? What is this that horror movie Death Date? Does his clock currently say 29 days, 4 hours, 12 minutes? Is his doctor psychic in order to have a precise time? Guttermuppet doesn’t even try with her rancid lies (or rancid life for that matter). Holy shit!!

  • Paul Reubens
    October 3, 2020 at 10:58 am

    I bet her snatch looks like a busted 1920’s catcher’s mitt

    • Edgar Winters Tanning Bed
      October 3, 2020 at 6:18 pm

      Nicely done.

    • Yogi Berra
      October 3, 2020 at 7:10 pm

      There’s nothing like the smell of rancid bear grease.
      I never said most of the things I said.

    • Spider Lips13
      Spider Lips
      October 5, 2020 at 11:24 am

      She sent a picture of her snatch to her boyfriend and he said ” if you’re still at Arby’s get me a number 3 with a Coke”.

  • The Wedding Singer
    October 3, 2020 at 10:16 am

    I’m starting a GoFundMe to change careers.

  • Brett Nuffburger
    October 3, 2020 at 6:21 am

    What’s the over/under on the divorce….20 days?

    • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
      Luke Fondleberg
      October 5, 2020 at 12:16 am

      Doubt it, she has to go the full 30 in order to get the “death benefits.”

      Those probably amount to several used cook spoons and a Social Security Number with which to activate new fraudulent lines of credit.

  • Follow The Money
    October 3, 2020 at 1:19 am

    Marriage completely fucks up “welfare” benefits . I’m trying to figure out the angle? Life insurance or inheritance don’t fit. Maybe get custody of kids for the child support?. SSI Disability Claim?….I’m sure we will find out in the next episode

  • Turtleboy hates poor people.
    October 2, 2020 at 11:02 pm

    Turtleboy loves to beat up on the poor and downtrodden.
    Give these people a break. They’ve had a hard enough life without you fucking them up even more.
    What’s next? Gonna steal a homeless person’s dog?

    I love that you rightwing fucktards think that you know economics purely because you hate poor people.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      October 3, 2020 at 8:46 am

      No one hear hates poor people.

      Turtleboy hates stupid people who fuck up their lives with continual bad idiotic choices.

      I know some legitimately poor people. But I also know a much larger percentage of ‘poor people’ who are poor because they make every fucked up choice in the world. Like getting matching tittoos and dying their hair kool aid colors but not having money for the basics in life. And trying a drug they already know is addictive and kills people but thinking it will never happen to them.

      It’s not a war on poor people. It’s a war on stupid people who should know better.

      • hartf811
        October 4, 2020 at 4:32 pm

        I don’t even “hear”poor people Capt.

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      October 3, 2020 at 12:16 pm

      Homeless people shouldn’t have dogs. The dog didn’t sign up to be part of a shitty life so yes I would steal and re-home it.

  • Gutter Muppet Honey
    October 2, 2020 at 10:10 pm

    Are we sure Wayne isn’t Shiva the Diva?

  • dough bro
    October 2, 2020 at 9:11 pm

    Holy Hell!!
    The space between that bikini looks like freshly plucked turkey! Wouldn’t wanna stuff that bird!!

  • Guinea Geisha
    October 2, 2020 at 8:34 pm

    Contributing to this wedding would be as helpful as rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

  • North of the Border
    October 2, 2020 at 8:00 pm

    And noticing her chiclets are slowly, but surely, dropping and/or rotting off her face. Another of the horrific side effects of herpegonasyphillaids.

    Maybe instead of exchanging rings, they could exchange used needles, and maybe forgo the cake and symbolically feed each other one last overdose.

    It’s the least they could do for each other–and us.

    • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
      Luke Fondleberg
      October 5, 2020 at 12:20 am

      Reading the diagnosis reminded me of the Futurama bit: ThunderCougarFalconBird.

      Excelsior to you.

  • Steaming Des Moine Candied Yam
    October 2, 2020 at 7:41 pm

    Aint Opiods grand?

  • Marv Albert
    October 2, 2020 at 7:37 pm

    I like how she pulls her pants up to cover that gunt
    she’s like a 3 star michelin hoe. esteemed professional

    yeah, ill pass

    • Reddog
      October 2, 2020 at 8:37 pm


  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    October 2, 2020 at 5:25 pm

    Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.

    • North of the Border
      October 2, 2020 at 7:55 pm

      Or thrust in them.

      Over, and over, and over.

  • FB Panhandler
    October 2, 2020 at 4:37 pm

    You really have to have zero sense of shame or personal responsibility to get on FM and ask for a free wedding much like a 4 year old would make a Christmas list.

    WTF take some responsibly and for god sakes NEVER – EVER – EVER wear a 2 piece bathing suit again!

  • Chief Qweef
    October 2, 2020 at 4:32 pm

    Wow, Dr Shiva really went downhill after he was on the live show. Poor guy

  • Fuckthem
    October 2, 2020 at 4:29 pm

    I know him and he is not dying . He has a drinking problem and last time I knew he shit out his liver . He sniffs coke . He works hard but he is a typical rican

  • Big Spender
    October 2, 2020 at 3:55 pm

    I’d probably give her a nickle to jerk off on her face, just sayin.

  • WarWack
    October 2, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    He died……
    But did her toof come back to life?

  • hartf811
    Filthy Animals
    October 2, 2020 at 3:36 pm


  • Warren Wilhelm Jr
    October 2, 2020 at 3:28 pm

    Wayne’s test results;

    HIV: Positive
    Chlamydia aka the clam: Positive
    Gonorrhea aka the clap: Positive
    Herpes: Positive

    All contracted through his nose obviously

  • Orion
    October 2, 2020 at 3:22 pm

    “And it’s unclear how long that tittoo will last on his rotting corpse this winter.”

    God damn, haha! Savage as fuck.

  • Fret
    October 2, 2020 at 3:17 pm

    His name is not John ?

  • John Diss
    October 2, 2020 at 3:04 pm

    Liver problems. The whites of them eyes are yellower than a cowardly Chinaman.

  • gomerdontcare
    October 2, 2020 at 3:01 pm

    Maybe him dying in 30 days is a planned event? She’s going to marry him and then kill him!

    • Blue Waffle Wendy
      October 2, 2020 at 4:38 pm

      Kind of like the movie The Ring, except with The Walking Dead extras

  • Gofuckyou
    October 2, 2020 at 2:53 pm

    A dying spicbone and a heroin addled whore. What could go wrong?

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    October 2, 2020 at 2:38 pm

    A match made in Heroin!

  • Pence/Tormentor 2024
    October 2, 2020 at 2:24 pm

    Lovely couple

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