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A bunch of people sent us this video, of what apparently seems to be a 16 year old Worcester girl taking a massive steamy dump in some guy’s driveway:
At first I thought that was staged. It was just too good to be true. Plus, the girl was so nonchalant about it. I mean this is the transcript of the exchange:
Guy: Yo, what the fuck are you doing in my driveway.
Girl: Taking a shit.
Guy: You’re a nasty piece of shit, huh?
Guy: You should probably get the fuck out of here.
Girl: Or what?
Guy: I come down there and beat your fucking face in.
Girl: Do it, I dare you.
(guy runs downstair Blair Witch style)
Guy: What, you think I’m fucking around?
Girl: Yo, I’m 16 dude, do it.
Guy: I don’t care. Really? You shit in a mother fucker’s driveway?
Girl: Yea, I did.
Guy: How nasty are you?
Girl: I don’t give a fuck.
Guy: You’re a grimy ass bitch. I see you around my house again I’m calling the cops.
Girl: Do it.
Guy: I will, you fucking nasty piece of shit.
Wow. Just another day in Worcester.
She doesn’t try to deny it. She doesn’t run. She just tells him point blank that yes, she is in fact taking a huge smash in his driveway. “Yup.” That was my favorite response. As in, yes I did and I wasn’t planning on cleaning it up either. I did however bring toilet paper and was planning on wiping my own ass. Zero fucks given. So Worcester it hurts.
His response was such a classic Worcester response too. “I’ll come down there and beat your fucking face in.” Many people might not say this to a woman, but if you’re growing up in a triple decker in Worcester you’ve probably said this to a girl more times than you can count. Of course he doesn’t really do it because it’s just something you say, even though she tells him he can. I think it’s safe to say they both knew that was an empty threat, which was a big reason why she chose not to run.
He sounded almost exactly like this guy from the “baby fucking wheel” video last summer:
And that almost makes me think this video was a set up. I mean, it’s just too good to be true. It was made to go viral. But then again, it is Worcester. And as Ron O’Clair can tell you, there are people shitting on other people’s property everywhere you look around the Woo.
Anyway, whenever I see a video like this I just think about Ed Augustus and Joe Petty and their plans to make Worcester some destination spot for Boston businessmen. I imagine the train coming into Union Station and all these suits getting out to check into the luxury hotel at Washington Square. Then the first thing they’re greeted by is a 16 year old taking a shit in public in broad daylight. Hilarious.
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