Is there anything more hilarious than a small business owner whining about people posting negative reviews on his page just hours after he maliciously left negative reviews for a business he’s never stepped foot in?

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Earlier today we published this blog about a bunch of Internet thugs who were giving Turtleboy advertisers 1 star reviews on Facebook, despite never doing business with any of them. We encouraged turtle riders to flood JJM Insurance and Smokestack Barbecue with positive reviews. The results are further proof of the power of the Turtleboy Sports Revolution. Here’s a small sampling:

Have we told you lately how much we fucking LOVE you people? What a beautiful day. You don’t see Turtlegram and Gazette advertisers showing that kind of support for Rotmans, do ya?

Anyway, turns out one of the people harassing JJM Insurance is also a small business owner in the area:

We didn’t tell people to go and give Eternity Ironworks one star reviews. Not our style. But since turtle riders are addicted to justice and revenge, they did it anyway. En Masse. And apparently Joshy boy didn’t like the way his own medicine tasted:

You forgot xenophobic, transphobic, homophobic, and a whole bunch of other phobias you can’t document with any sort of evidence. We win.

The best part was all these morons who couldn’t see the irony of someone maliciously giving negative reviews to a business they’ve never actually done business with, complaining about people doing the exact same thing to him:

Some sort of circus freak named Aeyo Odinflame says we’re racist. Sounds legit. Because this is the kind of chick everyone takes seriously.

Definitely.

You just can’t make this stuff up. The stupidity knows no bounds. I mean, they’re bitching and whining that that this guy is being dealt the biggest spoonful of Karma. He poked the turtle and thought he could get away with it. Big mistake.

Anyway, one of the turtle riders challenged them to come up with one racist blog Turtleboy has ever published.

This is the best she could find:

Newsflash dildo baggins – Adam Saleh is a professional Youtube prankster. He literally makes shock videos like this which he pretends are real so that dumb people like you will believe its racism. He makes money off of your stupidity. This is the best they can come up with to prove we are racist. Nuff said.

Naturally the next step in the progression was the Internet lawsuit:

Yea, false claims against a business they’ve never been to. Who would ever do such a thing?

Oh right. Luckily for these SJW hypocrites they don’t have to blow their load to pay Dick N Vulva’s expensive retainer fee. They’ve got their own lawyer working pro-boner:

You know Chris Daigle is serious because he comes with his own horse!!

That guy is NOT fucking around!!

There was more….

Ahh yes, career criminal Tovia Ben Shapiro is going back to him. Keep in mind that not only was this broke and smelly hippie arrested for squatting on public property when he wouldn’t pack up his tent and leave the Worcester Common, he also blockaded Kelley Square for five minutes and impeded an ambulance on its way to an emergency:

While the Kelley Square 4 were the only ones to stand trial (because we identified them) Tovia Ben Shapiro showed his loyalty to them by not turning himself in, thus forcing them to pay for his crimes as he hid behind the MLK sign.

Gutless. This is the kind of individual that doesn’t like Turtleboy Sports. Looks like we’re doing something right.

Finally to cap it off there was this thing:

Now that Samantha Allen got a real job we're looking for new talent at the Telegram. Maybe this fire gypsy wants to join our team!! pic.twitter.com/DCrU2tEte8

— Party Waren Kebber (@WebbDawgTG) December 27, 2016

Wow, this woman is high class!! I wonder if she wants to be a reporter for my newspaper!!! pic.twitter.com/OmNDmZVfne

— Party Waren Kebber (@WebbDawgTG) December 27, 2016

Her name is Sasha the Gypsy, and according to her it was OK for Josh to do what he did because he was just one man, and Turtleboy is an army:

And just to give you a glimpse into the idiocy involved in her thought processes, she asserted that Josh gave JJM Insurance a 1 star review because a guy with a JJM Insurance bumper sticker cut him off:

HAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! That might be the greatest thing I’ve ever read. I didn’t even know JJM made bumper stickers, but it’s all starting to make sense now!! And if you keep telling yourself that’s what happened it just might become true!!

Anyway, towards the end Josh realized he done fucked up, and he attempted to make things right by posting as his business page, and pretending that Josh wasn’t the one posting as the business page:

“We wholeheartedly support Josh’s right to attack another local business. But at the same time we think that’s wrong. But Josh is still our boy. Because I am Josh.”

Josh learned a valuable life lesson today that he should’ve learned a long, long time ago – Don’t. Poke. The. Turtle.

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