Social Justice Warriors

Hampshire College Students Demanded Obama Or Beyonce As Graduation Speakers, Freaked Out When They Got An Asian Doctor, And Demanded A Transgender Black Person

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Hampshire College had their graduation this weekend and it was the shitshow everyone dreamed Turtleboy’s favorite hippie college would be. Don’t know how we missed this story from a couple weeks ago, but I literally spit out my coffee and started laughing when I read this paragraph:

Hampshire College President Jonathan Lash announced that the college has selected a new commencement speaker in response to students who were upset that the original choice — Dr. Emily Wong — didn’t come from a pool of potential speakers suggested by students that included writer Ta-Nehisi Coates, singer Beyoncé Knowles-Carter, president Barack Obama and presidential candidate Bernie Sanders.

Wait…..what?? Let me get this straight. Students at Hampshire College actually get to submit a list of acceptable graduation speakers to the school President, and they ACTUALLY put Beyonce, Obama, and Bernie down as acceptable choices? This was a real list they actually thought would be taken seriously? Beyonce, Obama, Bernie. Sweet baby Jesus these are the dumbest mother fuckers who have ever lived.

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But wait, they invited some more people in case Beyonce couldn’t make:

Lash said he initially chose Wong because the college was unable to bring in the speakers nominated by graduating students. He wrote:

“We contacted most of the individuals on the students’ prioritized list. (Writer) Ta-Nehisi Coates is in Paris this spring and could not get away. (Actor) LeVar Burton and (anthropologist) Jane Goodall had scheduling conflicts. Patrisse Cullors (from Black Lives Matter) was going to be on maternity leave. (Actress) Lupita Nyong’o is in the midst of a demanding performing schedule. Bernie Sanders could not predict his campaign schedule.”

Lash also informed the community that Bill Nye, Rachel Maddow, Beyoncé Knowles-Carter and President Barack Obama did not respond to the college’s invitation.

Jane Goodall, Lupita Nyong’o, Billy Nye, Rachel Maddow, and LeVar Barton were the backup choices?? And if they couldn’t make it Tom Brady and Jonas Salk were next on the list.

And how much of a va-jay-jay is the President of this school? The students made this ridiculous list of speakers who would obviously not even respond to their ridiculous request to speak in front of their welfare school, and since he obviously couldn’t book any of them he went out and found a doctor who is both a minority and a woman. But apparently Dr. Emily Wong’s resume wasn’t progressive enough for the butthurt patrol:

“(I asked Wong) because my conversations with her felt so Hampshire-esque – she is a physician who is committed to using her scientific training to better peoples’ lives, specializing in infectious diseases in South Africa, where HIV/AIDS and tuberculosis disproportionately affect communities of color,” Lash wrote. “In turn, she was very excited to learn about a college where rigorous interdisciplinary work and a passionate faculty and student body converge into a force for radical social change.”

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Helping stop the spread of AIDS in Africa? Sounds like Asian privilege to me!! Get that weak sauce cisgender hate speech off of Hampshire College’s campuses. Instead they demanded a guy in a dress named Reina Gossett, because being transgender is so hot in the social justice warriors streets right now:


That chick looks like she could be playing strong safety at UMass. Just sayin. That’s a dude. Maybe if Dr. Wong had a wong then she’d still be the speaker. Lesson learned.

Like we’ve said a million times on here before, we blame the adults in this situation. The students are all morons. We know that. They’re not smart people. But people like this guy right here handing out diplomas:


President Jonathan Lash. I mean, look at some of these people getting diplomas:






This is not a real school. It’s not a real college. No employer would EVER take a resume seriously if this was where you got your bachelor’s degree. As you can see from the graduation, it’s literally a clown college.

But Jonathan Lash should know better. He DOES know better. He’s smarter than these nudniks. But he’s scared of them, and it’s easier for him to give into their idiocy than it is to actually teach them. Teach them that they are not in charge. Their opinions matter, but only to an extent. And when they put Obama and Beyonce on their wish list for graduation speakers, he can’t take them seriously so he has to get his own speaker. And if they don’t like it, then don’t go to graduation. In other words, fuck off.

This would be the best lesson he could ever teach these poor, helpless souls.


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20 Comment(s)
  • susan
    May 19, 2016 at 8:17 am

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  • RSoxGuy
    May 17, 2016 at 6:00 pm

    I can just see the horror of the parents thinking “I spent how fucking much to send (jr or daughter) here for this? Wtf?”

  • Drylaw
    May 16, 2016 at 11:51 pm

    What about Bill Cosby, he’s black, being persecuted by whitey and lives out west. If he knew sugar tits with the Baldwin scholar sash would be on stage he would come, I mean be a speaker. Might even give her some vanilla jello pudding

  • Publius
    May 16, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    We never interview anyone with Hampshire College on their resume. Ever. Are they even employable?

  • Light my fire
    May 16, 2016 at 4:49 pm

    And THIS is supposed to be free? That college is stupid for not charging them even more.

  • JoeMomma
    May 16, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    I guess Beyoncé only speaks at real colleges……..

  • BobnMic
    May 16, 2016 at 2:09 pm

    Yes so look at all the free time they have on their hands now so they can come onto to Turtleboy Sports and fuck with everybody that breathes. Fuck looking for employment. They are all unemployable. I’d take a kid with a GED over any one of these clowns all day long. They can’t even take their own graduation serious. In real life that is one of the most personal high achievements that one could feel.

    Not these fucking idiots. They make a mockery out of it much as what the rest of their SJW pathetic lives will evolve into. Talk about a generation that needs a big giant fucking bitch slap my God.

  • TiredOfThisCrap
    May 16, 2016 at 10:06 am

    Besides dumb-assery, what is that school known for? Lack of attractive students? Good God… I found the dog easier on the eyes then the neon orange blimp holding it. Pretty sure the attendees of that school collectively keep Birkenstock in business.

  • LivesInLowell
    May 16, 2016 at 9:31 am

    The amount of money wasted is astounding.

  • HH
    We're Doomed
    May 16, 2016 at 9:06 am

    That poor dog. Is that really blue dye in his fur?

    • clowncollegeindeeed
      May 16, 2016 at 2:08 pm

      Probably a “therapy dog” for its owner to be able to deal with all of the “hostility” on campus.

  • WormtownorBust
    May 16, 2016 at 8:55 am

    Lash and Co. are not interested in teaching these kids anything. They are only interested in their tuition money.

  • ItsAllABadDream
    May 16, 2016 at 8:21 am

    Ok, OK! I stand corrected. In a previous comment I made the assumption that Jennie was smart because she got into college. I now understand how wrong I was.


  • Judge Smails
    May 16, 2016 at 7:52 am

    Sweet mother of pearl. What the fuck is going on at that school. I hope that people in the business world pay close attention to this and under no circumstances hire someone that has graduated from this “college”. How can this school ever be considered as a place that can be take serious.

  • Turd Burglestein
    May 16, 2016 at 7:27 am

    They demanded a black transgendered woman and had specifically asked for 0bama or beyonce? Were those their first choices for a black transgendered woman? I would have thought the first wookie been their first pick.

  • larryS
    May 16, 2016 at 6:46 am

    Holy f*#k! I would have believed it if you said these were newly unearthed and restored photos of a ceremony at the Jim Jones compound. They’re all getting fired up before Kool-Aid time. Come to think of it, that would be a good solution to things at Hampshire college.

  • Maggie the Cat
    May 16, 2016 at 5:38 am

    These kids are pathetic losers.

  • Steven Stover
    May 15, 2016 at 11:42 pm

    Would a employer want someone who would take out a student loan for this silliness or go with a GED holder?

  • Reddog
    May 15, 2016 at 11:33 pm

    Future leaders of America.

    • Finnish Goalie
      May 16, 2016 at 9:27 am

      In their own minds anyway.

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