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Trigger warning – most turtle riders will probably disagree with us on this blog. But that’s OK, because it’s OK to disagree once in a while.
It’s supposed to be freezing balls on Thanksgiving, so schools around the state are moving their Thanksgiving high school football games to Wednesday night or afternoon, when it’s supposed to be slightly less terrible. Nowhere has this been more controversial than Braintree, after the Mayor himself made the announcement on the Twitter machine (further establishing that Twitter is in fact the “public square” for legal purposes):
To me this is perfectly reasonable. My only question is, why is the Mayor in charge of this? This is how you know you’re small time – when the guy in charge of your city or town doubles as the guy who schedules high school football games.
Lots of schools already play their Turkey day games on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. North Middlesex plays St. Bernard’s on Wednesday night every year. Worcester South plays Worcester North on Wednesday night every year. This really isn’t a big deal. If you open up your Christmas presents on Christmas Eve does that mean we don’t celebrate Christmas?
It also makes tons of sense, because Thanksgiving is going to suck balls. It’s supposed to be a high of 15 right now. If you wanna prove you’re a hardo by standing in 10 degree weather watching a pointless football game then you obviously are well endowed, the likes of which I could only dream of being. But as for me, if my kid was playing, I would much, much, much rather stand there watch in 30 degree weather than 10 degree weather.
There’s also nothing more overrated and pointless than Thanksgiving Day football in Massachusetts. People around here get off on it, but most of the rivalries are one sided and the outcomes of the games ultimately only matter to the chud Al Bundy’s who never leave town and still rant about it at the local spoke 20 years after the fact. If your team isn’t in the playoffs right now then ultimately all this is is a glorified bowl game. And don’t even get me started on bowl games. Spoiler alert – St. John’s is going to beat St. Peter Marian and Doherty is going to beat Burncoat. I don’t have to follow high school sports to know that.
In this particular case Milton vs. Braintree is a stupid tradition. In my professional opinion Braintree’s natural rival is Weymouth, not Milton. They’re both bigger schools, and for some reason Weymouth plays Walpole, even though they’re nowhere near each other.
Nevertheless the triggering has begun……
If you don’t show up to the game Thursday then your a true pussy
— Christian Zeidan (@ZeidanChristian) November 20, 2018
Christian is packing heat in his trousers, that’s for sure. If you don’t show up on Thursday in pads then by definition you are a pussy. Sure, there won’t be any refs or coaches, but real men only play football on Thanksgiving morning.
What a joke. I’d protest if this was during my senior year. Memory of a lifetime beating Milton on Thanksgiving. #letthemplay
— Zachary Burnes (@buunz0) November 20, 2018
If a high school football win is a memory of your lifetime, then your life sounds dulle and terrible.
So many people are whining about this game being “taken away from them”
The Thanksgiving Day Game is the most memorable game in football for Players & Cheerleaders. You cannot take this away from them. It’s tradition. Weather is part of the game, so dress accordingly Mr Mayor. Absolutely ridiculous.
— Tracey Doherty (@TrayrizzDoherty) November 20, 2018
Newsflash – they’re still playing. It’s just on Wednesday. Nothing was taken from your kids.
This Al Bundy is worried about how he will explain it to his children when they’re older:
“Hey Dad, did you win on Thanksgiving?”
—“No son, we would have been too chilly, so we played wednesday instead”
Football is played in the cold… don’t ruin the player’s most sacred football memories
— BodyCoyle (@BodyCoyle) November 20, 2018
And his son will obviously be scarred for life after hearing that one.
It’s mad disrespectful yo!!
The most disrespected I have ever felt in my entire life.
— Will Rutan (@will_rutan45) November 20, 2018
If playing a meaningless high school football game (and when the winner of the game has no implication on the postseason then it is in fact without meaning) on a Wednesday instead of a Thursday is the most disrespected you’ve ever felt in your life, buckle up because life is about to bitch slap in the grundle.
John here is still “haunted” by his Al Bundy ghosts.
I missed the opportunity to play in my Thanksgiving day game and it haunts me to this day. These boys look forward to this for 4 years. Please reconsider.
— JD (@JOHN_THE_D0N) November 20, 2018
And this triggered snowflake created a Twitter account just to let the world know how much this devastates him.
No Joe you won’t see me there. As a proud alumni i am embarrassed by this decision. So much so i made a twitter to reply to this. I’d be devastated if i was a senior and this got taken away from me.
— Matt A (@MatthewAnson6) November 20, 2018
How will he ever survive?
And of course they’ve started a petition:
Sign the petition to support traditions https://t.co/qVNhxbKNes
— Jeff keane (@jeffreykeane) November 20, 2018
Anyway, it’s happening all over the state and the Braintree people are the only ones who seem to be blowing a gasket. Check the Turtlegram and Gazette’s Twitter feed – half the schools are doing this.
FOOTBALL: St. Peter-Marian vs. St. John's will now be played at St. John's at 10:30 a.m. Thursday
— Worcester T&G Sports (@tgsports) November 19, 2018
FOOTBALL: The Shepherd Hill vs. Tantasqua game has been moved to 5:30 p.m. Wednesday at Tantasqua
— Worcester T&G Sports (@tgsports) November 19, 2018
Thanksgiving Game has been changed to Wednesday night at 6PM at Doyle Field. Yes, it is official!!! Wind Chill 10-15 degrees below zero at 10 AM Thursday.
— Leominster Athletics (@LeomAthletics) November 20, 2018
There’s hardly any blowback on any of those tweets. A lot of people actually agree with my take on it, because they’re sane and don’t feel the need to prove hardo status by announcing to the world how much they enjoy standing outside in freezing balls conditions. Get over it. You’ll be OK.