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Harriet Tubman Is A Winner And Turtleboy Only Wants Winners On $20 Bills

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We’ve seen a lot of people buzzing about the new $20 bill which will feature Harriet Tubman on it, officially benching 7th President Andrew Jackson for good. I’m not sure why this is a controversy, but it is. To me it’s not a big deal at all. Harriet Tubman is an American hero. She was a gun-toting, no fucks given champion who not only escaped the horrors of slavery, but continued to risk her life by saving more and more slaves via the underground railroad. She’s one of the greatest Americans to ever live, and anyone who has a problem with her being on the $20 bill is a moron.


This was our favorite comment of the day we found in the vast landscape of Internet comments:

“So essentially the black version of Sarah Palin will be on the $20 bill and the democrats are truly clueless about what she stood for.”

Oh sweet Jesus. Yea, a woman who helped take down the greatest institutional injustice in American history is basically the same thing as a failed vice presidential candidate who thinks Syria is something you eat for breakfast.

Anyway, what we’ve seen from a lot of conservatives, including Donald Trump, was that this was some sort of political correctness. Look, we hate PC around here at Turtleboy Sports, but you can’t overuse that term. It’s like when the PC crowd calls everyone racist. It starts to lose its meaning if you toss it around so liberally. Putting an American hero on our currency isn’t “politically correct” just because she happens to be black and female. I get where this is coming from, but this is something no one should have a problem with. This isn’t Bruce Jenner being forced down on our throats, it’s someone who actually did great things and is being honored for it.


Oh yea, and for what it’s worth, Andrew Jackson would probably be pretty psyched about this. After all this is a guy who HATED banks and paper currency. He destroyed the national bank while he was President and putting him on the $20 was basically the Treasury Department laughing at him because in the end Jackson lost. By taking him off the $20’s we are putting Wacko Jacko out of his misery.

However, my beef with the PC crowd is not that they want Tubman on, it’s that they demand Jackson be taken off. They point out the trail of tears and the fact that he was a southern slave owner. That excuse is just PC revisionist history. Washington and Jefferson were slave owners too but they were a product of their times. At the rate we’re going, a hundred years from now they’ll probably think you were a bigot if you had a problem with someone banging their sister.


Here’s my question – why does each bill have to have just one face? Do fortune cookies all come with the same fortune? When you grab a coke now it always says some person’s name on it. When you get a quick pick at Cumby’s you always get a different number. When I was a kid I used to collect coins because I was a loser like that. I had this book where you try to get one of each coin for each year, because they engrave the year that coin was made right on them. Why not with faces?

Anyway, here at Turtleboy Sports we like winners. Harriet Tubman was born a slave but got away because she was a winner. Then she went strap for strap and started giving more people their freedom. Eventually the cause she was fighting for won out, because all Harriet Tubman did her entire life was win. Meanwhile everything Jackson fought for pretty lost in the end. We have banks, paper currency, and the Indians have casinos. I’d much rather look at a winner like Tubman than a loser like Jackson every time I go to open up my wallet.




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47 Comment(s)
  • Joe Max
    April 26, 2016 at 11:19 pm

    I rather see James Brown on the twenty. His arrest mugshot !

  • BobnMic
    April 25, 2016 at 11:14 pm

    Harriet Tubman is an excellent choice. I had in mind Abigail Adams or Rosa Louise McCauley Parks. Known widely as Rosa Parks.

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      April 26, 2016 at 12:02 am

      This particular post isn’t the place for intelligence. I’m officially hiding from this one in fear of losing my hope for humanity… Apparantly there are a few racists and dumbo credit card junkies I offended here. The list is getting a lil’ longer lol.

      • BobnMic
        April 26, 2016 at 12:17 am

        I have your back Fiesty. Always. I love your spunk!

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          April 26, 2016 at 12:32 am

          That’s because you’re nice with a side of crazy, just like me!

          • BobnMic
            April 26, 2016 at 12:43 am

            Fuckin’ A! Well described. I guess you know me now. A koo koo head with a small assemblance of a normal person. I can roll with the crazies and get serious at the drop of a dime. Just like you I suspect.

      • Trump's boy penis
        April 26, 2016 at 7:12 am

        Holy shit lady. I’m not a credit card junkie. I just pointed out that it is possible to use one and not be charged interest, because that is exactly why you said you never use one, and YOU got all butthurt cause I pointed out something idiotic YOU said. YOU where the one who got offended. Not me.

        Christ you have thin skin.

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          April 26, 2016 at 7:50 am

          Good morning sweet cheeks. Safe to assume you are in love with me at this point? <3

          • Trump's boy penis
            April 26, 2016 at 10:00 am

            Buenos dias

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            April 26, 2016 at 10:42 am

            I can feel it in the air!

            Igualmente, mi amor!

  • juror seven
    April 25, 2016 at 7:37 pm

    I’ll give it another go. At the bank when I present a check made out to cash they always ask how I want the cash. (what denominations) I plan on asking for only fifties, tens and fives.

  • Steel
    April 25, 2016 at 4:57 pm

    Will the ink be green?

  • Reddog
    April 25, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    Coming from a guy who calls himself a penis

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      April 25, 2016 at 7:09 pm

      Don’t disagree with him ever. He will just try and berate you anytime he finds the chance.

      Sorry that I prefer not to be in debt just to have a bunch of materialistic items that serve no purpose. I guess the average person enjoys borrowing money instead of working hard, saving, and then buying nice things.

  • Trump's boy penis
    April 25, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    Lawyer lady,

    I’m not going to continue this conversation. You can bring a horse to water but you can’t teach it to drink.

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      April 25, 2016 at 4:15 pm

      I know, you should cave in soon. You are seconds away from death by dehydration.

  • Tudor turtle
    April 25, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    Frankly; I rather see Mr. Spock on the twenty dollar bill.

  • Chris From Georgia
    April 25, 2016 at 1:19 pm

    Waiting for liberal heads to explode when they realize that Harriet Tubman was a Christian and a Republican!!!! She replaced one of the founders of the Democrat party!!1

    • tim
      April 25, 2016 at 2:14 pm

      On earth, abolitionists’ heirs are Democrats. She was a Republican in the sense of Abe Lincoln, not Strom Thurmond, Trent Lott and Ted Cruz. Do you even keep a straight face when you say that, or do you think she’s a Palinite too?

      • Trump's boy penis
        April 25, 2016 at 2:39 pm

        Conservatives throw that around all the time. “Republicans voted against slavery and democrats for it”.

        That’s typically how I pick out the dumb ones. Absolutely no knowledge of US History, specifically the history of the Two Party system, and the transformations of each that have lead us to the current “ideologies” if each party.

        Learned that shit in middle school.

        • Rod
          April 28, 2016 at 7:31 am

          How’d you learn that with your head in the toilet getting a swishie?

      • Chris From Georgia
        April 26, 2016 at 8:53 am

        What alternate Earth is this?

    • Realist
      April 25, 2016 at 6:38 pm

      The only head that will be exploding is yours when you realize how misinformed you are!

      • Chris From Georgia
        April 26, 2016 at 8:53 am

        Was that your head that just exploded?

  • Keen Observer
    April 25, 2016 at 12:33 pm

    What’s next – Oprah?

  • juror seven
    April 25, 2016 at 12:28 pm

    First comment of the day just went to never, Neverland.

  • Nai
    April 25, 2016 at 12:11 pm

    For all the crybabies out there, just flip the bill over as Jackson will be on the back of the Tubman bill!

    I’m glad that they chose to honor a selfless hero….. better than their trying to put Barack on it! Which is probably going to be next….

    • Finnish Goalie
      April 25, 2016 at 12:13 pm

      As you say, Jackson will still be on the bill.

      I don’t mind this revamping.

      I’d have rathered say Abigail Adams for a local lady, but oh well.

      I like the concept of revamping the backs with events that happened at the Lincoln Memorial, Treasury Building, etc.

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    April 25, 2016 at 12:02 pm

    Doesn’t bother me one bit… I don’t even carry much cash anyway. I don’t have a credit card because those are useless, “Let me buy this on credit for $100 and then actually pay $125 for it down the line because of awesome interest.” No thanks! So, debit card it is. I wonder where the people who accuse TB of being racist are… I mean, you endorsed a black woman on a $20. Where are the racist cry babies?

    • Trump's boy penis
      April 25, 2016 at 1:02 pm

      Your a lawyer and you don’t understand how credit cards work. You do realize you only pay interest if you are late paying off the debt you owe.

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        April 25, 2016 at 1:18 pm

        UMMMMMM……. LOL? People choose to pay only the minimum every month which leads to paying interest. There is MORE than one way you pay interest charges, genius. Were you born yesterday? I bet you wish there was a delete button sometimes, huh? Moron!

        Everytime I see your name in the recent posts, I always know you’re going to sit on my fictitious dick and ride it like a cowboy.

        • Trump's boy penis
          April 25, 2016 at 2:23 pm

          Just because people choose to pay only the minimum every month doesn’t mean you would have to pay only the minimum every month.

          So you said you don’t have a credit card because you don’t want to pay interest, when in reality the only time you would have to pay interest is when you are unable to pay the full amount. You being a lawyer I would assume you would have funds available to pay off the full amount every month.

          The more you comment the less I believe you are a lawyer. Not because of your choice in vernacular, rather the inability to understand relatively simple concepts.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            April 25, 2016 at 3:08 pm

            What concerns me is the fact that your initial statement was wrong and you are attempting to justify your fucking stupidity. Maybe you should have been a lawyer instead of me because you argue even when you’re wrong; I just can’t fathom doing such a thing because I have a trait called, “dignity.”

        • Trump's boy penis
          April 25, 2016 at 3:21 pm

          From google:

          “As long as you pay the balance in full by the due date each month you shouldn’t be charged any interest. For most cards, If the previous month you paid, by the due date, the total balance as of the billing date, then no interest is charged on purchases made that month if you pay the balance by the due date.”

          I’m not “fucking wrong”. Do they not teach you how to use google before opening your mouth and looking like an idiot in law school.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            April 25, 2016 at 3:37 pm

            Holy Mary Mother of God!! You can’t be serious! The fact that you even started your reply off with, “From google” almost gave me a stroke.

            Why I’m here having to give a financial lesson to an asshole like you is beyond my understanding.

            Your initial post claimed that one will only pay interest if the balance isn’t paid in full. That claim is WRONG as I have proved already. I don’t even wish to explain further how stupid you are because anyone with a brain can see you’re grasping so hard while you try to redeem yourself.

            See ya, dumb dumb.

      • tim
        April 25, 2016 at 2:16 pm

        You’re the one who doesn’t understand how cards work. They’re set up to borrow at 1% and lend ast 15%m tolerating 2-5% in credit losses. That’s the business, a ridiculously easy one.

        • Trump's boy penis
          April 25, 2016 at 2:31 pm

          Are you trying to tell me I don’t know how my credit card works.

          • GoneWest
            April 25, 2016 at 6:32 pm

            I use a credit card for everything and have never once paid interest on it. With the points I accumulate, Chase is paying ME to use it. If lawyer lady was any smart she’d being doing the same thing.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            April 25, 2016 at 6:58 pm

            I’m smarter than you sweety, I use cash. No need to borrow money to buy things. If you have to borrow money to buy items that are not cars or homes, than you are financially irresponsible. If you don’t have the cash to pay for what you want or need, you either need to find better employment or don’t buy the things you desire until you can truly afford them

            Debt, the average American way… It’s why you can’t grasp what I’m saying.

  • Jay
    April 25, 2016 at 11:56 am

    Oh fuck off Turtleboy. Jackson was the most badass president we’ve had and he took out the big banks for the American people just like Bernie Sanders wants to. Tubman is a very ugly woman who most people don’t even know. Read up on Jackson and just how much of a winner he was. He defined winning back then.

    • Finnish Goalie
      April 25, 2016 at 12:11 pm

      The man went through five Secretaries of the Treasury and four Secretaries of State.

      • Jay
        April 25, 2016 at 12:17 pm

        The man was shot in a duel, raised his gun anyway and shot the other guy right by the heart. Andrew Jackson beat a would-be assassin with a cane so bad the other congressmen pulled him off because he was being too rough. If that man isn’t a winner I don’t know who is.

        • Finnish Goalie
          April 25, 2016 at 12:29 pm

          Yes yes. We’ve all seen the Cracked video.

    • April 26, 2016 at 12:51 am

      He didn’t do much winning in the election of 1824

  • Practical
    April 25, 2016 at 11:53 am

    We still got New Orelans and Mardi Gras.

    Thanks, Andy!

    • Finnish Goalie
      April 25, 2016 at 12:15 pm

      Does Jackson have a specialty yard drink named after him?

    • Ralph
      April 28, 2016 at 6:46 am

      I think Prince should be on the $20.

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