Sports

High School Girls Purposely Lose Postseason Basketball Game, Dooshnozzle Administrators Suspend Them

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The big news is in sports the last couple of days has been a high school girls basketball game from Tennessee. When the Riverdale High School and Smyrna High School girls basketball teams met in the District 7-AAA consolation game Saturday night, the winner would have to face national power Blackman in the semifinals of the Region 4-AAA playoffs, while the loser would play a weaker team. AKA they were both incentivized by the system to lose.

Only two teams from the region advance to the state sectionals. Since both teams already got their ass kicked by Blackman this year, the only way to advance to the state sectionals was to lose in the consolation game and be placed on the opposite side of the bracket as Blackman. So, obviously then both teams intentionally tried to lose. Because that’s what you were SUPPOSED to do in that situation.

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From the Daily News Journal:

In the report, the referee noted that Riverdale “missed 12-16 free throws intentionally.” And that Smyrna “wouldn’t get the ball across the half-court line to get a 10-second count or to make us call an over and back violation intentionally.”

The referee said “one time a Riverdale girl looked at one of the officials and gave the official a 3-second signal wanting him to call three seconds on her. Smyrna stood in the lane as well to have us call three seconds on them.”

The referee wrote that he finally called the coaches together for a meeting after “a Smyrna player was about to attempt a shot at the wrong basket (but there was a 10-second violation call before they attempted the shot) on purpose.

“That was when I called both coaches together and told them we are not going to make a travesty or mockery of the game. WE ARE NOT GOING TO START TRYING TO SHOOT AND SCORE FOR THE OTHER TEAM.”

Smyrna ended up winning 55-29, but only after the principal literally came up to the coach during the game, with Smyrna up 30-25, and demanded that he put the starters in and start trying to win the game. After that the coach – Shawn Middleton – had no choice but to win.

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Guess what? I am 110% cool with this. They did EXACTLY what they should’ve done in this situation. But of course assholes run high school sports so the Tennessee version of the MIAA has kicked both teams out of the postseason. The school’s principals tried to make it so just the coaches were suspended, but the suits with the power said that since the girls were intentionally missing shots, turning the ball over, and asking for violations to be called on them, that they were in on it just as much as the coaches. Now they’re on double secret probation next year and both schools were fined $1,500.

Fuck this. You know whose fault this is? The idiots who created a tournament where the loser of a consolation advances to the next round. What a stupid, stupid way to run something. This is what happens when everyone gets a trophy. They’ve created a system where losing is more beneficial than winning. THEY are the ones who fucked up. Any nitwit with a brain could’ve seen this one coming. The administrators are the ones who should be suspended on account of their nudnikery. And now you’re mad at the team for recognizing this and using it to their advantage? Get the hell out of my face.

This is just another example of high school administrators and governing boards tossing their weight around at the expense of children. It’s the first time in their pathetic lives they have a small amount of power and they’re going to use it. They easily could’ve just told the coaches that they will be suspended, since it’s not about the coaches – it’s about the kids, right? Oh wait, I forgot. Governing boards don’t give a shit about kids. Their primary purpose is to validate their own existence by being dooshnozzles and enforcing stupid, meaningless rules, rather than admitting that they created a shitty system that incentivizes losing.

A lot of people are playing the, “It’s about the children card.” Get out of my face with that jive. Of course we want to teach our children valuable life lessons. And the lesson here is that in life you shouldn’t always do what seems obvious. Morons will do the obvious thing and that leads to long lines. Instead you should use your brain and see if there’s something counter-intuitive that others haven’t figure out yet, which will ultimately be in your best interests. Do you understand how many people graduate from college and don’t understand this? I’d estimate 90%. Because when you’re taught that you should blindly follow a certain path you’re pretty much setting yourself up to work in a cubicle the rest of your life.

Let’s look at some of the highlights. First you have one of the girls intentionally bouncing the ball in front of her defender hoping it will be stolen. The girl refuses to steal it so the offensive player purposely goes backwards and gets a half court violation:

Listen to the self-righteous dooshnozzle whining about sportsmanship. Hey asshole, you’re at a Division 7 high school game that you knew neither team wanted to win before it started. Your life has hit rock bottom. And you’re sitting here whining about “sportsmanship?” Would you rather they pretend to try? Would you rather they be more subtle about the tanking? Would that make you feel like you got your money’s worth at this girls high school basketball game? I know you don’t realize this because you live in a state without professional basketball, but losing on purpose is pretty standard procedure in the NBA. Just ask Knicks fans.

Then you have this girl missing free throws intentionally:

That’s still way better than Rajon Rondo shoots. It’s like, would you rather she miss the shot so long as it came closer to going in? Would that make people feel better. Newsflash – missing free throws is standard in many games. A team is down by two points with one free throw left and a couple seconds remaining on the clock. What do you do? You miss on purpose and hope for the rebound of course. Why? Because it’s in your best interest to do so. Same exact situation here.

And look at who these kids have to look up to. Have you seen what the Philadelphia 76ers do every year? They don’t even pretend to try and they’re being paid. And guess what? The fans love it. Every time the Celtics lose a game I get a tingly feeling inside because I convince myself that this is finally the year we don’t get fucked over in the lottery. But I dream.

And it’s not just basketball either. How did the Colts get Andrew Luck? Oh yea, losing every single game on purpose. Didn’t see anyone getting fired up about that. Or how about when the Patriots purposely lost to Buffalo in week 17? Were these dooshnozzles pissed off about that too?

Here’s a simple solution to all of this – the refs should’ve told them that the LOWEST score wins. Think about that for a minute. If you win by having a lower score you can help yourself by scoring on the other team’s basket, right? So both teams would do whatever it took to keep the other team from intentionally trying to score for them. At least then the girls high school basketball diehards can see a competitive game.

The bottom line is that schools are places for learning about life. And life is cutthroat. Kill or be killed. Do whatever it takes. The coaches here gave the girls an invaluable lesson about life, and of course a bunch of whining assholes and administrators have to ruin it for them.

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14 Comment(s)
  • J
    February 26, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    First of all its common sense to lose the game

    Second of all, you realize Memphis is in Tennessee? Last time I checked the Memphis Grizzlies were in the NBA

  • Non Sequitor
    February 26, 2015 at 2:14 am

    Sorry, turtleboy, you lose on this one.

    Whether or not the tournament rules were flawed, these coaches decided to turn turtle, roll over and play dead and not stand up and fight. That’s not exactly a message you want to send to high school kids (I won’t even say girls). If you can’t get what you want, abuse the system and/or play it to your advantage. Isn’t that what you usually rage against?

    This is high school sports, not college or pros. And while the MIAA have shown themselves to be about as corrupt and deceitful as FIFA or the IOC, it doesn’t mean tht every governing body is.

    Losing is for losers. Just because you’re pretty sure you’re going to get your ass beat by a powerhouse if you win that doesn’t mean you make an absolute mockery of a game. Sometimes the outcome doesn’t suit you. That doesn’t mean you take 25 items into the 8 items or less line, or park in the fire lane, or have another baby to get a bigger Welfare payment.

    Doing the right thing isn’t always easy. And high school is where you’re supposed to learn that.

  • Nick
    February 25, 2015 at 3:48 pm

    The episode of Southpark when the kids are purposely trying to lose so they don’t have to play baseball for the whole summer was better.

  • One Tall Dude
    February 25, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    “The idiots who created a tournament where the loser of a consolation advances to the next round. What a stupid, stupid way to run something. This is what happens when everyone gets a trophy. They’ve created a system where losing is more beneficial than winning. ”
    ———————————————————-
    Huh? The consolation game was in a different tournament, the District 7-AAA tournament. The results of those games determined their seeding in the bigger Regional Tournament, where the top 4 teams from District 7 were matched with the top 4 from District 8. It took two seconds to google that. This blog is dumb.

  • Tom Brady
    February 25, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    What do Tutrtleboy and Bruce Jenner have in common? They both have sand in their vagina!

  • Super Creepy Rob Lowe
    February 25, 2015 at 1:17 pm

    Because when you’re taught that you should blindly follow a certain path you’re pretty much setting yourself up to work in a cubicle the rest of your life.
    ……………………….
    Ahh yes, the most ridiculous claim of all time that gets tossed around now and again. That those of us who work office jobs are somehow fools and morons. That no nobility, honor, or hard work can come from a mere corporate office worker. That we’re all minions and peasants and victims to the conformity of society.

    You sit self righteous as if you’re above us measly office workers because you have a blog that provides you with moderate supplemental income for whatever else that it is you do, ignorantly unaware of the sheer hypocrisy such statements entail. Sure it’s ok for you to certain norms like social media usage & monitoring because it provides you your content. But I suppose blindly following that crowded path doesn’t count because it’s different, right? Different how? Your lifeblood of this blog thrives off of following everything in today’s world that is as main stream as it gets so you can spin your take on it. Why ‘sports’ is in the title of this blog, is beyond me. The only time you bring up sports is to alienate a fanbase or player who does something you feel you can make fun of either on social media, or in such a grand capacity it makes news. Usually you make fun of them for anything that suggests they aren’t run of the mill, everyday normal. You seek to entertain people by blindly doing what so many other sites before you have done, devoid of any originality in your approach to how you run this thing, and yet have the audacity to bash conformity? You define the essence of conformity in so many ways. This is so hypocritical on so many levels, that it baffles me someone could be that ignorant to miss how much of a hypocrite they are.

    But continue your smug, sanctimonious statements about conformity and destined to be in a cubicle- all the while ignoring its the works of people in a cubicle whom you talk so lowly of as if they are pathetic- it’s their work that ultimately allows food to be on our tables, money to move freely through our banks and our economies- software that runs your precious blog and all of the online content you use to fuel it- basically everything that allows you to do what you do- is provided for by these people whom you seem to believe are below you.

    You sir are pathetic. Plain, and simple.

    • Gonewestbutnotsoft
      February 25, 2015 at 1:29 pm

      Insults should be short and sweet. I honestly gave up after about 4 sentences. WAY too much time in your noble cubicle.

      • Super Creepy Rob Lowe
        February 25, 2015 at 1:33 pm

        Not insults, valid arguments. You should try growing up a little and realize adults have conversations with point-counterpoint and reasonable backing up of those points, not short succinct insults.

        • Finnish Goalie
          February 26, 2015 at 8:41 am

          The concept of the cubicle does get it’s share of disparaging comments. The popularity Dilbert probably has something to do with that the in the American psyche.

          While I feel this touched a bit more of a nerve with you than it should have, since there’s no actual profession attacked here, just a concept, I like the conviction.

          Though, I myself am glad I’m not in a cubicle anymore. Career changes can be a great thing. I think the cubicle concept gets the unfair comparison to people who let their dreams die so to speak and just came to accept a paycheck.

      • Mike
        February 25, 2015 at 1:42 pm

        For starters Rob Lowe makes some good points. sorry about parks & rec Rob.

        Secondly your insult back to him proved his point for him. He wins this one. Your insult is as shallow and thoughtless as it can get. Anyone with a job knows there’s gaps in a day and multitasking is easy, and anyone with an eduction can write a 3 paragraph response in less than 5 mins. I doubt he has too much time on his hands. He’s just smart and you seem like you aren’t.

        • One Tall Dude
          February 25, 2015 at 2:02 pm

          If Turtleboy is so smart and successful how does he drive around taking pictures of snow all day?

          • Super Creepy Rob Lowe
            February 25, 2015 at 2:54 pm

            Excellent point

  • So the writer of this article is a moron?
    February 25, 2015 at 11:57 am

    “Morons will do the obvious thing and that leads to long lines. Instead you should use your brain and see if there’s something counter-intuitive that others haven’t figure out yet, which will ultimately be in your best interests. Do you understand how many people graduate from college and don’t understand this? I’d estimate 90%. Because when you’re taught that you should blindly follow a certain path you’re pretty much setting yourself up to work in a cubicle the rest of your life. ”

    Hmm, I seem to remember a recent article where TB went to the Big E on a Saturday morning, blindly followed his GPS, then sat in long lines of traffic with the other 90% of the morons who couldn’t figure out a alternative. LMAO

    • Finnish Goalie
      February 25, 2015 at 12:23 pm

      Man, have you been waiting since September to strike with that?

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