Hoodrat Heroes

Hingham Pubetube Wants $80 After Him And Claptrap Girlfriend’s Truck Got Impounded And/Or Totaled In Maine, Not Willing To Pay In Felatios, While Selling Equipment On South Shore Yard Sale Pages From Failed Mini House Venture

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Here’s your South Shore Skeevemuffin of the week…….

Poor Stevie here is claiming to be stuck up in Maine and he is “down on his luck” with the ol’ meat wallet companion. Luckily some gas cards or cash should help them get back home to the South Shore where they can get back to doing what they do best – buying scratch tickets and destroying property value.

He’s been posting this plea everywhere:

Unfortunately this did not work out as planned:

But as you can see, this time they suddenly had $80, so they no longer needed your cash or gift cards. They were willing to pay.

Then the story changed.

Again.

This time around his truck was now impounded, he didn’t have the money to get it back, and he now needed free clothing and food as well. No money though. But here’s the twist – he will NOT be giving you sexual favors in exchange for transportation home:

Because apparently lots of people are lining up to send these two chumpalumpas food, clothing, and an Uber in exchange for a ratchet and cheese orgy sandwich with extra mayo:

The vokestache and pube goatee that acts as a magnet for influenza are just too much for some people to resist I suppose.

Problem is that he forgot that in a previous post he claimed that the truck was totaled, which is quite different from impounded:

But wait, there’s another twist – they’re also looking for an apartment to rent in Brockton:

Oh yea, this story checks out. Lots of people who are stranded in Maine begging for gift cards and denying sexual favors to imaginary people randomly decide that this would be a good time to start looking for an apartment to rent in Brockton.

And according to the pubetube, they have children together who live on the Cape:

And by the looks of her Facebook page, she’s fired three shots out of her semiautomatic baby bazooka.

Oh yea, she looks clean. If the tittoos don’t convince you of that then the floral pajama pants certainly should. Take a wild guess what she claims to do for a living……

What were the odds that she would be a CNA? I’ve never seen a ratchet CNA before. Ever.

Here’s the thing though – they both seem to have a shortage of Google trophies, which is out of character for ratchets like this. Trust me, I’ve been working here for over a year now. I can smell Google trophies.

According to pubetube’s Facebook page he lives in Hingham, which is what we searched for on the Google machine because looking for Steven Adams without writing “Hingham” after it brings you to some sportball team’s website. But does he really live there? Because I’ve been to Hingham many times. And I can’t imagine someone like this being able to afford to live in Hingham.

At the very last they’d pass some sort of town ordinance banning pubestache’s who like their own Facebook posts in order to force him out.

However, when you search his name on Facebook, you find a lot more. For instance, just days before he posted looking for gas cards and giving contradictory stories about his truck being impounded, Steven was selling a haul trailor in a Hingham yard sale page:

He was also selling a trailer flatbed in Randolph, which of course he was planning to use in order to build a mini house:

He’s down on his luck so he’s willing to trade it in for a “carormoter” cycle, or a boat. Whatever you have lying around in lieu of cash.

The next day he was selling a trailer frame with new tires in Hingham, which was also part of his failed plan to build a mini house:

And if that’s not enough he’s selling what appears to be new tires from his impounded truck for $800:

But wait…..how is he gonna deliver all this stuff to you if he’s in Maine? With a truck that’s both impounded and/or totaled, while also looking for apartments in Brockton.

Oh, and he’s also offering his welding services to you for $75 an hour:

Sure, you could search for a welder with a stellar reputation and good online reviews. Or you could go with the guy on Facebook who needs $80 to get home from Maine and still watches scrambled porn on a tube TV.

Whatever you think is better value.

I’ll tell you one thing though – I wouldn’t hire a welder who forgets about 9/11. And this patriotic gravy pourer right here NEVER forgets 9/11.

Ever.

Steven and/or Michelle Martin, we officially invite you on next week’s episode of Turtleboy Live featuring Gupta Patel to share your side of the story, and perhaps clear up any misconceptions people have about your journey back to the South Shore.

14 Comment(s)
  • Uncle Joe Biden
    June 29, 2018 at 9:34 pm

    Michelle, I heard what you did for a Klondike bar.
    Call me.

  • Robert
    February 13, 2018 at 4:53 am

    I know this smutty buddy personally her children in the cape she’s using as sympathy are my nephews that she does not have custody of because she’s a viscous addict notice these 2 shit bags are trying to get back from main but posting from Hingham and rockland morons turn off your location don’t waist your heavy hearts on these 2 your just supporting their habit

  • t
    February 12, 2018 at 8:18 pm

    Another shit story from SSTG to make her feel superior. I wouldn’t be inviting these two over for a game of Scrabble, but far as I can tell they’re just hustling for a buck.

    What’s the matter SSTG, still pissed at the world you weren’t voted Prom Queen?

  • I see sstg has done well with getting an edumacation Lmmfao
    February 12, 2018 at 4:05 pm

    I only got so far before stopping, leave it to Sstg to not understand anything…. I have no clue if this has got better but from what little I saw before giving up on a writer who’s a moron lol 1) they said they need a ride and would help out with gas for the driver with either cash or gift cards… 2) the next post of theirs they said they wanted food and clothes (not handouts, but was their reasons for finding a ride home… so they could get food and clothes at home). Just an educated guess lol people always wanna see what they wanna see I guess? Again, didn’t read the rest because the beginning started terribly, sorry? Lol

    • Well, No Shit
      February 12, 2018 at 6:59 pm

      So, how long have you known the two dirtbombs in the story? Are you a relative, friend, or someone they shoot up with? It has to be one of the three. 

  • Hmmm?
    February 12, 2018 at 3:20 pm

    This girl looks like she has some sort of Down’s syndrome for real

  • Hillary Clinton
    February 12, 2018 at 1:52 pm

    They look about as clean as my private email server during my time at the State Department!

  • Hugh Jass
    February 12, 2018 at 1:40 pm

    TB, DeDe sends her regards and is wondering when your next FB Live will be? Snicker…

    • PhilSimmsSucks
      February 12, 2018 at 4:12 pm

      Didi, don’t you have a dozen donuts to snort or something? Oh, and don’t let your trickbaby, Egypt, have any because you have to shove every crumb into that ugly mug of yours.

    • PhilSimmsSucks
      February 12, 2018 at 4:14 pm

      Didi, don’t you have a dozen donuts to snort or something? Oh, and don’t let your trickbaby, Egypt, have any because you have to shove every crumb into that ugly mug of yours.
      I noticed you signed off calling for your friend, Snickers.

    • Dumpy Didi
      February 12, 2018 at 4:42 pm

      Snickers is Didi’s favorite veggie. 

  • Hughbo Mont
    February 12, 2018 at 1:31 pm

    “semi-automatic baby bazooka” made me LOL.

  • 3 Chainz
    February 12, 2018 at 12:28 pm

    Da only O-lmpic event to watch is the niggaz who ski up with a gun, pop some caps an then ski da fuck outta there fast as them can before da cops catch em!

  • 3 Chainz
    February 12, 2018 at 12:20 pm

    Yo Bro why am there aint no Blacks gettin paid in gold at the O-limpics? Fuck is up an Fuck them racist shit!

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