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Here’s your South Shore Skeevemuffin of the week…….
Poor Stevie here is claiming to be stuck up in Maine and he is “down on his luck” with the ol’ meat wallet companion. Luckily some gas cards or cash should help them get back home to the South Shore where they can get back to doing what they do best – buying scratch tickets and destroying property value.
He’s been posting this plea everywhere:
Unfortunately this did not work out as planned:
But as you can see, this time they suddenly had $80, so they no longer needed your cash or gift cards. They were willing to pay.
Then the story changed.
This time around his truck was now impounded, he didn’t have the money to get it back, and he now needed free clothing and food as well. No money though. But here’s the twist – he will NOT be giving you sexual favors in exchange for transportation home:
Because apparently lots of people are lining up to send these two chumpalumpas food, clothing, and an Uber in exchange for a ratchet and cheese orgy sandwich with extra mayo:
The vokestache and pube goatee that acts as a magnet for influenza are just too much for some people to resist I suppose.
Problem is that he forgot that in a previous post he claimed that the truck was totaled, which is quite different from impounded:
But wait, there’s another twist – they’re also looking for an apartment to rent in Brockton:
Oh yea, this story checks out. Lots of people who are stranded in Maine begging for gift cards and denying sexual favors to imaginary people randomly decide that this would be a good time to start looking for an apartment to rent in Brockton.
And according to the pubetube, they have children together who live on the Cape:
And by the looks of her Facebook page, she’s fired three shots out of her semiautomatic baby bazooka.
Oh yea, she looks clean. If the tittoos don’t convince you of that then the floral pajama pants certainly should. Take a wild guess what she claims to do for a living……
What were the odds that she would be a CNA? I’ve never seen a ratchet CNA before. Ever.
Here’s the thing though – they both seem to have a shortage of Google trophies, which is out of character for ratchets like this. Trust me, I’ve been working here for over a year now. I can smell Google trophies.
According to pubetube’s Facebook page he lives in Hingham, which is what we searched for on the Google machine because looking for Steven Adams without writing “Hingham” after it brings you to some sportball team’s website. But does he really live there? Because I’ve been to Hingham many times. And I can’t imagine someone like this being able to afford to live in Hingham.
At the very last they’d pass some sort of town ordinance banning pubestache’s who like their own Facebook posts in order to force him out.
However, when you search his name on Facebook, you find a lot more. For instance, just days before he posted looking for gas cards and giving contradictory stories about his truck being impounded, Steven was selling a haul trailor in a Hingham yard sale page:
He was also selling a trailer flatbed in Randolph, which of course he was planning to use in order to build a mini house:
He’s down on his luck so he’s willing to trade it in for a “carormoter” cycle, or a boat. Whatever you have lying around in lieu of cash.
The next day he was selling a trailer frame with new tires in Hingham, which was also part of his failed plan to build a mini house:
And if that’s not enough he’s selling what appears to be new tires from his impounded truck for $800:
But wait…..how is he gonna deliver all this stuff to you if he’s in Maine? With a truck that’s both impounded and/or totaled, while also looking for apartments in Brockton.
Oh, and he’s also offering his welding services to you for $75 an hour:
Sure, you could search for a welder with a stellar reputation and good online reviews. Or you could go with the guy on Facebook who needs $80 to get home from Maine and still watches scrambled porn on a tube TV.
Whatever you think is better value.
I’ll tell you one thing though – I wouldn’t hire a welder who forgets about 9/11. And this patriotic gravy pourer right here NEVER forgets 9/11.
Steven and/or Michelle Martin, we officially invite you on next week’s episode of Turtleboy Live featuring Gupta Patel to share your side of the story, and perhaps clear up any misconceptions people have about your journey back to the South Shore.