Social Justice Warriors

Hippies Compare Patriots Duck Boat Parade To Blocking I-93

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Is it hypocritical that we celebrated the World Champion New England Patriots to parade through Boston but didn’t really care for all the hippies who blocked traffic all over the country because they didn’t get their way with the Darren Wilson non-indictment? Most people would say, “No, what kind of stupid question is that?” But we’ve found a couple hippies who actually believe this hilarious false equivalency. Check em out:


Yea she brings up a good point. It’s basically the same exact thing. Sure the hippies chained themselves to barrels on a busy highway during rush hour. Sure they didn’t have any permits and didn’t give people any warning that they’d be doing that so people could plan to go around them. Sure, everyone likes the Patriots and actually WANTED them to parade through Boston.

But besides that it’s basically the same exact thing.

Then we have this hippie on Twitter who trolls us a lot. Generally my policy don’t feed the trolls. But I’m gonna make an exception because he tweeted something similar to this hippie above:

Yea, you hit it right on the head there hippie Lee. Many of them were skipping work. Or used personal days. Or sick days. Or were on their lunch breaks. But the bottom line is they actually had a job that they had to figure out a way to get out of for a day to celebrate Boston’s 9th duck boat in 14 years. The hippies? Fuck it. They had nothing else to do so they might as well block traffic on a highway.

And I must say Mr. Hippie, assuming that white people are all middle class and employed isn’t racist at all. Neither is assuming that there weren’t any black people at the parade.



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The bottom line here is that the Patriots earned their right for us to shut down a small portion of Boston during the time of day when traffic is the lightest. They won the Super Bowl. The hippies earned nothing. They’ve done nothing their entire lives accept for use Mommy and Daddy’s money to buy ho-ho’s, become indoctrinated by idiot professors like my girl Sonya Conner, and make life inconvenient for people who don’t join their idiotic protests.

Oh yea, and the Patriots parade route was well-planned out in advance. It had the blessings of the democratically elected government that the people chose. It was meticulously planned out and ambulances and any other first responders had contingency plans to deal with it. There were firetrucks on scene at the parade that were on call and could’ve left at a moment’s notice had an alarm sounded.

The bottom line here is that people like the Patriots and sports in general because it’s an escape from our shitty lives. All week long people get out of bed at the crack of down, sit in traffic, work for some dooshnozzle boss, and come home to a house full of mouths to feed. It’s non-stop work. But once a week in the fall and winter we get to sit down and watch the Patriots beat the snot out of everyone else. We temporarily forget about how shitty the rest of the week is because at that moment nothing else matters. Without the Patriots we’d be as miserable as the protesters, which probably explains why they hate to see us enjoy this day.

Try harder hippies.

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6 Comment(s)
  • Finnish Goalie
    February 6, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    What? No comments from them saying, “does the whole world play football?”

  • joeMomma
    February 6, 2015 at 1:12 pm

    I pay property taxes so we can have parades.

  • Robby
    February 5, 2015 at 9:46 am

    My neighborhood is still covered in snow. Major roads are down to one lane and people are sitting in traffic for over an hour just to cross the neighborhood (a five minute drive), because the city has done no snow removal. They spent all night clearing the parade route instead. My friend couldn’t get to the hospital yesterday and nobody can get to work. I’m a Pats fan, but people being able to get to work are more important than a stupid parade. Nobody who actually lives here wanted the parade under these conditions. I pay fucking property taxes so the city will take care of my shit, unlike idiots from out-of-town who come here to get shitfaced a couple times a year. Hypocrite.

    • Jay
      February 5, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      you sound like a lot of fun to be around.

  • Devils mouthpiece
    February 4, 2015 at 10:02 pm

    Hippies SUCK! It’s that simple.

  • Coach 341
    February 4, 2015 at 9:55 pm

    That is awesome more reason for Mainstream America (We are all Patriots) to HATE the HIPPIES

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