Social Justice Warriors

Hippies Whining About Columbus Day Should Probably Just Shutup And Enjoy The Day Off

Christopher Columbus was no saint and he wasn’t even a very good explorer, but that doesn’t mean we need to change the name of this day because it doesn’t fit the PC agenda. 

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So today is Columbus Day and the trendy thing to do nowadays with the hippies is to complain about what a war-mongerer Columbus was and blah, blah, blah.

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Look, I’m well aware of history and I know that Columbus wasn’t exactly the nicest guy in the world. He believed in racial superiority, he was a capitalist, and he didn’t mind killing people who got in his way.

But guess what hippies? That’s the way world worked in 1492. When you saw something you wanted you went and took it. When you had something you wanted it you defended it until the death. Columbus took America because he wanted it and he had the technology, the money, the backing, and the manpower to do it.

Newsflash – the Native Americans would’ve skinned him and everyone with him alive if they had the opportunity to. You think the Natives liked all these white devils walking into their neighborhoods, speaking their fancy languages, and planting the flags of Europe all over the place? Nope. Some Native Americans chose to interact peacefully with Europeans, and others declared all out war. A lot of the times the white people were the provokers, and a lot of the time the Native Americans were the provokers. Even around Massachusetts countless villages were raided up until the 1800’s by random Native attacks. It doesn’t make the Native Americans barbarians. It just means they’re a product of their time. Just like Columbus was.

Here’s another question – why was it the Native’s land? Because they called fives on it? This meme is very disingenuous:

columbus day meme 1

If my neighbor tries taking my house then I’m calling the cops and the courts won’t allow him to do that. But that system didn’t exist in America in 1492. Therefore it’s a stupid meme.

Unless there’s a court of law dictating who gets what land, then it belongs to whoever takes it. America is one of the greatest lands in the world because we’ve got prime real estate. Rivers, mountains, forests, natural resources. You name it and America’s got it. So why did the Native Americans automatically get this whole gigantic land mass for themselves? Because they called dibs? Because they were here first? If I start building a house on a vacant lot it doesn’t mean that lot belongs to me.

All these people whining about Columbus I want you to take a look around you? See all this nice shit we have that other countries don’t have? Yea, we have that mainly because we were imperialized by advanced Western European countries. The stronger, more advanced group of people survived and our society benefitted as a result of it. Welcome to Darwinism. Thanks to this survival of the fittest the western world has the highest levels of literacy, per capita income, the best roads, the best schools, the best infrastructure, and the most jobs.

In conclusion, Columbus was probably a huge dooshnozzle and I’m not convinced he necessarily needs his own day. Leif Errikson got here way before him, but clearly Italians are better at machine politics than Scandinavians. But we NEED a day off around October 12, especially in New England. It’s kind of the last weekend where you know the weather will probably be good. The leaves are bright orange, yellow, and red all over the place. It’s a perfect day to get out and enjoy the day with the family instead of going to work. The bottom line is that the kids need a day off from school and we need an excuse to give it to them. Kids all know who Columbus is so we went with that. Now shut up and enjoy the fact that you didn’t have to go to work today.


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14 Comment(s)
  • jeff
    October 17, 2015 at 10:43 pm

    I know the guy who writes these articles is a fat Virgin….

  • typical white person
    October 14, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    Excellent article, and very intelligent comments. Love it. Turtle riders are a smart, articulate group! If only the truth were taught to our kids in school.

  • Kevins 9 Iron
    Frank Lee
    October 14, 2015 at 11:38 am

    Christopher: “You gotta admit they did get massacred, them Indians”
    Silvio: “It’s not like we didn’t give them a bunch of sh#t to make up for it.”

    The Sopranos was just the best!

  • Tank
    October 13, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    You can’t judge people of the past by the moral standards of the present. It doesn’t work. Did you know that MLK was against abortion and gay marriage? By that logic, he must have been evil, right? Anyone complaining about Columbus today needs to realize that in 500 years, people will look back at the people of our time and think a lot of the things we did were immoral and wrong. Even those of us who are so sure they’re “on the right side of history.” Just celebrate the man’s accomplishments for what they were worth and as Turtleboy said, enjoy the day off.

    • October 13, 2015 at 11:38 pm

      Yes like abortion and gays in parades/marriage will still be wrong in 500 years. These only occur in the land of the locked up and home of the grave.

  • Maggie the Cat
    October 13, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    I have an old, long out of print book called The Musket and the Cross. It was published in 1968, but it’s so politically incorrect that it could never be published today. I wouldn’t even mention it now except I think the author (Walter D. Edmonds) is long dead, so the hippies can’t hurt him. It’s nonfiction, based on actual records of the early Europeans in North America. It’s mostly about the interaction of the French and the natives when the French first started colonizing Quebec and the missionaries started trying to convert the natives to Christianity. Parts of it are also about New England and New York, but all in all it certainly puts a lie to the phrase “Noble Savages”. It’s absolutely terrifying to read. I’m sure the hippies would never consider reading it, even though it’s the truth. Simply denying history doesn’t make it go away, whether it’s the history of the Taino and Arawak tribes of the Caribbean or the history of the Native Americans of Northeast America. Or any other history, for that matter.

  • Larry Mondello
    October 13, 2015 at 10:14 am

    King Philip’s War. Sorry. Prince Philip on the brain.

  • Larry Mondello
    October 13, 2015 at 9:45 am

    Columbus wasn’t the first to get there but he was the first to establish real contact between the continents. He could be a brutal bastard but in the context of the times he sailed for Spain, the most fanatical nation on earth, who would stop at nothing to get what it wanted. The Romans considered the Spanish as the finest warriors greater than even the Goths and Celts. Hannibal took his elite troops from Spain. As Sab says the Native Americans were here first but they migrated from Asia. Hippies believe the myth of the Nobel Savage, where we came in and destroyed a pure back to nature culture consisting of millions of Native Americans. In reality there were a couple of hundred thousand nomadic warriors. Like any other race, some beautiful souls, some killers, most in between. They often fought each other and would travel several hundred miles to attack an enemy. Like the Europeans they could also be brutal. The French and Indian and Prince Philip War had higher percentage of deaths than any wars in our history. Go see the mass grave in Deerfield or find out what happened in Brookfield. A fight for survival in a tough era. We’ve become pussified. They also want to get rid of Christmas. So fuck em and enjoy the holiday.

  • Carlo's Daddy
    October 12, 2015 at 9:00 pm

    Since when is there anything wrong with Capitalism? The United States was built on Capitalism… Beats the shit out of our current Socialist structure under Obama.

    • October 13, 2015 at 1:33 am

      Built on capitalism? We’re not even a democracy, we’re a constitutional republic. We just watch Obama,bush,Clinton,bush,Reagan,carter,ford,Nixon,Johnson,and Wilson fuck up this country,America 1789-1913.

  • Sab
    October 12, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    Two small minor additions, native Americans did not originate from North America. Shocked right? I know. Their nomadic ancestors crossed the land bridge that at one time connected Asia to Alaska and settled, or roamed throughout the Americas. Also, these tribes were at a constant risk of war with other tribes, either dying at the hands of, or becoming enslaved by the stronger, bigger, and fiercer tribes. The strong literally did survive, but hippies don’t like those facts, so they made up their own narratives which they happily spew to our kids in schools. TB’s history is dead on accurate

  • Finnish Goalie
    October 12, 2015 at 7:32 pm

  • Russ
    October 12, 2015 at 6:30 pm

    Get rid of all the holidays. Let your employer give you one day off a month to celebrate any way you want. If you don`t work get a job, and another thing. Why does it have to be Something/American, ie… Italian/American, Native/American, African/American?? Are there Italian/Africans, African/Italians, Irish/Africans. Your an American or your not. If your not or don`t want to be then G.T.F.O.Just saying!!

  • Wtf
    October 12, 2015 at 5:33 pm

    I’m thinking the people that are bitching about Columbus don’t go to work ANY day. Not just today.

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