Hippy Oberlin College Student Says Protests Are More Traumatic Than 9/11, Sandy Hook, Gets Boom Roasted By Professor After Asking For Finals Extension

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I’ve seen a lot of dumbass protesters in the last few weeks, but you are about to meet the QUEEN B of nudniks. Her name is Della Kurzer-Zlotnick. I swear to God, that’s her name. I kind of feel bad for her, because when your name is Della Kurzer-Zlotnick, there is almost a 100% guarantee that you’re going to grow up to be extremely unlikeable. Apparently my girl DKZ was pretty traumatized from her experiences with Ferguson and wanted her professor at Oberlin College in Ohio to push back the date of her final exams, after she saw the dingleberries who run Columbia do the same thing for their traumatized rich kids. Both her initial email and the professors response are priceless:


Boom. Roasted.

I have a newfound respect for professors after that one. No. Just, No. You may stop whining and shut the fuck up. That’s what you may do.

We should’ve seen this coming out of Oberlin College a mile away. After all, Lena fucking Dunham graduated from here.

lena dunham memes

Nuff said.

All you really need to see to figure out what this girl is all about is to look at the movies she “likes” on Facebook:

Screen Shot 2014-12-17 at 8.40.53 PM

I rest my case.

Let’s look at her AMAZING email piece by piece…

“It has come to the attention of students that students of color, particularly Black students, who have suffered significant trauma over the past few weeks due to the Grand Jury decisions are not at all in a place to take their finals right now. I am not among these students, and as a white, middle-class person, I have to privilege [sic] of being able to step away from these events and put enough energy into schoolwork and finals to assure that I will pass my classes. I will pass my classes. That is not the case for my peers.

Thank God you have the privilege of being able to walk away from racism. I know it’s very hard to be a white, middle-class JAP from Minnesota. The guilt you feel every day from being born into such privilege must be unbearable. Because if this isn’t the face of someone who knows what it’s like to be an oppressed black man in America


then I don’t know what is.

I do not know if you have been in conversation with any other students or faculty regarding finals. I do know though, that the college administration has done very little, if anything, to support students who are struggling due to the recent (and day-to-day) acts of racism in this country.

Right. Because the purpose of college is to coddle students who are SO oppressed that they’re attending a private institution of higher learning in Ohio. She would know all about day to day racism too. She even heard Mos Def say it once in her favorite rap song.

Black students and other students of color have to focus on their survival and are expected to energy into finals….

Stop the fight!! Their survival? LOL. Because I’m sure there are literally hundreds of racist white cops sitting in the trees waiting to pick off young African-American coeds as they play hacky-sack in the quad.

Just No

…while the white students, who also feel shaken by these events, but not to the same degree, can focus most of our time on studying and preparing for finals.

Wow. I’ve seen some hilarious white guilt in the past couple weeks, but this one takes the cake!! Luckily this girl is white, because she’s only HALF traumatized. She’s a fucking warrior this one. Sure she’s pretty shaken, but just give her a cortisone shot and put her back in the game coach!! She’ll give the finals her best shot, even even she’s not 100%. Gangsta!!

I am asking that you create an option (if you have not already done so) for students who do not feel like they are in a place, emotionally, mentally, or physically, to postpone the statistics final.

Hold on…we talkin bout stats? STATS!!! We talkin bout STATS!!!??? There isn’t an easier math class that exists than stats. Those were the only classes I ever got an A in. They give you the charts and you just plug numbers in. You have to be borderline special bus not to be able to pass a stats final.

Columbia Law School has already done this (link). If this were an event which was actually recognized by the school (and country) as a national trauma, such as 9/11 or the Newtown shootings….

What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened? Hold on one sec. So now, the deaths of these two future Nobel Peace Prize winners is the SAME FUCKING THING as September 11th and the Sandy Hook Massacre?? Ho-ly cow. My girl Della just kicked the protest game up a notch. I actually like when protesters say stuff like this. They just continue to make themselves a bigger and bigger joke. Not even college professors can get behind them anymore. It’s SHOCKING that none of these idiots can find a job after they graduate. Shocking.


…I expect that Oberlin would have immediately taken action to prioritize student wellbeing. Just because the murders of Eric Garner and Michael Brown do not (seem to) threaten the survival or safety of white people does not mean that they are not severely affecting students on our campus. I know that you have the ability and power to make decisions like this, and I am asking that you use your power to support your students who have put so much energy into the class already. They are tired, they are hurting beyond belief, and their wellbeing needs to be prioritized. 

Oh yea, LOTS of kids were traumatized from the horror of going onto Twitter and throwing a Goddamn pound symbol in front of some dumbass catch phrase that some idiot with a megaphone was yelling. The fact that they’ve SURVIVED this long is nothing less than a miracle.

This girl is the FACE of the Ferguson protest movement. A hyphenated last name. A belief that society owes her something. The use of buzzwords to make herself into a victim. She’s the complete package. She should have her own wing in the Nudnik Hall of Fame. I might have to halt production of the Turtleboy Naughty List Christmas Special because she has to be number one.



It gets better.

After getting this email she posted it on her Facebook to show the world how mean her professor is. Who the fuck does he think he is answering “no” to a question? I mean, the only acceptable answer is “yes.” Here’s the thing, if you’re only willing to accept one possible answer on a yes or no question, then it’s not really a question. It’s a demand. Luckily all of her hippy friends told her she was being ridiculous and to shut the fuck up and take her exam.

LOL. Just kidding.

Other students and Facebook users have commented on Kurzer-Zlotnick’s photo and encouraged her to “report” the professor to Oberlin’s administration.

“I encourage all of you who believe that your white professors and administrators are not racist, email them with about [sic] anything that has to do with black people and see their response,” she wrote.

Acey posted a screenshot of Debra Thomas’ reply to one email with the subject line including the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter. Thomas, who is the administrative assistant to the office of the controller, chastised the student for the hashtag.

“ALL lives matter! I don’t care if you’re black, white, yellow, or green,” Thomas wrote, according to the screenshot. “I’m tired of this racist nonsense and tired of everyone screaming about specific races being targeted.”

Hey, all lives don’t matter!!! That’s not even a real hashtag!! And when all else fails for these hippies their next move is to start a petition:

“Basically, no student especially [sic] black students and students of color should be failing a class this semester,” the petition states. “A ‘C’ should be the lowest grade students can receive this semester.”

Oh for fuck’s sake people. Hey here’s an idea. Instead of spending hours of your life making useless petitions and whining on the internet, why don’t you go and study for your Goddamn finals?

No one should be able to get less than a “C.” Ya got that? Literally just hand them good grades because they told you to. They even made a petition, so that’s pretty fucking official!! If you fail a kid for not doing his homework and bombing tests back in September then obviously you are a racist. End of discussion.

I wish I could follow these kids around from the moment they get out college. I think watching them sit there while they await some high paying job as a social worker to fall in their lap would be great television. Although how are they gonna react when they finally do get a job and there are not built in days for protesting trauma? Poor hippies.

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10 Comment(s)
  • September 2, 2015 at 12:14 am

    None of them are true.

  • Heather
    March 3, 2015 at 10:19 am

    I consider this to be cyberbullying, and recommend that you take this slanderous site down before this girl or her parents sue you.

    • Box Cutter Diaries
      March 15, 2015 at 4:00 am

      Internet lawyers coming through

  • Finnish Goalie
    December 19, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    That’s only 6/21 of her film selections though. Die Hard was probably 7th on the list.

  • Twistedsistah
    December 19, 2014 at 11:53 am

    Someone should punch her parent in the face for raising such a whiny douchebag!!

  • Got Nukes?
    December 19, 2014 at 7:21 am

    I would flunk her ass no matter how she does on the test……

  • jack
    December 18, 2014 at 3:54 pm
  • cpalmer
    December 18, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    Giant douche bag . . that’s the only words I can really think of to describe her lameness. Hippy uber libtards like this only help to contribute to the ongoing pussification of America . .

  • Megan DaSilva
    December 18, 2014 at 11:53 am

    I think I just had a sigh that could’ve reached the goal for the Guiness Book of World Records. Parents, you are failing if your child posts anything like this. Do us a favor; grab your newpaper hit them over the head with it. Then immediately proceed to post on FB an apology for raising such a cotton-headed-ninny-muggins!

  • Candice McDonald
    December 18, 2014 at 11:25 am

    My eyes just rolled so far back in my head I feared they may get stuck.

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