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Here’s the funniest thing you’ll see all day…..
Proud mom orders ‘Summa Cum Laude’ cake online. Publix censors it: Summa … Laude. https://t.co/ftfhnksfEA
— Catherine Rampell (@crampell) May 22, 2018
Yup. Publix censored the Summa Cum Laude cake because they thought Mom was referring to trouser gravy. Because what Mom wouldn’t want to make reference to baby butter on her son’s graduation cake?
Saturday was Jacob Koscinski’s big day. His whole family, many from out of town, saw the Charleston, S.C., student graduate from his Christian-based home-school program with a 4.89 grade-point average and the coveted honor of summa cum laude. His mother, Cara Koscinski organized a graduation party for her 18-year-old son. For the occasion, she ordered a cake online from her nearest grocery store, Publix, which lets customers build their own cakes complete with a customized inscription, which they enter into a message box marked “cake message option.”
Timeout. You’re celebrating a 4.89 GPAM for a Christian based home school program? What the hell does that even mean? Mom was his freaking teacher. She can give him whatever grades she wants. We’re handing out summa cum laude degrees from Mom’s home school factory now? And where do you get a 4.89 GPA from when you’re home schooled? What is with this bullshit nowadays where kids can go over 4.0? Are grades just meaningless now? This is cakeworthy? This is like the everyone gets a trophy generation on steroids.
Carefully, she typed in the words she wanted on the cake: “Congrats Jacob! Summa Cum Laude class of 2018.”
Publix’s online system was unhappy with the word “cum.”
Wait a minute. You’re telling me that an automated system that tries to filter out hate speech and/or profanity made a stupid mistake? I totally cannot relate to this.
In Latin, cum is the preposition “with,” as in summa cum laude,“with the highest distinction.” To the little box on the Publix website, however, the word meant something else and its strict algorithm, vigilant for naughty words, returned a message that said “profane/special characters not allowed.” Cum, which contains no special characters, was deemed profane.
Oh you mean like,
But there was still hope. The Publix form included a section for “special instructions” for the bakery, in which Koscinski explained that Summa Cum Laude was a Latin term for high academic honor and was not profane. She included a link to a website explaining the meaning of summa cum laude and said she didn’t think much about it afterward.
Cake day arrived.
Koscinski said she was so busy preparing things for the celebration, that she sent her husband and sister to the store to get some last minute items and to pick up the cake. When they returned, everyone gathered around the cake. When they opened the box, there it was: “Congrats Jacob! Summa — Laude Class of 2018.” Jacob was “absolutely humiliated,” Koscinski said to The Post. “It was unbelievable. I ordered the special graduation edition cake. I can’t believe I’m the first one to ever write “Summa Cum Laude” on a cake.
Cum on now, if Jacob was really “absolutely humiliated by this,” then he sounds like a twatwaffle deluxe. This shit is hilarious. I mean, they thought you meant…..
But you’re really just a good student. If you can’t see the humor in that, well, I guess it explains why you have a 4.89 GPA. Better learn to develop a sense of humor quickly Junior, because life cums at you fast!!
Nevertheless, they have overcum the trauma as she let them eat cake…..
Jacob didn’t eat much of the cake after that but his mother says the chocolate and vanilla cake was delicious.
Well yea, of course the cake was delicious. It didn’t have cum on it. Duh. Although i fairness, at least 80% of the people we blog about actually don’t mind the taste. The problem with the ratchets we profile is they never taste it, because getting pregnant seems to be their area of expertise.
Koscinski called Publix on Monday and explained the situation to the assistant manager. She said she doesn’t want this to happen to anyone else in the future. Publix offered to remake the cake. She declined.
“No,” she said, “you only graduate once.”
Publix gave her a $70 refund for the cake and a store gift card.
Oh get over yourself Mom.
You only graduate from home school once? First of all, this ain’t grad school. It’s a high school equivalency cake. Secondly, why are we celebrating mediocrity? This is why I refuse to go to high school graduations. Because all you’re doing is celebrating something you were supposed to do. Something 99% of the kids in your class who weren’t fucked up on OC’s did in four years.
Oh, and newsflash – your kid watches tons of porn.
Thank you, cum again!