Hoodrat Heroes

Homeless Shaft Farmer Still Upset With Starbucks For Banning Him For Offering The Spam Javelin To 16 Year Old Barista

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This is homeless man Lucas Werner from Spokane, WA.

In December of 2016 he became a viral sensation when he took to Facebook to bash Starbucks for not letting him hit on 16 year old employees:

He apparently thought people would be outraged……AT STARBUCKS, and not at him, and wanted everyone to complain to them on his behalf for age discrimination. He’s basically the creepiest guy who has ever lived.

It’s all good though because the note was “clean” and didn’t even mention stuffing his tuna torpedo inside her taco warmer:

Once you start sharing links to the age of legal consent in your state, you’ve officially become the creepiest skeeveball on the Internet.

He had a strong selling point though……

Ya got that ladies? If you let this guy toss around his spam javelin while you lay on a cardboard box underneath the railroad tracks, then you’re less likely to get cancer. What’s not to like? Plus, his DNA simply can’t be beat. Who wouldn’t wanna taste of this guy’s DNA slurpy?

Beef. It’s what’s for dinner.

Nevertheless, despite the claims of discrimination

Nothing has changed.

So he figured he’d share it again today:

Yea, Starbucks, why haven’t you apologized yet? Does this look like the kind of guy you wouldn’t want in your stores trying to hit on 16 year old girls at their first summer job?

No H8!!!

For a homeless person this shaft gobbler sure has the time and resources to post on Facebook a lot. And a year later he’s pretty much just sounding the same creepoid alarms. Like how he’s fond of 18 year olds (what guy isn’t?):

How he wants to bear children:

Because what could go wrong with a diddler like this bringing kids into the world?

Especially one who posts memes like this:

He’s decided to let the world know how he lost the ability to reproduce, but then gained it back via the “tub room,” so he’s back to making DNA pot pies:

I feel bad for this poor girl:

And this might be the creepiest thing he’s ever written:

Hey ladies, you looking to get doused in Sriracha mayo so this thing can “stuff you with his cucumber?”

Why not? As he points out, lions love it:

So yea, a year later and he’s still looking to spread some of his superior 35+ DNA around. He just can’t do it at Starbucks. Make sure no one tells this guy about Marylou’s Coffee or it will be game over!!

20 Comment(s)
  • K
    February 11, 2018 at 2:32 pm

    This guy should be a registered sex offender just from the looks of him

  • James T. Kirk
    February 10, 2018 at 3:56 am

    Set phasers on “Sterilize” and engage.

  • Richard Cranium
    February 9, 2018 at 4:56 pm

    He doesn’t know if the note was dirty, the other him wrote it.  They haven’t been on speeding terms since the Tommy Tucker incident of ought 8….

  • Gincent
    February 8, 2018 at 9:14 pm

    Invega is a medication prescribed for people with Schizophrenia, guy obviously has some issues.

    • itsjustme
      February 9, 2018 at 3:09 pm

      I believe abilify (I spelt that wrong) is a medication that is added on to your existing psychotic medications if they aren’t working like they should. I’ve seen commercials for it, and my doctors office has a poster in their office.

      If this guy writes like this on his PUBLIC Facebook I can imagine what his note to her said that got a police offer to wait around all day waiting for him to tell him he has been banned from Starbucks. Something wrong with this guy.

      • Kevin Fleury
        Richard Cranium
        February 9, 2018 at 4:53 pm

        He doesn’t actually know if it was dirty or not, the other he wrote it. They aren’t on speaking terms since the Becky Smith incident of ‘15.

  • ScaredShitless
    February 8, 2018 at 8:40 pm

    This guy might as well tattoo “sexual predator” on his forehead. This is some delusional Elliot Rodger nightmare shit going on.

  • Bulldog
    February 8, 2018 at 6:15 pm

    It sounds like this guy is a real pedophile but doesn’t want to admit it because he knows society isn’t fond of child molesters. Instead, he pretends that he only likes girls that are the “legal age of consent” wherever they live. He says in his posts that he’s 38 but asked out a 16-year-old, which is super creepy. While 16 is the age of consent, I’m pretty sure there’s a limit and I’m pretty sure I remember there being a law about if someone is older than 21 or 10+ years older (can’t remember which) than a minor, it’s illegal. I’d be afraid to even be within 100 yards of this guy. Law enforcement should investigate this guy and check out his internet history.

  • msheadkracker
    February 8, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    Holy shit this cock stain is a walking billboard announcing his pedophilia. Wtf is wrong with him mentally that he thinks this is ok? Never in my life have I seen so many child molesters out in the open advertising for younger children, it’s sick. This asshat needs castrated, then hung by his nutsac!

  • Bret
    February 8, 2018 at 2:34 pm

    That’s the adult version of Jamie Kline

    And Brian wants his manmeat

  • TJB
    February 8, 2018 at 2:10 pm

    werner von Diddler. I bet he hangs around by the dressing room in Kmart.

  • Stunt Penis
    February 8, 2018 at 2:03 pm

    Not seeing the issue here… my wife is 18 years younger than I am…. as long as she’s legal, what’s the problem?

    • That's the problem
      February 9, 2018 at 7:10 am

      The issue is that this guy seems to ONLY seek out women that are young. Hence his reference to the legal age of consent In Japan.
      I’m all for dating older men and all. (My husband is 15 years older) BUT if his Facebook page looked like this guy, no way.
      Only a creepy weirdo posts shit like that. I wouldn’t leave that guy alone in a room with my daughter (or son) for 2 seconds.

    February 8, 2018 at 1:58 pm


  • Well, No Shit
    February 8, 2018 at 1:33 pm

    Jesus Jumping Christ!

    This guy totally creeps me the fuck out! I’m thinking that if my 16 year old daughter came home from work and told me that this asshat had been creeping on her, and refused to leave her alone, I’d have to take action. Seriously. Cretins, like this sketchy motherfucker, will not learn until they have their asses kicked.

    I’m no internet hardo, but look at this morally-bankrupt pedophile! Tell me that you wouldn’t love to kick his ass for being skeezy.

  • Brian sucks cock
    February 8, 2018 at 1:14 pm

    Dede raped children as does this guy

  • Duke Westwood
    February 8, 2018 at 12:53 pm

    “I am a scientist without a science degree.” Kinda like Bill Nye!

    I’d say more like a space cadet who never went to space.

  • Scary Perv
    February 8, 2018 at 12:49 pm

    NAMBLA & “Bizarro World” come to mind instantly.

  • February 8, 2018 at 12:40 pm

    Just kill yourself. You are mental. Please at least go to another country. You seem to like young Japanese girls and sushi. Go to Japan. I hate you. Idiot. Wannabe Child Molester!!! You belong in Hell!

  • M'Young Lady, Tips Fedora
    February 8, 2018 at 12:34 pm

    r / niceguys lost one

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