Social Justice Warriors

I-93 Protester Noah McKenna: Most Magnificent Hippie Ever

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[corner-ad id=2]So every time we find out a little bit more about any of the 29 protesters that were arrested on I-93 for blocking traffic Thursday, we’re gonna do a little bio like this one. It turns out of course that almost all of the predominantly white kids were exactly what we thought they were – losers in their parents basement. Most of them are of course from the burbs too. But none of them are more glorious than today’s Hippie of the Day – Noah McKenna of Brookline:


I gotta give Noah credit for one thing – he actually showed his face. Because various news outlets have gone to the protesters’ parents home to see if the hippies can come out and play. Predictably most of the hippies were way too cowardly to show their faces. That’s weird. I thought they were passionate about their cause? Shouldn’t they be jumping at the opportunity to speak civilly about it with the news reporter? I thought they wanted to have a “conversation” about “racism” in this country? I thought they wanted to spread awareness and talk about their “cause?” This is their big chance!! They don’t even have to borrow Mom’s car to go anywhere – the media came to THEM!!

But of course they didn’t:

So let me get this straight – Noah McKenna is worried about his safety because a news reporter went to his house? Yea, that’s WAY more dangerous than jumping onto the Goddamn highway during rush hour commute.

Hey hippies, you wanted to draw attention to this whole “black lives matter” thing? Never heard of it. What’s that all about? What’s Ferguson? Who is Eric Garner? Because the only way we can find out about these things is if hippies jump onto the highway and chain themselves to barrels. Luckily the rich white hippies have taught us all about racism and what it’s like to be black in America. But now that we have more questions they have no comment? What’s that all about. I need to learn more.

Oh yea, they’re not showing their faces because they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. They don’t give a shit about racism or Michael Brown or any of that stuff. They never have. They just like to complain about how unfair life is with other hippies, push the boundaries of free speech, and then whine when they get arrested. Back in 2011 my boy Noah McKenna pitched a tent and occupied Boston because all the other hippies were doing it. Protesting is simply what he does.

Anyway, Noah McKenna was exactly as I dreamed he would be. He’s 28 years old. He has dreadlocks. He lives with his Dad in a house you and I would never be able to afford. He wasn’t working Thursday OR Friday. He went to to Bard Prep School in Manhattan, which costs $15,000 per year in tuition alone. From there he started his own hippie business called Restoring Roots Cooperative:

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Apparently this “business” involves planting grapes and/or putting them in your granola or perhaps even turning it into jam. Whatever you want really – they’re YOUR grapes.

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I think the most fantastic thing about Noah McKenna was his outfit he was wearing when he answered the door:


Glorious. The only thing he’s missing are some thong sandals. The thought of him sleeping till noon, tossing on his slippers, and then settling in for a busy day of cartoons and Twitter hashtags gets me excited just thinking about it. It’s SHOCKING that they found him at home during normal working hours on a Friday. He is truly one of the most magnificent hippies I’ve ever seen.



If you put Noah McKenna in a cage in Franklin Park Zoo I could stare at him all day and never get bored. He is that amazing. I’m just glad his parents weren’t home to keep him from doing this interview, like all the other hippie’s parents. Hopefully the news crew was taking notes – wait outside the house and wait for the parents to go to work. That’s when you ring the doorbell.

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10 Comment(s)
  • JorgXMcKie
    January 29, 2015 at 10:01 pm

    Is it just my imagination, or is he about 5’4″?? Maybe he has a Napoleon Complex?

    • DJ
      April 5, 2021 at 12:20 pm

      The article isn’t accurate and this isnt accurate either, he didn’t go to school in Manhattan, he went to Boston Latin School, a public exam school in Boston, same as I did. He was a year behind me. I was never good friends with him but he’s not a trust fund kid or anything, just too many ideals and not enough sense. And he’s almost 6 feet from what I remember, not sure.

  • Chris Hansen
    January 17, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    “wait outside the house and wait for the parents to go to work. That’s when you ring the doorbell.”

    Why don’t you have a seat over there?

  • Non Sequitor
    January 17, 2015 at 6:11 pm


    Keep exposing these shitbag frauds for what they are.

  • Hippie non protestor
    January 17, 2015 at 5:12 pm

    Please don’t turn this into a political blog. This is getting uglier and uglier fast. Stick to sports, and quit making me feel disenfranchised.

    • Finnish Goalie
      January 18, 2015 at 9:01 am

      This is a very big local story, and the blog is following it. It is hardly the only thing being covered by the multiple writers. Go to the page, and read the other 5-6 articles related to the Pats from the past 7 days.

    • skinner
      January 19, 2015 at 3:07 pm

      please stop publishing these nasty articles…it’s hurts me feelings….waaaahhhhhhh

  • Hank
    January 17, 2015 at 12:12 pm

    “wait outside the house and wait for the parents to go to work. That’s when you ring the doorbell.”

    also useful information for process serving!!!!

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