Hoodrat Heroes

I Could Watch These Australian Girls Fight All Day

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Girl fights are extremely overrated. You learn that quickly after four years at Worcester South High School. The odds of it ending up in bizarre hair-pulling shouting match within three seconds are extremely high. Often it ends in a stalemate where two girls are awkwardly holding onto each other’s hair with both hands while using their feet to try to kick their opponent in the ovaries. But apparently this is just how American girls fight. If you wanna see a real rowdy-down you go to the one place on earth where fighting is still a respected art form – Australia. This is honestly the greatest girl fight I’ve ever seen:

I’ll tell you one thing – that’s better than any Floyd Mayweather fight I’ve ever seen and it was a lot cheaper. (unrelated topic – I haven’t blogged the Floyd-Pacman fight yet because Pacman is going to get destroyed)

So I’m not gonna lie, I had no idea they were Australian at first. I actually thought people in the crowd were speaking Vietnamese. Then I realized “slut” isn’t a Vietnamese word. Clearly it was an English speaking country. And those girls were way too uncivilized to be British. But I cannot speak Australian English for the life of me. I don’t care what you say – that’s not English.

Anyway, the fight was FANTASTIC!! Two warriors going at it. They don’t make em like that in the states. The blonde girl was clearly superior (and a serious candidate for junior smokeshow of the century) but the brunette has the heart of a champion. She got annihilated and just kept coming back. And their form is phenomenal. Like two kangaroos sizing each other up:

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Elbows up. Hands steady. The blonde had such great technique though. She was an unstoppable force of nature. There’s just no way this was her first viral Australian World Star video. Look at the way she’s using her back leg for leverage. The blonde fights EXACTLY like Mayweather and the brunette kept falling right into her trap. She lets you come after her

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dodges with her lightning quickness

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and then connects  when you’re exposed, off-balance and vulnerable

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time

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after time

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after time

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I felt for the brunette though. She had the “I don’t give a fuck because I’m an Aborigine” swag going on like you read about. But I wish I could’ve gotten in her corner and told her to get a new game plane, because she kept taking the bait and played right into the blonde’s hands.

Oh yea, and I love the respect the crowd has for the fight. This is Australian fighting on the mean streets of Perth. A lady doesn’t pull hair during one of these spectacles. The crowd, which simultaneously acts as the referee and videographers, will let you repeatedly reign blows down on your opponent’s face, but they won’t stand for hair-pulling, which the blonde was clearly prone to do:

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And both parties respected the mandatory timeouts to put their hair back in place

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My favorite part was when the crowd, who was clearly siding with the blonde, started to taunt the brunette to get her to quit. Her face was priceless:

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You think that Aborigine is backing out of a fight before it’s over? LOL. You clearly don’t understand Australia bro.

P.S. This just proves that South Park is the most realistic and authentic show on television. Enjoy Russell Crowe’s “Foightin round the world!!”

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1 Comment(s)
  • RSoxGuy
    March 2, 2015 at 5:23 pm

    That left hook by the trash can was nasty!

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