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I’m not a soccer fan. Good for you if you are. But I’m not. And one of the biggest reasons I can’t get into it are the diving Euro-weenies. Sorry, I just can’t stand the fact that ANY time there is any sort of collision in soccer it’s a rule that one of the players must lay down on the ground screaming in pain. It’s like a desperate cry for attention and it’s ingrained in the culture of the sport. Don’t get me wrong, this exists in hockey (in Montreal and Vancouver), and all over the NBA. But at least those sports give me more scoring. And the worst part about the soccer dive is the fact that the clock doesn’t stop. Then they arbitrarily add stoppage time at the end of the game, which ALWAYS comes out to a nice round number (between 1-5 minutes) that they pulled out of their ass. Once again, good for you if you like that, but it’s not for Turtleboy.
However, I WOULD be willing to get more into soccer if they did this to the faking Euro-weenies, like they did to some Greek soccer player who wouldn’t shut the hell up about his wounded nani.
That guy crashed harder than the Greek economy.
My favorite part is when they drop him the second time, and the “trainer” with the mullet tries to pick him up, only to slip, fall, and land directly with his face in the wounded nani.
The Euro-weenie puts his arms out and is like, “what the fuck bro!!!”
I think we figured out the solution for soccer flopping. If you flop then we’re not getting you a fancy stretcher or an ambulance so you can be all dramatic and make it all about you. Nope, if you flop we’re gonna bring out two drunks from the stands, one with a mullet, and the other with tight blue sweat pants, toss a couple vests on them, use World War 1 battlefield healthcare, drop your ass repeatedly, and then toss you on the sidelines like the piece of trash you are. Soccer flopping would end immediately.
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7 Comment(s)
Leo’s funny! So say the voices in Leo’s head…
Small wonder the Greeks can’t pay their bills. Can’t seem to get out of their own way.
HAHAHA, This is so funny, you called him a weenie. That’ll teach him. Just a couple points here.
1. Soccer sucks, everyone who watches is a hippie, that’s why most of the world watches it. We’re getting over run by hippies. Keep ’em out of ‘merica.
2. I like my balls not round because… you know, fuck round balls. I like egg shaped balls.
3. Soccer is made for people who don’t like their coffee stirred or like their coffee black like in eastern Europe. What’s wrong with them? Nothing better than sitting on my fat ass on a Sunday watching real football and eating donuts and drinking my pre-stirred coffee.
Think I hit all three main points on the head, can I start being an anonymous blogger for TurtleBoySports now? $20 per article paid through PayPal, because you know… Fuck you if you ain’t of PayPal, it’s the 21st century. I think I’m good with blaming hippies, hating soccer, liking football and most important of all… wanting my coffee pre-stirred.
If you need something to get the sand out, try Summer’s Eve
Thanks buddy, worked like a charm. Didn’t know there was so much sand there. Now I got all this sand I don’t know what to do with it. I’m sure turtle’s love sand being sea creatures and all, or are they sea monstahs? Would you be so kind as to give me an address to TurtleBoy HQ’s so I could ship it there. Of course I’ll use amazon prime to ship it. What kind of savage wouldn’t?
Leo you’re killing the trolling game right now
I literally cry while watching this !!! – at the end they are tired of the whole thing . they put him down not in a very nice way