I Have Come To Respect LeBron James For Taking A Steamy Dump On Miami Heat Fans And Returning To Cleveland

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Unless you were stuck in a hole today then by now you know that LeBron James has returned to the Cleveland Cavaliers. It’s all anyone can talk about. And for the first time in my blogging career, I am not going to hate on LeBron. Here’s why.

First of all the Cavaliers will make the NBA Finals next year where they will play the Spurs. Again. They will lose to Tim Duncan and the Spurs. Again. He’ll be 1-3 against San Antonio in the Finals, and came close to being 0-4 were it not for a miracle Ray Allen shot.

Then we’ll realize that the past 15 years was not the era of Kobe or LeBron. It is indisputably the era of Tim Duncan.

I am no Bron-Bron fan. Never was, never will be. But I will give him props for the way he has handled the Decision Part 2. I mean, what can you say? Everything he did this time around was a calculated, professional way to handle his business. You can’t possibly look at this in an objective way and be upset with him.

The biggest complaint I’m hearing about him this time around is that he “wants to be loved.” Yea, and? Why is that a bad thing? What kind of antichrist doesn’t wanna be loved? I wish more people would come and hug me instead of defacing my magical turtle.


I laugh at the notion that LeBron is somehow putting himself in a tougher position to win a championship though. LOL. Seriously, did anyone actually watch the NBA Finals? Those teams were slaughter, and D-Wade will be a year OLDER than he was last year when he looked like a geriatric. LeBron simply didn’t have what it took to win again in Miami.

Cleveland though? They’re young and exciting. Kyrie Irving is 22!!! By the time he’s D-Wade’s age LeBron will be 39. He has literally hitched his wagon to one of the NBA’s can’t miss stars who is nowhere close to being at his peak yet. He has rising forward Tristan Thompson, who will likely be the fourth wheel to either Andrew Wiggins, or whatever they trade Wiggins for. Newsflash – there’s a really good chance Kevin Love is playing in Cleveland next year, and he’s only 25. He just joined the hottest, youngest team in the NBA, and abandoned an old group going absolutely nowhere. So please, don’t try and tell me that he just took some sort of bigger challenge by moving to Cleveland.


What I liked about what LeBron did is that the announcement came out of nowhere. Noon on a Friday. Unlike four years ago there was no hour long show. There was no guarantee of championships. There was no talk of “taking his talents” anywhere. He wrote an honest letter explaining why he did what he did and for the most part he tried to stay out of the spotlight. It’s not his fault the media follows him around and is obsessed with him. Here’s the parts I respected the most:

The letter from Dan Gilbert, the booing of the Cleveland fans, the jerseys being burned — seeing all that was hard for them. My emotions were more mixed. It was easy to say, “OK, I don’t want to deal with these people ever again.” But then you think about the other side. What if I were a kid who looked up to an athlete, and that athlete made me want to do better in my own life, and then he left? How would I react? I’ve met with Dan, face-to-face, man-to-man. We’ve talked it out. Everybody makes mistakes. I’ve made mistakes as well. Who am I to hold a grudge?

That’s a mature individual speaking right there. He handled the situation terribly four years ago, and so did Dan Gilbert. He readily admits that. But he is manning up and looking at it from someone else’s perspective. LeBron four years ago didn’t possess the ability to do this.

This was better though:

I’m not promising a championship. I know how hard that is to deliver. We’re not ready right now. No way. Of course, I want to win next year, but I’m realistic. It will be a long process, much longer than it was in 2010. My patience will get tested. I know that. I’m going into a situation with a young team and a new coach. I will be the old head. But I get a thrill out of bringing a group together and helping them reach a place they didn’t know they could go. I see myself as a mentor now and I’m excited to lead some of these talented young guys. I think I can help Kyrie Irving become one of the best point guards in our league. I think I can help elevate Tristan Thompson and Dion Waiters. And I can’t wait to reunite with Anderson Varejao, one of my favorite teammates.

Fantastic. This ladies and gentlemen is a man who has learned from his mistakes. Did he fuck up royally four years ago? Oh yea. But I am a man who believes in reform. I believe that when a man is begging for forgiveness and actually sees the error of his ways, that we shouldn’t hold a grudge against them. As far as I’m concerned the Decision is negated. Never happened. That was the old LeBron. This guy right here is someone who knows how hard it is to win championships. This is a guy who recognizes that he has to be a better leader and wants to become one.


Unfortunately this is really bad for the Celtics, because the Cavs are gonna be good for a long, long time. LeBron will finish his career in Cleveland.

On the other hand this is a great day for America because the only thing worse than The Decision are Miami Heat fans. There isn’t a fan base in America who deserved this more than they did. This is a group of fans who left Game 6 of the NBA Finals and started talking about next year, in a series they eventually won. This is a fan base who has no idea who played on the Heat for D-Wade got there. Watching their reactions on social media was priceless.

First you have your idiots who think D-Wade is still good:

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You got that? D-Wade will magically start to play like it’s 2006, when he was 24 years old. Because that happens ALL THE TIME. Often we see 32 year olds who are clearly regressing and are getting steamrolled by guys 10 years younger than them, magically find the fountain of youth at age 33. Right.

Then you have delusional nudniks who think this team will pick up right where it left off without LeBron:

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LOL. This just proves that Heat fans aren’t really fans of basketball. Look, I’m a Celtics fan. I knew that after Pierce and KG left we were gonna be the Sherman Douglas/Dino Radja Celtics all over again. That’s how the league works, because I actually follow the league. These dolts just started watching basketball. They don’t know any better.

Then there are people who don’t even realize that they’re bandwagon fans:

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This guy sums up everything Heat fans stand for. Literally admits that he didn’t like basketball until LeBron came to Miami, and now he’s a card carrying member of #Heatnation. This guy is about to find out the hard that way the NBA is a really shitty, shitty product when your team sucks.


Then there are others who will become Cavs fans:

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Yea sorry, but if you’re a fan of a player instead of a team, then you’re not really a fan at all.

Then there are others who think that rebuilding in the NBA is easy:

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Yea, you guys won when D-Wade was 24 and you had the most dominant NBA center from the past 25 years on your team (Shaq). It will be exactly like that next year. Just re-tool by signing Josh McRoberts and draft Shabazz Napier and you’ll never even notice LeBron left.


Love this guy:

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Delonte IS available, and I have a blog coming up on him shortly. Can’t tell if this guy’s being sarcastic or not. But with Heat fans I have to assume he is actually being serious.

Then there’s people who think Kevin Love wants to come to Miami:

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Newsflash – Love wants out of Minnesota because they blow. He’s not leaving there to go and play for another suckbag team. You guys don’t realize this yet, but you just became the Philadelphia 76ers. You re-signed a 30 year old Chris Bosh. Congrats. How was Toronto when he played there without LeBron? Oh yea, they sucked.

And then there’s people who think Shabazz Napier is the second coming of LeBron:

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I kind of feel bad for Shabazz. LeBron was the one begging Miami to draft him and then he skips town. Probably should’ve given him a shout-out in his letter to Sports Illustrated. But seriously, Shabazz is a six footer who beat a bunch of college kids. I’m not sure if Miami fans are aware of this, but the NBA is a lot better than the NCAA.

Then there’s your spelling bee champs:

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Brilliant. Hey guys, if LeBron is such a big trader, would you mind asking him to get in contact with me? I need two axles and three oxen if I’m gonna complete the Oregon trail. Plus my daughter has dysentary. Hurry!!

Sadly if you search “LeBron trader” on Twitter these people are there by the thousands:

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What they meant was “traitor.” And yes, he kind of is a traitor:

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Welcome to a little place I call reality. In the real world people go to the places that suit them the best. You know, like four years ago when LeBron realized he couldn’t win without other superstars so he came to Miami? Remember that? Like, what did Heat fans think LeBron was gonna do when times got tough? Stick it out? Because he’s got so much loyalty to Miami right? LOL. Newslfash – no one is loyal to Miami. It’s impossible. It’s a place where you go to party, and eventually to die if you have a good retirement plan. No one really considers it home though. No one has any real pride in it. That’s why you have three other franchises that no one goes to watch (Dolphins, Marlins, Panthers).

Actually, make that four.



Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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3 Comment(s)
  • Keith
    August 8, 2014 at 12:47 am

    You like one of the best franchises in nba history…must be tough being a loyal fan to a winner…the reason basketball wasn’t as big in Miami is because the team didn’t get there till 88…all these people who are not from Miami and were bandwagoning I get it hate on them but you can’t blame people for likening their home team…and as far as people leaving early…it happens in every arena in every sport lets not act like this is a new phenomenon..aside from bashing Miami fans I agree with your opinions on the whole situation.. He is definitely looking for the easy way to the top and needs other stars to succeed.. I don’t mind going through a rebuild in Miami but I can say I do not want him to win but he knew what he was doing…he definitely took the easy path but that’s what he is becoming known for now…the first time he sees turmoil…gone….thanks lebron

  • emmanuelsuarez
    July 11, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    You’re an idiot and a hater. Obviously had to be a Celtics fan to come out and talk shit about us. Like you guys didn’t have bandwagoners or idiot fans like yourself apparently, who don’t know anything better but to talk shit about other teams. Speak to the true HEAT fans and you’ll learn a little bit about fandom. Speak to the ones who stuck it out through the tough times. Miami is our home and we love our teams no matter win or lose. And if anyone would call this a home is the Great D.WAD3 he might not be at his best level but y’all wish you had a player you could look up to like we do with Wade, who do you have Pierce? Oh wait he left, KG? Oh he left too, but let me stop right here because I don’t want you to go back into your celtics history and realize y’all got nothing and start crying about it. So stop talking out of your ass and get your shit straight instead of going off on us. We will be back and better than ever, Miami is a world class organization and it will make the moves necessary to make history over and over again! #HeatNation

    • Dan
      July 11, 2014 at 10:46 pm

      17 NBA Championships…A record 8 in a row from 1959-1966…Three separate Championship eras…When it comes to hanging Championship Banners, the Celtics are the cream of the crop. No organization has won more titles than the 17-time World Champion Boston Celtics. Whether it’s the Green’s first title in 1957, their 12th in 1974 or the 17th in 2008, the Celtics tradition of winning championships has stood the test of time.

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