Social Justice Warriors

If Ferguson Mall Protesters Can Stand Up To Al Dente’s Protester Plow I Will Take Them Seriously

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This is an oldie but goodie. I missed what my boy Al Dente had to say about the Ferguson protesters blocking the highways all over America the other day. If you’re not familiar with Al Dente, he was the guy who nearly became governor of the great state of Rhode Island this past election. He was only a few hundred thousands of votes short. Imagine what he could’ve done if his name was on the actual ballot!! There’d be no stopping him. The political establishment knows a threat when they see one.

Al Dente keeps it real when it comes to the Ferguson protesters. Here’s what he had to say about them…..

Al Dente Screen Shot 2014-11-30 at 11.41.33 AM


Screen Shot 2014-11-30 at 11.54.20 AM

Luckily for the protesters they seem to have given up on their crusade to fix America, so they will be spared vigilante justice at the hands of Al Dente’s protester plow. Sure they did a bunch of these mall protests where they laid down and yelled at people who were doing some Christmas shopping..






But that lasted a day or two and now it’s done.

Want further proof that these people are frauds? Half of them are on their iPhones. What kind of bootleg protest is that? These are the same frauds who occupied Wall Street because of big corporations… Apple. And I’m sorry, but lying down on the ground and going on your cell phone is not a real protest. You’re just doing what I do when I’m on the throne, except you’re lying down in public. You wanna impress me? Go on a hunger strike. Stay awake standing up for 48 hours. Count to a million. Do something cool and then I might actually take you a little more seriously.

But these people can’t do those things because they’re not that serious. They’re just doing this because it’s the hip thing to do for the moment. Just like pitching a tent was the hip thing to do back in 2011 before it started getting cold. I’m sorry, but if there’s no danger involved then you’re not really making a point at all. You’re just being an a-hole because you can. If you stand in traffic without any fear of getting run over, then you’re not proving anything. If you lie down in the mall knowing full well that you’re not gonna get stepped on, then you’re not proving anything.

Then I saw this picture in the Boston Herald yesterday:

Ferguson protest mall

Courtesy of Matthew Healy

No, that’s not a picture from Planned Parenthood, it’s from outside the Prudential Center. And speaking of Planned Parenthood these are the EXACT same people who think you shouldn’t be allowed to hold signs outside of Planned Parenthood. Because in their minds you should only be allowed to protest when you’re right, and since they’re always right it’s a pretty sweet deal for them. For the record the people that hold signs outside of Planned Parenthood are about as effective as these people. Neither is making a real difference and both types of protesters ultimately turn people away from the cause they’re standing up for.

So here’s my proposal to the protesters. I will take you seriously if you agree that I can walk on you in the mall. I won’t walk on you intentionally or anything, but if you’re in my direct path then you’re fair game. If you can take a day’s worth of that or if you’re willing to stand in front of Al Dente’s protester plow, then I will admit that your protest is valid. Until then you will continue to be a joke. See you time something is trending on Twitter.

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