Sports

If Red Sox Fans Would Stop Giving Derek Jeter Nostalgia Handjobs, That Would Be Great

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Hey Red Sox fans – if you could all stop giving Derek Jeter “respect” hand jobs, that would be great:

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Ummmmm, what the fuck does everyone respect about this guy so much? He’s played for nothing but winning teams his entire career. He’s played for ownership that has paid top dollar to surround him with the best talent money can buy. Oh yea, and he’s been paid more than every player in the history of MLB not named A-Rod.

This is something I’m supposed to “#re2pect”? An overpaid millionaire who showed up every day and did his job? Why? Because he didn’t complain or demand to be traded? Newsflash – that’s what your pos-a-do, you dumb mother fuckers. This gets Red Sox fans to drop their drawers and go at themselves while thinking about baseball nostalgia?

Yea, I know he left his final game in the Bronx with a walk off to win the game. But the guy has been suck city dodge this year. What did he do this year besides help the Yankees miss the playoffs for the second consecutive year? He hit .253 with four home runs and under 50 RBI. That’s Drew-esque. He was a black hole in the Yankees lineup and they trotted him out there so that every city with a MLB franchise could give him a going away HJ on the way out.

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I know, I’m bitter about this. The truth is I don’t mind Derek Jeter. I didn’t mind Mariano Rivera either. I just can’t stand how MLB fans buy into this farewell shit. This farewell tour nonsense doesn’t happen in any other sport. Plus, it’s only happening because he had the luxury of playing in New York his whole career. Where was the Craig Biggio going away tour? Their numbers aren’t that much different. But Biggio played in a town where no one gives a shit about anything but Johnny Manziel’s latest bender. He wasn’t surrounded by a dynasty.

This is just typical baseball bullshit. MLB fans love to get nostalgic. These people get off on peanuts and crackerjacks, and dirt dogs who get their uniforms covered in filth. This will never happen in the NFL, which is why the NFL is the greatest league that ever existed, and MLB is losing ratings to God damn soccer.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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9 Comment(s)
  • TDF
    October 1, 2014 at 8:28 am

    What a great article……Jeter has an Average glove, at best, and has killed more rallies for the yank-mees the past 2 seasons than anybody.

    You want to #RESPECT somebody….they should have treated Tony Gwynn this way….he played his whole carreer for a team that didn’t put any talent around him or spend any money…and he still ends up in the HOF

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    September 26, 2014 at 11:35 pm

    Channel 5 seems to think that Sox fans are letting bygones be bygones. No, it’s just the pink hats who are going to spend half the game taking a friendly Fenway dump and then leave right after Sweet Caroline.

    • Finnish goalie
      September 27, 2014 at 3:46 pm

      I’m lost. So real fans have to be pricks?

      • Wabbitt
        wabbitt
        September 30, 2014 at 2:10 am

        Real fans don’t have to be pricks, but we also don’t have to prostrate ourselves so as to better reach Jeter’s balls with our tongue.

        • Finnish goalie
          October 1, 2014 at 8:45 am

          The ceremony was a joke, I’ll grant you. I was at Rivera’s last game at Fenway last season and they managed to keep that enjoyable and unawkward. I was glad I already had a drink made and was sitting on my couch for that disaster on Sunday.

      • February 10, 2016 at 6:40 am

        It’s a real plasruee to find someone who can think like that

  • Finnish goalie
    September 26, 2014 at 7:27 am

    So will the Sox have a video montage before each game, or just Sunday? Buy a brick stamped with Jeter’s last game date!

  • BillG2330
    September 26, 2014 at 4:09 am

    I had tickets to this Sunday’s game, and sold them to a Yankee fan for 5x face value. I hope he doesn’t suit up. No ragrets!

  • Berger
    September 26, 2014 at 12:11 am

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