If This Middleboro Thai Massage Parlor Isn’t A Rub And Tug They Should Probably Reconsider Their Marketing Strategy

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Something about this ad for a Middleboro Thai massage parlor on Postix seems a little bit….off…

“Let our sweet Asian team make you feel good.” 

Oh, I bet they will. It’s either that or back to the cage.

So yea, if this isn’t the most obvious rub and tug of all time, then the Middleboro “Wellness Spa” should probably reconsider their marketing plan.

To find out we called them up spoke to a nice woman who knew at least 17 words in English. Our communication issues were large, but when I asked if they do “special massages” I was told that we’d have to speak to the masseuse. I was thinking about getting Mr. Turtlegirl a gift card for his birthday coming up, but I don’t think we’ve reached this point in our relationship. Yet.

I dunno, maybe this place is legit. If it is, they should probably come up with a different marketing plan. Ya know, because “Hot therapist women,” “fun,” and “new cute” aren’t typically ways you would market your trained therapists if it were a legit massage parlor. Because when you go to get a massage it could be done by a 400 pound cheesehog, but as long as they knew how to get the job done it would be money well spent. If you’re going to a massage parlor and your primary concern is having a hot “fun” Asian woman touching your body, you’re probably not going there because you have a cramp in your shoulder. Just sayin.

25 Comment(s)
  • dbk
    March 27, 2018 at 1:57 pm

    a thai massage is usually done clothed, its the ones where they put pressure and then twist you all sorts of ways, its not really a massage at all and actually kinda hurts.

    • Amy
      March 29, 2018 at 6:57 am

      Yeah so this is legit cause they sent an undercover cop in there and now suddenly the owner is being charged with soliciting sex for a price LOL

  • Summer Sweets Auburn ME
    March 25, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    There is a comprehensive hooker and parlor page at “www(dot)usasexguide(dot)info”. If there is a BBBJ, DATY, CIM , GFE, Not a clock watcher, et al, event to be purchased in most major cities, the degenerates on this page are talking about it. Mass is a well covered field of “many cum” dreams. Not once, not anywhere, does a John report any action at Middleboro Thai Wellness. So, on that note, TBS has risked and probably just cost this legitimate establishment 25-50% of their business since non-sexual seeking customers won’t want to be seen at a labeled establishment. Sure there are two young aged Thai (presume anyway) girls fronting the ads. Would you put some 70 yr old blowser on there with a cig hanging off her lips? It is very irresponsible of this blog to blindly insinuate Thai Wellness is a den of ill-repute without any hard proof. I suspect SSTG went in there for some scissor action or a Thai tongue muff cleaning and GOT TURNED DOWN, so now she is putting this weak lame ass shit out. This intent is as obvious as those cock indents on Finn’s forehead. You know, where there’s these little cock tip impressions with residual dried spunk flaking off, they never seem to go away, but we’re told it’s only a mama kiss. More like daddy dude. lol. Anyway, shame shame shame, TBS is into to carelessly ruining hard working enterpriser’s small businesses??

    • Ruth Geoffroy
      March 25, 2018 at 6:06 pm

      Yeah the only happy endings in Middleboro are at Friendly’s.

  • Captain Trips
    Hillary Clinton
    March 25, 2018 at 2:02 pm

    I’m sending Bill.

    I’m going to be too busy with Maura Healy.

    She told me she’s going to teach me a new language that she calls ‘cunnilingus’.

    Can’t wait for the first lesson

  • Reality Bytes
    March 25, 2018 at 12:29 pm

    Ever notice how Hollyweird always portrays Asian people as the bad guys and blacks as heroes in the movies?

    In reality you hardly ever see Asians on the news robbing gas stations or shooting each other.

  • Blackulla
    March 25, 2018 at 12:21 pm

    All of these Asian massage parlors will be ran out of business once I open an all hot, beautiful, sweet Black women massage parlor.

    Problem is I’m having a hard time finding Black women who want to work.

  • Miso Honey
    March 25, 2018 at 9:55 am

    Sank you for advertise my shop. You husband get free happy ending now and you no worry about give him sex when you have headache. I please him so you have successful marry. Domo arigato.

    • vicxh
      March 25, 2018 at 11:43 am

      Do you love me long time? You so horny?

  • Bill Clinton
    March 25, 2018 at 6:37 am

    What’s the address again?

    Asking for a friend

  • vicxh
    March 24, 2018 at 10:27 pm

    If they really look like the pics, I know where I am going and would not mind some extra long tugging

  • ninja turtleboy
    March 24, 2018 at 9:23 pm

    when i googled them their business comes up on a website called ‘rubmaps’ which is exactly what it sounds like

  • TJB
    March 24, 2018 at 9:22 pm

    Come on now. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little motivation while stimulating the local economy.

  • mitch
    March 24, 2018 at 7:22 pm

    I have a cramp in my shoulder.

    • mitch
      March 24, 2018 at 7:26 pm

      HONEY….I got a cramp in my shoulder !! i’m going over to Middleboro, be back when the cramps gone…bye now….love you too… chuckle

      • mitch
        March 24, 2018 at 7:35 pm

        Turtlegirl: hey ! you smell like pussy !

        Mr. Turtlegirl: that’s not pussy, that’s Thai massage oil and duck sauce ..

        to be continued…

  • DummyRummy
    March 24, 2018 at 6:42 pm

    The Patriots and Bruins aren’t going there for state of the art trigger point massages after games. People who go to a joint like this are 57, chubby, wear white high tops with black jeans and still use the cell phone holsters on their belts

    • Jesus H. Christ
      March 24, 2018 at 11:17 pm

      Careful DUMMY RUMMY you just described me in my lounge clothes I just might send down a Bolt of Lightning.

  • Ching Chang
    March 24, 2018 at 6:41 pm

    These places are better than the Nail Salons where people like DIDI go and have their fat gross feet scrubbed for 4 hours, try 10 different nail polishes and then complain and walk out without paying or giving a tip.

    These girls aren’t being forced to do anything.

    I dated a girl who worked at a mall and you can’t believe the horror stories she told me of a certain race who treated her like shit for hours and never left a tip.

    • Just the tip
      March 24, 2018 at 8:42 pm


  • Magules13
    March 24, 2018 at 5:22 pm

    I’d be all for businesses like this being legal if I weren’t positive that these girls are trafficked sex slaves. 

    • fenian infidel
      March 25, 2018 at 1:37 am

      Jews ?

  • Short Change
    March 24, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    Shut it down!!
    There is no man who wants a $50 massage from from a hot, sexy cute Asian girl after working all week !

    Especially when they have a plump Woonsocket wife at home ripping Newports and waiting for her daily scratch tickets.

    • Sloppy
      March 24, 2018 at 11:05 pm

      I guffawed at that.

  • just passing thru
    March 24, 2018 at 3:50 pm

    well this answers the question of where the CraigsList hookers are going to migrate to … I was just asking a certain someone about that in an IM

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