If You Can’t Figure Out Hot To Not Get Hit By A Duckboat Then You Probably Deserve To Get Hit By A Duckboat

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I feel like every time I turn on the news someone is getting run over by a duckboat in Boston. The media treats duckboats like they do pitbulls. They want people to believe that they are inherently violent because they want them eliminated. Turtleboy is pro-duckboat. Always have been. They’re a Boston staple. Plus, how is it even possible to get hit by one of these things? They don’t go very fast and they’re kind of hard to miss. Check out the latest genius:

How did this woman survive in the wild for so long? She literally just walks directly into the bus. She doesn’t look. There’s no crosswalk. She somehow doesn’t hear this gigantic vehicle approaching her in the street she walks into without looking. I’m sorry, but that’s just Darwinism doing what it does best. If you can’t figure out a way to walk around Boston without getting your ass run over by a duckboat, then you really have no business ever going to Boston. Stay home, put on your helmet, and read the Huffington Post instead.




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10 Comment(s)
  • Pro2A
    September 24, 2016 at 5:43 pm

    It must have been an evil black assault duckboat.

  • Turtle Man
    September 23, 2016 at 8:18 pm

    You can’t find the time to proof read and edit at least the title?

  • John Galt
    September 23, 2016 at 10:50 am

    Was that Hillary Clinton? Blame her ‘walking pneumonia’.

  • Emily
    September 23, 2016 at 9:00 am

    This is the problem everywhere. Pedestrians think they are suppose to walk out into traffic and EVERYONE can just SLAM on their breaks!! As operators of a vehicle we will get a ticket if we don’t stop to let a pedestrian cross but they have no consequences to walking out in front of moving vehicles. Pedestrians need to start getting ticketed instead of drivers. We were taught how to cross the street by our parents 50 years ago. I guess that practice is out dated now since no one knows you look both ways before crossing the street.
    Glad the woman will be ok and I bet she won’t be crossing the street like that again.

    • Officer Friendly
      September 26, 2016 at 7:44 am

      Exactly. People think that you cross not IN the crosswalk, but at an angle, diagonally across the intersection. This also is an invitation to be hit as drivers can’t see you from that angle.

  • Try a little bit
    September 23, 2016 at 7:57 am


  • Commonsense
    September 22, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    I would bet, that the girl on the scooter(may she rest in peace) probably cut in front of the duckboat, thinking she could beat it.

    • First Time Caller
      Phil Simms Sucks
      September 23, 2016 at 1:20 pm

      The girl on the scooter did cut in front of the duck boat. A friend of mine was one of the witnesses, but of course nobody in the media wanted to interview the people who saw what really happened. They prefer to act like there are packs of rabid duck boats attacking innocent people.

  • BobnMic's Gerbil
    September 22, 2016 at 5:26 pm

    I wish bobnmic & kevin lynch would walk out in front of one holding hands.

  • whatevuh
    September 22, 2016 at 5:12 pm

    Typical brain dead Boston pedestrian, people on bicycles are just as bad too. I’m surprised this doesn’t happen a lot more often

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