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Happy mufuggin’ Friday! Let’s kick off the weekend with your GoFundMe scam of the day gold mine presented by Katey Bancroft, the most infamous ratchet patrolling Route 2 from Fitchburg to Leominster to Shirley to Ayer….
So basically, this future drug counselor, which is code for “I’m almost definitely on drugs”, wants to have us fund her $2,800 dollar biracial wedding so that she can fix racism before she gives birth to her mocha flavored fuck trophy. Because fuck logic. Also, that’s the picture you use? Really? God, you’re terrible at this scamming thing.$2,800 is a very specific number, but don’t question it. How the hell could you not trust this face?
She’s totally gonna fix racism, look how much she’s done for the cause! This bitch is a martyr for anti-racism. She needs a holiday right next to Martin Luther King Jr. Obviously, she must only during herself with the most enlightened of people.
See, when I was a teenage mom and decided to marry my baby daddy after two kids, we couldn’t afford a real wedding… Because we had kids. So we crowd sourced the cash from other hard working family and friends so we could have an extravagant wedding.
Just kidding! We got married at a court house and started saving to have a tiny cute wedding in our friend’s backyard by a lake. I wore my best friend’s wedding gown from her second marriage that failed and it was like, $25 bucks to alter. My husband wore his funeral suit. Most of the money we saved went to booze, food and that white frilly decorative shit that weddings are supposed to have. Because we’re fucking adults and expensive weddings are fucking dumb.
She’s a hard working college student who absolutely is working her balls off, bringing peace to all races and only shotguns beer with the best and brightest. Totes an upstanding individual who has a crown made of morality and a cape made of honesty.
I’m convinced this semen demon is a lost cause full of fucking crazy. You can read more here! But I don’t suggest it. I cried and my hoohoo itched just from reading it. She must have pissed someone off wicked because there’s this too!
She screws for drug money, enjoys causing drama and fakes babies, amidst other ratchet behavior. I wish I was shocked, but I work for Turtleboy Sports.
The internet is a double edged sword, you can have strangers pay for your GoFundMe shotgun wedding/driver’s license/college that you’ll never graduate while being exposed for being a drug addict DCF mom prostitute, food stamp selling home wrecker. Which, as a side note, I never liked this term “homewrecker”. It takes two to tango, if some guy can’t keep his whoopie stick out of penis fly traps that don’t belong to his beloved main warm hole then he’s a homewrecker, too. Actually, they’re both awful people and need their genitalia stapled in a fashion to render it useless except to tinkle.
You have to give her credit though, she put herself through coll… Oh no, no reality… Don’t you do it! Don’t tell me she had a GFM for that too!
Fuck me. Never saw that coming! She lost custody of her kids because drugs were more important than her children. How can anyone let this happen!? They’re your children! They look to you and see God, you look them and instead of dollar signs, you see food stamps you can sell for dope. Fuuuuuuuck you.
I didn’t see this coming either, because I live in The Land Of Make Believe…
A GoFundMe for getting her license back after getting arrested.
I can’t believe that no one donated to this worthy cause! She’s made mistakes, we’re all human. It’s not like she’s seeing food stamps or anything……
Lady, I’m trying everything in my fucking power to find one redeemable thing about you and you kill me. Every. Single. Time.
This chick’s douchebaggery is so powerful that it could kick a fart right back into an ass. I suppose she when the GFM route since this didn’t work.
Pretending to have your kids while holding up a panhandling sign… On the internet. You’re that lazy and awful. Wow.
No, no more chances. No more GoFundMe bullshit. No more homewrecking chicken head bullshit. Katey Bancroft, you are a worthless skag and I pray this baby gets taken from you like the rest. You are simply a piece of shit who is going nowhere in life. Get a job that doesn’t involve contracting STDs that will have the inevitable future crotch fruit you’re not planning on having but will anyway.
HMU firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @MTurtlette